I cut myself for the first time in a year…I hate on what I did but I had to get the pain out one eay or other…im trying to hide it from my family because my grandparents said if I do it again they are going to make me go to a hospital so I can get help…but here the thing no one can help me only I can help myself because its my doing
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family
Wow, where to begin? I guess i can start off by saying this is not normal for me. Iv always been that girl that’s strong when nobody else is. Iv had straight As through high school and iv participated in a lot of sports and other activities. Iv been through many relationships, being dumped and doing the dumping. I lost the love of my life about 4 months ago, he was my rock, my support. He came into my life when things weren’t good at home, just when i was ready to say i couldn’t take it anymore.. the last 3 years iv depended on […]
its funny how as an adolescent i had many different reasons i wanted to die and they made sense to me.Now im not really sure if dying is the goal as of late.Acually im not sure what the goal is.
I find myself getting depressed over little things such as my aunt wasting away and me not speaking with her.also things like transpportation issues.Money issues despite never having had to pay a bill my whole life.I worry about not having a significant other.i worry about being alone homeless and helpless.Suprisinginly i worry about my own health since ive tried to take my own life so […]
I don’t really know where to start with all my emotions because they are very confusing even to myself. I’m 14 and I had depression when I was about 12 or so and I had suicidal thoughts every day. In that time I saw the world in this very ugly way like if there was no more innocence or beauty. I was able to get over my depression by myself (my mom didn’t believe I actually had depression and I didn’t know who else to tell) and with the love of God. After that experince I learned to look at life with great gratitude and […]
I’m just completely lost. I don’t know if I should end it already. I’ve been put through so much bullshit that I’m completely fed up. I was molested by my dad’s friend which my dad doesn’t know about because I was young and scared that he’d do something to my family cause he claimed he will if I ever told. I still haven’t said anything and it’s been years. I’ve also be bullied by everyone. Even my own family. I’ve always been really into sports and I’m a girl so my parents, sisters, and brother would always call me a boy because of it. Also, […]
So I did my GCSE mock exams and just got my results back… I got D’s in everything but English where I got an A… My mum, she told me that I tried my best and that’s all that matters, and that’s she’s proud I got an A, but my dad wasn’t so easy to please… He just kept telling me I should have straight A’s in all my subjects and that if I don’t get them he’ll disown me, and then slapped me.. Me being me I didnt know what to do, at first it was just crying but then I started cutting… I […]
Who honestly gets into a fight over a bag of fucking chips? Me and my family do. I have been living back with my family because I have a medical condition and can no longer work. No work equals no money to pay for my old apartment. After finally earning some money for myself from working the odd nights at my friends hall, all I wanted to do was enjoy a bag of chips that i finally bought with my own money. I bought other foods for everyone else and all I wanted was to have this to myself. Stupid isn’t it?
I go to grab […]
As I vowed in the other post… I will die. Without Stefie I cannot live on… goodbye my friends, goodbye my family, goodbye everyone… You’re better off without me anyway.
I found out Thursday that my cousin ended his own life. The entire community is devastated. My father and Grandfather were both close to him. I have this guilt in me that is just all consuming. All I want to do is cry. A year ago, this could have been me. If I succeeded in killing myself, I would be the cause of more pain than I could ever deal with. I should have been a better family member, a better person. Maybe I could have done something, seen the signs, and now my entire family is feeling so much pain, and al I feel […]
I know it is selfish for me to be jealous of my family and friends that are dating their boyfriends or girlfriends. I just can’t help it. Ever since I fell for you and you decided to rip my heart out I just can’t stand seeing others happy. I mean sure I am really happy for them because I care about them, but I just don’t understand why I’m not happy like them. They have everything going for them and a man or lady on there side. Oh man, how I wish to kiss a boy. I haven’t in so long. I just want to […]
I’ve been a shy person most of my life. It was when I entered college that I felt outgoing for the first time in my life. I’ve always thought my shyness came from an underlying fear of losing someone that I know (i.e. a friend, family member, etc.) My first experience with loss was when I was 5 years old. My brother was only 18 years old and died from a drowning accident. More recently, this past December 12th, I lost my mother. What bothers me the most about my mother’s passing is that her cause of death is unknown. The autopsy reports should be […]
I use to picture what it would be like if I had if I didnt have most of my problems. Would I be different? Yes. Would I feel better? Yes. Will it ever happen? No. I use to think it will get better one day. That was the first year when everything started. Now I have up wishing. I started getting bullied in 5th grade. It was just little things at first. “You’re ugly” “you’re fat” but as the years went by it started getting worse. Almost everyone in my grade was bullying me. The people who didn’t knew but they didn’t stop them. Everyone […]
I am a 16yr old guy and I feel like I want to die, go crawl into a hole and rot, I have been thinking a lot about this since I was young I have always been a outcast simply because I was different or specifically strange. (I know how this must be starting to sound like a woe is me kind of story but that’s not what I am trying to do.) I cant feel sadness any more and I physically cant cry even at family,that I liked, funerals I feel nothing almost empty. I am rather chubby but not too much, my grades […]
Hey all,
It’s 10 days since I decided to follow a plan in order to give myself a last chance to become a better man and find meaning in life (http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/ive-got-my-plan/). Unfortunately each day is just more difficult.
I’m on the right path with most of my goals, I’m seeing friends (even those I hadn’t seen for years), I’m visiting my family and spending time with them, I’m preparing a trip to a place I wanted to visit, I keep visiting my therapist (didn’t find the guts to tell him about my thoughts). I go out and I wear my mask, people think that I’m ok while […]
I don’t know what to say
Someone cares
Someone shows that they care
And I don’t know what to do or say
Because no one has really ever showed that they cared
Not my family, not my friends
But this one person comes into my life
And picks me up
And tries to fix me
And shows that they care
I don’t know what to say or do
I’ve been used to not being cared about
I’m used to be the worrier the carer
Not to be worried about
Not to be cared about
I don’t know why
They even go through the effort
It’s […]
Give me a valid reason to live and I wont go, simple as that. Please don’t give me that “You’re family and friends will miss you” bullshit. All my family is dead, all my friends left me, there is no one who loves me or cares  about me. Do you understand why I’m so bitter? Fuck living, I’ve had enough of this shit! All my life has been pain! My parents beating the shit out of me and molesting me, all my ” friends” making fun of me, I’m glad my family is dead! I’m glad I have no friends, all people do is hurt […]
Why are people so unfriendly to me? Do I give off some vibe that says don’t talk to me? My roommate gives me dirty looks. I will call her Sandra from here on out. I am not sure if this is just how her face normally looks or what but she never says hi or good morning to me, I want to say those things to her but the looks she gives me make me stay silent. I live on campus this semester, it has only been a few days but it has been very hard. I feel like I am constantly sick to […]
Okay well first of all Hi my name is Karalyn and this is my first post so yea, hi!
I am 12 years old [pretty young for this website I know..] Anyways,
I was at the mall with my older sister one time, and I wanted to go to Hot Topic, But every time I ask.. My sister would say “You’re a freak for walking in there and wearing their clothes” I don’t know if she notices but it hurts me and that’s one of the reasons I cry to school. I feel that everyone just thinks that I’m a freak who wears all black and band […]
Who here thinks that the very origin of their depression and suicidal thoughts lies within school? Not that the school itself actively aims at making its students depressive, but rather the fact that “natural selection” is a far stronger force between children than sympathy/ empathy. The fact that teachers cannot and will not truly help the victims of bullying and sanction the offenders.
For those of you who don’t agree with the term “natural selection”: Of course the “stronger” students will not kill off the weaker ones. But as long as there are some children who weren’t educated to be nice to one another (and it […]
I’m a 24 year old guy who has never experienced true friendship before.
I’ve had people in the past who pretended to like me for who I am, but they would never call me to ask how I was doing or if I wanted to hang out somewhere. I use to be a nicer person in the past, but that never mattered in the slightest to the people around me. People will often lie and use you for there own personal gain. That’s how I feel about the few people I’ve known in the past. It seem like the longer I live, the more angry and […]