I am trying to find the guts to cut myself tonight. I have never done it but thought about it often. I am scared of the pain but feel like I need a release.
Tag:
feel
Hi.
It’s been awhile. I see everyone interacting to get through the difficult days. I guess I would like to feel connected as well.
I am sick of my story and it doesn’t really matter. The end result is the pain I feel at this moment.
Too much free time is dangerous for me.
Hey SP’ers
I am a huge fan of anime and I wanted to post a brief list of anime that left a mark on me. I wish I could list everything but these are but a few of the classics I have enjoyed:
– Here and now then and there
– Texhnolyze
– Berserk
– Elfen Lied
– Kemono no Souja Erin
– The Twelve Kingdoms
– Shinsekai yori
– Escaflowne
– Blue Gender
– Seirei no Moribito
– Galaxy Express 999
– Argentosoma
– Rurouni Kenshin
– Evangelion
The list could go on and I’m sure I’ll kick myself later for forgetting my critical favorites :'(
Please share any anime you thought made you feel a change or effected you in an unexpected yet hopefully pleasant way 🙂
I think we all have a common trend of abuse… physical… sexual.. I don’t want to die it would hurt the one person that really cared but was too afraid to let me know. I think we all have that person… My bf died in 2011 as I was a senior. Woke up and he was dead. I’m ok now just feel alone and sometimes think about how lucky he is to be above the clouds.. free.. one day when it’s my turn to go but not yet. He was raped at 6 years old and only told me 4days before he took his last […]
I’m so tired. I’m so tired of life itself. I’m so tired of not being good enough for you. I’ve tried so hard to be everything you wanted. It’s not enough. It will never be. And it’s torture. Everyday. To feel like you’ll never love me for who I am.
They really do. They hurt so much that sometimes I really wish I could be all alone in this world. I wish I had no family or friends, that I could live entirely on my own. And sometimes I envision a future where that’s how I really live. Phone calls to my parents, occasionally, gifts mailed out during the holidays to some of my relatives, but nothing more than those few interactions. Nothing face-to-face or substantial. The only downside to this grand future is that I am inherently extroverted, and isolation feeds my depression and anxiety and ultimately makes me feel worse. I need people […]
Around four years ago I’d just encountered my first heartbreak. It was awful. She was my German girl and I was her American boy.. But, it wasn’t meant to last, I’m afraid, as she cheated on me. Tough break, kid lol. Anyway, I was a complete and total mess. Food held no taste. Drink held no joy. I basically just smoked cigarettes and played guitar 24/7. I’d eat just enough to get by, but only because I was constantly hounded about no eating.. Christ, I wrote some terrible songs lol. They were horrible. Lol I didn’t know that then, however. But anyway, this went on […]
I have had a miserably hard life. I dont know how to write this or why i should or why anyone would care. i was molested and smothered as a child by my very sick father and my very sick mother did nothing about it. they drink. i dont remember most of my childhood and what i do remember is horrific. my father’s seductive abuse of me continued as a teenager. my younger brother went crazy and is now living in a halfway house and has had issues with the law and with alcohol. my older brother b/c a lawyer and had two children and […]
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
everytime i close my eyes, it´s like i dont know.. im drowning in my own thoughts… it´s like im a prisoner in my own mind.. does anyone feel the same here?
I love this guy so much, but he doesn’t feel the same way. He knows I love him but I’m not what he wanted, apparently. I want to die… rejection hurts so much 🙁
“I’m a burden to everyone” is something I hear a lot, not even just from people who are suicidal or anything close to that.
I think about this a lot and I want to give you guys my perspective on it and why you shouldn’t think your friends and family would be better off if you killed yourself or went away.
Yes, you are a burden to everyone. I am. You are. Your friends are a burden to you. Everyone is a burden. Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what friends are? Nobody is perfect, there will always be differences, there will always be […]
I’m sick of my life… It’s so boring… all magic that existed when I was a kid has now gone… magic turned into cynicism… society sucks… people just want what’s good for themselves, don’t care about others…
I’m a 30 year-old man living in Montréal, Québec, Canada…
I feel like my life means nothing, that I am not important to anyone. Last year, I stopped talking to most of my family because I was sick of being the last one of the family and being treated like I’m the last one in the family, even though I’m fuc***g 30 years old. I tend too much to rely on […]
I feel nothing. Detached from myself. This is what you wanted – to feel nothing. In a moment I was so desperate to feel nothing, craving that sweet nothing. The sun will be up soon and I can sleep now. Safe among my nothingness…
I don’t see the point of staying alive anymore.
This is the conclusion I’ve come up with after the past 7 years. I just don’t see why I should keep going.
I’ve been faking my way through life for years now. My parents doesn’t know about it and if they did they’d make it worse.
I’d like to talk to a friend but i don’t have a lot and none of my current friends would understand how i feel.
Over the past year I’ve started to feel less and less joy from doing the things i liked once. I tear through book and don’t think any thing about them. […]
at least thats how i feel, this is probably selfish, if not mean of me to even think, but hes wrong. everything is always worse to begin with but it can get better. if he isnt willing to get help hes gonna end up putting a weight 10x the one hes scared of on everyone’s shoulders. he won’t get better till he gets help. and until then hes a corpse waiting to happen. i need him to get help. i had to do it when i felt like i couldn’t. he’ll always feel like he can’t until he does. once he does he’ll see the need to. his family can’t feel the weight yet but i can. […]
My health is gone i can’t recover, it’s been 5 painful yrs and i am still here…. I am tired of being hospitalize and being told i have nothing wrong with me and i am treated like i am crazy…. I tried eating natural stuff to cure my self and that in itself wasn’t helpful at all… I feel like i am in prison in my own body……. My family tells me not to give up and friends as well.. I have lost friends… this debilitating illness is drowning me… I feel like there’s no escaping this illness and i feel helpless…. I used to […]
i feel really shitty lately… I don’t know why i hang out with douchbags. i hate the fact that I have fake friends, judgmental parents, stressful teachers,and people who brake your heart around me.
I need to stop this.
Cutting. Not eating. Sleep deprived.
I need to snap out of it. But how?
I need your help, please help me. I need you.
I. Need. You.
I think I have now entered in a new state of mine. The “Real Suicidal Path” . The feeling of knowing you’ll never be happy no matter who you are with or where you are. It’s really horrifying to feel this way. It’s like nothing and no one matters because you, yourself, doesn’t even matter. It’s getting to the point where I’m beginning to not care how my loved ones feel about anything. Rather they are upset about their own problems, or mad over my feelings… I just want to get out of bed right now, go into the kitchen, and stick a pair of […]
i wish someone would pull my heart out like in Once Upon a Time so I couldn’t feel this pain anymore
its not huge pain but this silent deadly one
that makes you gasp like you’re drowning ever so slowly
there’s a constant lump in my throat and racing thoughts in my mind as i wish someone asked me how i am
and expected me to say more than “i’m fine” because they knew that it was bullshit
i wish that someone looked at me and knew that i had been crying the night before
because i felt so lonely because no one answered me, […]