I am 19 and I’ve been cutting myself since I was 15. I cut on my legs so that no one will see them. I do it to distract myself from the sadness and emptiness and the constant thought of suicide. I feel like I’m not going to amount to anything, not going to do anything great with my life and be a complete failure. I’ve kept it a secret all this time. This is my first year in college and one of my new friends found out what I’ve been doing. She’s been tring to get me to stop but she doesn’t know what see’s doing. She […]
Tag:
Failure
I feel so much anger and frustration I feel like I have tried everything to help myself but nothing has worked so I Â don’t even want to try anymore I feel like a failure and I’m fed up after so many failures ….. I don’t feel like living
she says will you love me forever
of course he says yes
but for the countless times
she seen this like all the rest
end in failure
cause people lie
for that she has yet to find
what should she do
she says
good but do you promise
no matter what he says
she will trust him
but he says yes
they end in a kiss
they are pulled together
and soon let go
apart
she locks her front door
and proceeds to her room
where her true love
awaits her
hello she says
nothing is said
because this is not a human
its a […]
i can’t even begin to recount the times i’ve tried to kill myself – i started in 2nd grade – i’ve been married nearly 20 years – 4 children –
i’ve been hospitalized twice – once as an adult 2 years a go
i’m not diagnosed as personality disorder – but as i’ve read about it – i’m pretty sure i am – but this total break didn’t come until a family member did the most treacherous betrayal deed that could be done –
i never grieved the horrid act against me – but my child –
that was 6 years a go – and for me – it […]
Im just tired…Tired of living…tired of being a failure. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t. I feel like im drowning in a black pool…I just want to end it…end all the pain and misery im feeling. They label me…They don’t know…they just assume…They’re not with me while im in my room…crying…hating myself…slicing up my wrists… The person they see has been gone for a while…They can’t see it but im dying inside…It hurts really bad. Im getting tired…of everything…Everywhere i turn theres critics…messing me up…criticising me for what i lack…happiness…fun…whatever that stuff use to mean anyway…im not happy…i just feel….dead….walking down […]
I just can do this any longer.Had enough of everything.Can somebody kill me?Because if i try to do that on my own ,i will fail again,because thats what i am.FAILURE.
Im trying to remain strong but it seems like everything i try to do is futile, it feels like im getting weaker and weaker each day, i failed at college, i am not performing well at work, i have family that are distancing themselves from me. I feel like i am a curse, my father was a failure & im scared that if i continue to live i might end up like him.My mind is slowly deteriorating each day, people keep telling me that things will get better for years now but nothing has changed.This world is not for me. If GOD does’nt take me […]
I used to care about the knowing but there comes a point where you realize that is a hill and you will never see the top.
I used to care about the understanding but that is just the knowings evil twin brother.
I used to care about the love but love showed me its other side called betraying.
I tried to end it all but in even that I only found failure and pain.
I reached out for help and was told to ‘fake it till you make it’ Â but the making never came…
I tried all the pills and the talk and was only fuzzy and gray.
I learned finally […]
pfff :'( even after getting a girlfriend it still isn’t easy to live :'(
I love sophie dearly and I’ll not die because I want to be with her (it’s a long distance relationship) but hearing that I’m not allowed to drum anymore is just so crushing :'( I want to die so badly now. I can’t cut because that would dissapoint her 🙁 I’m just drunk instead 🙁 I shoudn’t look at drugs as the answers, but it just makes dealing with things so much easier :/
I’m a failure to everyone I hate myself :'( I should die shouldn’t I ? :/ I’m a […]
I ..I just dont know why do i keep doing this to myself? My cutting addiction was nearly nonexistent.And then ,it got worse.I dont know how or why.It just did and i havent seem to notice that. I now do that even when im fine.It became somthing i do unconsciously, mechanically.
I want it to stop.I want ME TO STOP DOING THAT TO MYSELF.
But i cant.
Every time I decide to throw away razors, I change my mind in the last second and save them.
Like i mentioned,i was good.I took it nearly to the end,all of my scars began to fade.
I destroyed everything.Im […]
I’m not trying to be a dick or anything, but it’s just a moment’s revelation that is slowly turning my life around right now and I thought it would be nice to share and get the ideas of other people.We, the ones on this site, usually have no meaning in life, think ourselves a failure, have had (to many different levels) experienced traumatic events or had our lives ruined by someone or thing, and are now seemingly left without many options. Our lives cannot, and will not get better. It will always be like this.
But, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THINGS? Of course, […]
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
I was told that I am incapable and irresponsible. That is true and I was ashamed to realize that.
When I was young, I thought that I will grow up to be a socially desirable person–but I am nothing close to that.
People think that I am a weirdo, outcast. I do not ever hang out with people anymore. I stay home most of the time unless I have to go out for grocery shopping or something.
I cry a lot. Every time I cry, I am in a pain and sadness. and anger. I cannot get used to being alone and crying.
There have […]
I feel like such a failure. Everything I do, or try to do turns to shit. I could go through my life story but it would bore you to death. Â Â (pun intended)
I see my family and past friends on facebook, I know facebook sucks but it’s all I got most of the time, and they all seem happy living the life I always wanted. My girlfriend from high school is a grandmother. My friend from the military is retiring after a long rewarding career. Another past girlfriend looks as beautiful as she did years ago when I thought I wanted something different. My nieces and […]
I recently read a post from a person feeling deep depression for a major part of his or her life and feeling that God is removed from involvement in her life. Â I have done a great amount of soul searching in understanding this as well. Â I have discovered through the death of my brother from his suicide a firmer understanding of God and his complete involvement into our lives. Â I recently discovered in my need to understand that I was not listening. Â I have been reading the bible where Jesus is witnessing to his followers disciples that they need not fear the ruler of this […]
i just don’t know what’s wrong with me.
i don’t want to let my friends know i’m struggling again. i’m tired of talking, i can’t cry anymore. i can’t feel anymore. i feel like all of what i’m doing is pointless, i don’t know what i’m doing with my life anymore. a really important dream was crushed for me in the beginning of this week and i don’t feel like trying again. i’ve already been branded a failure once, i don’t know if i can do it again.
i can’t tell anyone this. i live inside my head and just keep everything in. everyone thinks i’m better […]
Number three, exams.
Everyone goes through the stress of exams, I am currently in my final year of high school so there is a lot of pressure on me to do well. I am targeted to get A*’s in everything, I’m apparently gifted and talented, however that won’t happen. You see my two biggest fears in life are failure and rejection. So in order to avoid failure, I simply don’t try anymore. I’m underachieving in everything, I’m still on A’s and B’s, because in my mind if I try and fail then I’m just an idiot, but if I don’t try and fail then I can […]
So recently I got my hands on some prescription medications and here we go again, that much I was tempted to take them and end it all. My outdated concepts came back to lure me. I even set the date in my mind. Thank goodness I decided to do some research first. And what I found immediately cast off all my doubts. Although those are quite potent drugs that do kill in an overdose, but however unsurprisingly, even in good combination it would take as long as 24 hours before death occurs. I certainly don’t have as much time, so I had to bitterly put […]
My name is Rodney ,
When I was born my father didn’t except having a son and left my mum all alone my omother tried to abort me but then an 11 year old boy at church told her not to. I really dnt belive in Miracles.
As I got to the age of 2 my mum would just leave me alone home in darkness going out with different men. My childhood was awful I saw some things that have scard my life By the time I was 5 years old I could not speak so I had to do surgery it only made my life worse […]
its unbeleivable that today im talking to you all when tommorow will be another attempt that i will probably fail at but im going to try anyway.If i should die.I will probably figure out to late its a mistake and that im stupid.Im just tired of the mindless dysfunction of my life and household. I cant take all this screaming.And i have a therapist who still has not gotten back to me.I just ended today with my current therapist.That alone is a hard loss.I cant take this back.Its been planned and so it will happen. If anything goes wrong its my fault. Im a […]