My names Logan. I’m a sophmore in high school and i just dont want to live anymore. I cant take life anymore. A few months ago is when it started when I got my license and my friend wrecked my car. He was my drug dealer, and don’t take me wrong, i’m no “druggie”, i just occasionally smoked marijuana to help with all the stress school gives me. He ran and fled the scene and found out he didn’t have a license. All I hear at school is how big of a fuck up i am for it, and people who just harass me for […]
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family
I’ve officially just failed my family and God and everything else in between. I don’t deserve a single second I’m awake.
For as long as I remember, I never loved anyone. Like I’ve been attracted to guys, but I never felt anything. Like if they would dump me the next day, I wouldn’t even care. And it’s’the same for my family and friends. Everyone but my sister. What is wrong with me? How would you best describe love?
I want to die, tonight. But, I’m afraid that someone close would find me. I want to raid my family’s medicine cabinet and drift away in my sleep. But, I’m afraid of the person that would try to wake me up. The sad part is, that no one fully gets that something is wrong with me until it’s something turns into a disaster. But, they will be afraid that it was already too late.
so here is a piece of my story that I’ve only told 2 people about….
As you can imagine I’m terribly nervous about doing this.
When I was 5 years old, my Great Uncle and Great Aunt came down to visit..
I never really liked my Uncle Jerry but this just gave me more of a reason to not like him. I remember that day like it was yesterday (when it happened 12 years ago) I was watching 101 Dalmatians the cartoon with him. We were sitting on the bed and I was wearing sweatpants and a green turtleneck. It was right around Christmas that year. I went […]
back to my homeplace and I do not the feelings I should. I am not excited or even remotely happy about it. I am frightened. I have the usual, “common”, yet unrealistic anxiety about the actual flight itself. Its the other things I am worried about too. About running out of medication, about having an anxiety attack, about not being able to sleep, about having alcohol, about losing my mind by not having routine, not doing enjoyable activities, having to lie about who I am because my family won’t accept me. I took the vacation in the first place because I needed to escape my […]
i have become bored.i have become depressed again.there are times where i think if i get drunk or high it will go away but then it all goes away and once again i feel the pain.if you have ever did what i did to your family you know its hurts.i use to think my mom didtn care or love me.i alway thought she hated me and that i was a mistake.i honestly dont know what the hell i was thinking.when my mom found me and ishe looked at my right arms she couldnt believe her eyes.she saw 32 fresh cuts and didnt know why i […]
The past 8 years of my life I have progressively developed worse and worse depression. This past year has pushed me over the edge to wear I have gotten to the point I can’t deal with the pain anymore. The worst is I lost the love of my life because she didn’t think it was fair for us to never see each other. I waited 6 years to be wit hthis girl and for the past year and a half, I had her. I know this is probably really weak reason to be pushed over the edge, but she was the girl I wanted my […]
She is 20 years old. She is an Italian & African-American Female.
She goes to school full-time. She she has no time for a job.
She is TRYING the BEST she can to make something of herself, to make a living for herself, so she can live comfortably above the poverty line that her & her family have been stuck in for years.
But she is tired.
She’s looked for God and she believes she found him. She’s seen him in her dreams, she’s seen him hide in nature, she feels him when the sun comes up. Crazy as it sounds, she believes he is all around, and she […]
Everything is too much. I’ve been wanting to kill myself for so long, but I owe it to my family to make sure that it’s peaceful for them. I’m not financially stable enough for that. I really just feel like the only reason I ever save money is so I can die while still helping others. Why do I want to help? It’s stupid. I’m not needed. I’m useless and even when I try I fuck everything up. I don’t even know whether my family will miss me because they love and need me or if they’d simply be unused to my absence at first.
Hello everyone,
First of all, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
I’m new here. That is, this is my first post here, but I have to admit that I’ve been lurking here for a while. I found this site a couple of months ago or so, and while the fact that this site exists at all makes me very sad, and I sort of feel bad for posting here, it seems like this is the only place where I’d be able ask for advice on something I’ve been struggling with lately. But first of all, I’d like to mention that English is […]
I was born with a loving, caring, and forgiving family. To most people, that’s a blessing. But to me, it only makes it harder for me to make them pleased, or even tolerant of anything. It only makes my life worse. I already hate me, so does everyone else, so my own family were like the only people who I could trust at all, and now they are like people I never even knew. It just sickens me to see what I have done to these great people, and what I can do to all those with a pure heart, unlike mine.
It’s been six months since I last cut myself. I tried to abandon self-harming because my parents threatened me to kick out from the house. I succeed but I just wanna do it again. I feel like cutting myself could ease the pain away again. I’m so fed up with my life. Every time I bottle up my feelings or thoughts, I will be crazy and numb sometimes. I have no one to talk to. When I try, they (family &friends) just turn their backs away from me. They would even call me “attention-whore” although all I really want is to get help from someone (not […]
So I have been thinking about Life for a long time now, and i just can’t see a meaning to live! I want to die, but i can’t kill myself because i don’t want to hurt my family and friends… I have thought about running away but the same feeling of not wanting to hurt anyone shows it’s ugly face again… I actually doesn’t have a bad life, i get food everyday, i have a loving family, i have a warm bed, i have a place to call home… But still i just dont want to live anymore… I’m praying everyday in the bus on […]
Yesterday my mum told me that my sister has been taken back into hospital again on a section for the umpteenth time in the last few years. She used to be a risk analyst in an investment bank – less than five years ago. Now she thinks she is god’s wife, she is having his children and that the spirits are going to take her to another place the family can not reach.
She is not the only sibling in my family that has mental illness. I have it, my brother has it and her twin has it. All four of us by my dad are […]
I stare up from my casket where they lay me to rest
I watch my family as they place roses on my chest
In a blurred second i experienced all the joy they gave to me
I do regret the rest of their lives that I won’t get to see
Please friends and family, dry all your tears
I will always be with you, so please have no fears
I hear them say how they never saw it comin’
how I was so happy,and they wish they could’ve done somethin’
I still remember all the pain I had inside
all the hopelessness, sadness, and anger […]
I don’t be long in this world I don’t belong on this earth
I don’t belong in this family
I don’t belong in foster care
I don’t belong anywhere
I am so fucking done with the world. It seems like I can’t do anything. I sing, well at least I try to, and every single time my family puts me down any buries my dreams in HELL. I Â write, and somebody either says “It’s Stupid” “It sounds like plagiarism” “Are you sure you aren’t copying?” “Im pretty sure thats already a book” or criticizes it. And I get the WORST writers block, and most of my stories remained unfinished, sitting in the hard drive of my computer. The one that I did finish is awful, and I’ve thrown that one in trash mountain. People […]
I wish,
oh how I wish I had the strength to bring my breath to a stop,
I’m stuck between my loved ones and death,
And they don’t suspect my last breath.
— I wish i had the strength to kill myself, but I cant, because no one knows what death is like. So many religions around the world have their own ideals and perspectives. Some I used to follow till they yelled, stared down at me, ignore me, bullied me and drove me into the smallest corner of the church to hide. Til’ my family was done with their business there. Â Sometimes my sister would sit next to […]
My dad says I’m a waste of sperm.
My mom says I’m a *****.
My sister says I’m a Satan worshiper.
I hate everything.
I can’t do this, anymore.
I just want to cut until there sin’t anymore blood left in me, and they can’t save me.
It’s not like it would really matter anyway.
I’m not that important, just some teenage girl with a fucked up mind.
The only people, I’d miss is, my bestest friend, and my girlfriend.
I just, i can’t.
I’ve promised so many people, that I’d stop, but I can’t, and I won’t.