There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Tag:
feel
I got my dog back.
At least I think so. My ex just dropped her off at my parents’ house, barely saying anything to my mom. I assume this means she’s my dog again, because coming back to get her as if I were just babysitting- that would be so cruel and I don’t believe my ex could ever be cruel.
I’m thrilled to have her back, but confused to how I got her. It shouldn’t matter- I can’t get my ex to want to be with me again, so it shouldn’t matter what she thinks of me, right? Except maybe in terms of friendship, but that’s at […]
Why?? Well it’s simply a douche-y thing to do. Don’t get me wrong carrying a pocket knife can be a very useful tool, let me clarify, I am specifically referring to a combat knife of some sort. Playing with a knife, sure it’s something to do with your hands, and you can get lost in it for a moment, but I find that people who collect, play, and display their knife sets to be a particular type of douche. I know, I know, it’s what makes a person happy that’s important, and seriously I am all for that, but I have a difficult time understanding […]
I feel better (?) but I still hate my life. Why is it that I had a good life (for the last 3 years anyway) when depressed, but have a life I hate while less depressed? I wish my ex had the chance to know me like this, that I had a chance to feel less depressed and be happy with my life at the same time, even if it wasn’t for long. If only I had gotten treatment, real treatment, sooner- everything would be so different.
I am so lonely without my ex. I don’t feel like I’ll ever meet someone I love as much as her […]
Despite working out and eating better im fatter. I got off of work early but im tired and sore. I cant turn on the tv without seeing shit about sex and relationships. I get it im too ugly to find anyone in real life i know. I fucking feel guilted by life to contacting my ex(met online) because i do worry about her and i know I’ll never get someone better. As proof of that someone else who ive met(also online) in the many months since we stopped talking and who i care about but who fucking abandoned and rejected me is in trouble. Idk […]
It’s like periodic anxiety attacks where my chest aches every time the shock of her absence, the pain of missing our life together, hits me.
I may feel less depressed because of the TMS (or possibly the the treatment for PCOS), but I still feel useless. Classes start this week and I don’t think I know how to be human again yet.
I’ve been trying to cry for more than a month but somehow I can’t. I’ve had the idea that crying could possibly make me feel a little better, but I can’t, I can only let off some tears but that’s it.
I posted on here a while ago asking for help with therapy. I wanted to ask why do people feel the way they do when you tell the truth about how you feel. Yes everything that everyone is going threw is sad, but if you really want help with it you have to be honest and tell the truth right. But then when you tell the truth you get nothing but negative reactions or people just blow you off. I compleatly understend now why everyone never really tells people there true feelings. Well not to people like there families. One of the worst part about […]
I basically visit this site everyday since my sister told me about it. But I’m always somewhat off with my posts. Truth is what I’m going through doesn’t really match a lot of posts that I read on here. And that says something.
Sure enough, we all feel suicidal for whatever reason and that is why we stay so true to SP. We’re all linked that way. But our reasons for loathing three things: ourselves, other people and the world/future, are so different.
I guess I’m just stating the obvious here but I want to get this point across. There are no problems that are too small or too […]
So it has been awhile since i was last on here. I found someone who made me forget about my shit life and for awhile i forgot about wanting to end my life. I have been through some messed up stuff but i have always put on a smile and played my role as the good daughter, the dependable best friend, the happy coworker, etc. But this person i fell in love with broke all of those masks. I cant hide behind anything anymore. I cant pretend that i give a shit about anything any more. Why would he want me? Im no good for […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
For me : My love cares for me alot, alot.
But before she came, I also used to think that no one cares which lot of you guys think and feel.
And I know this for certain that we(SP) care. We(SP) care when any member of our family feel low or go thru any horrible situation. So don’t ever think that no one cares.
How ironically hopeful and beautiful, it is ? 🙂
it doesn’t feel like they do, anyway.
i want to make everyone hate me so i can kill myself in peace.
So.. My body has been building up an anxiety attack for about 20 minutes now. I can’t breathe. It doesn’t even feel like my heart is beating, but obviously it is because I’m alive I think. I feel light-headed. I want to vomit. I’m shaking. All the heat has left my body. I can barely move my muscles. And this is only a build-up..
life is pointless and we suffer for nothing.
so lighten up
everyone is fucked in some way, they might just not show it. including the people who you think have everything.
you can analyse things all you want but in the end you’re just trying to rationalise something to feel better. you’re just going around in circles and will choose whatever answer makes you feel the best. which means it’s all a lie.
you’ll become more and more desperate for psychological stability. from people, drugs, alcohol, whatever.
accept the things you can’t change, feeling anxious or miserable isn’t going to help you. what do you want?
there’s no point of looking outside […]
Lately my moods are on roller coaster.
I’m happy and the next second I’m utterly sad.
And whenever I start to feel a little happy, my mind torture me to think just opposite.
I’m getting insane day by day.
I can’t feel anything anymore.
I just had a terrifying dream. These demons were always around me and watching me and I could see them whenever I looked into the mirror. Then one of them came for me. I thought they were gone but I looked into the mirror to see myself and she was behind me then looked at me and came for me . She poured this stuff in my mouth and duct taped my mouth and proceeded to put a bag on my head. I think I was about to die then I woke up.
I was scared as fuck when I woke up. It felt real. […]
After about a month or so I’m back to SP with my suicidal thoughts. Is this a surprise? Of course not. Have been reading SP since 2011, 5 years. When will this end? When I accept what happens to me and move on (god forbid), or i do the right thing and end my existence. I hope the latter happens. Soon, clean and unpainful. I know I won’t do it though, I have too many unknowns about ending it.
Back to SP 🙂 I like this place. As I’m writing this I feel a warm feeling as if I’m home. I like you guys too, I […]
How do you guys deal with the pain ? i feel like it’s just growing inside of me , and i don’t know how to handle this anymore, i’m about to break, tired of living life in automatic pilot, doing things i don’t wanna do, and i just had another disappointment , someone i met and really care about is leaving, i don’t know what to do with that pain , i feel like there’s no way out