I don’t have anyone in this world. No friends or girlfriend, nothing at all. I’m only 18 but I don’t want to get a job and work for the rest of my life. It just seems like torture. I’m also afraid of getting old. I don’t want to be remembered like that. I’d rather die while I’m still young. Not only that but I generally dislike humans. We do a lot of horrible things and yeah this world is just cruel. I also feel controlled as a human, it’s hard to explain but yeah.. I want to feel like I’m the one in control and […]
hey every one I just want to tell this advice to every girl if you ever love someone it’s ok love him but don’t ever give him your body let him play with him ,because you will regret it after believe me . I know you will give him your body because you love him but he would be just playing with your emotions and passing his time with you . after he plays with you he would tell you simply (I can’t stay in this relationship) simply as if nothing had happened . and you would start crying in your bedroom and he would […]
I guess it all started when I was a little kid. My parents fighting all the time and me being present when they did, it made me feel kind of sad, why did they fight? Was it because of me? And the answer was yes, or at least to me it was and it still is. I don’t blame them though, because that’s how they dealt with their problem (me) and now I deal mine with self-harm.
First time I cut was when I as about 11 years old and I did it because my dad had been yelling at me for a lot of things. […]
Death.
You heard me. All I want from this life, all I’m asking, is to just fucking die. I don’t want no well-paid job, no expensive car(s), no bank accounts full of money… I just want to be exterminated from this world, and return to my place of origin, the place I was before being born, wherever that is…
The thing holding me back? My parents. They might not feel very close to me (well, at least one of them may not), but I love them more than anything, even though they walk on my fucking nerves sometimes and don’t give a fuck about how I feel…
My […]
NOTE: This is my personal story. Thoughts about antidepressants were from a slanted point of view of life at the time, and actually I’ve gained a little knowledge in how they actually help people. Trigger warning: this details pretty explicitly my first foray into self injury, as well as fragmented memories as they came about during this time of my life. I don’t appreciate glorifying suicide, and I intend to keep writing my experience on here as a hopeful path to something better than the urge to end it all. It’s disjointed, but it gets my point across how I want it to be.
In Vitro–2007
Ice […]
Hi ,
I’m new on here and I thought I would try this out since most days nothing else seems to really help. My boyfriend doesn’t know how to handle my episodes , on the bad days. I know he tries the best he can to help me.. but its more complicated then that . I feel like my friends have given up on me, all they care about is partying and there lives are just moving on while I sit here in my apartment trying to fight through my depression. I don’t want to tell them what I’m thinking or feeling because I don’t want […]
I’ve heard somewhere that people with some form of disability usually end up having dysfunctional relationship. Not because their physical disability, though it’s a factor too, but because of their world view. they usually misconstrued “hanging out”as real romantic affection. this usually happens when there is a deep seeded inacceptance (if that’s a word) of themselves. And when someone lends a helping hand or acts sympathetic, they feel as though they have finally found a person that is better than them(only in the sense that the person is accepting), and so, worthy of their love.
what I’ve found about myself is that, because I am…highly […]
morning folks, here we go again. the overwhelming urge to end it has passed, finally. and im back to sort of functioning again.still have all the problems though. no job, facing eviction, no food. why kill myself quickly and comfortably when all i have to do is wait and slowly die of malnutrition and hypothermia? oh well, guess meathod dont matter if the results are the same. i have learned some things this past week that i didnt know before. #1- this website- wow, wish i had found this long ago. reading the posts is like reading my story. #2-feelings- surprise, surprise. who knew. i […]
we are all humans we all make mistakes and learn from them ,but sometimes our big mistakes can lead us to depression . sometimes there are some mistakes that you can’t fix them and when you think about it you feel guilty and you start to hate your self!!!. but you can never fix a mistake by a bigger mistake (you can never fix your mistake by suicide).sometimes you really enjoy your time while making a mistake and you feel proud but we don’t know that this feeling will change and will regret it . and whenever we remember our mistake we start crying or […]
I had the chance to go up the rooftop of a 12-story building some days ago. It was refreshing to get out of the house for a while and the air was so cool what with the christmas season (or a typhoon) approaching…
I stood up on a ledge and looked down and tried to take pictures. When I went up I could already feel my knees wobbling and my hand was shaking so much the first few pictures I got were blurred, I had to retake […]
I still feel is if I’m still to young to complain or feel sorry for myself yet, I get a mixture of guilt and worry.
But, to put it simply, I believe our existence is meaningless, I feel alone, because I am, but that’s not really necessarily true.
I have some family like a mom and errr- dad, but I’ve never viewed them as companions.
I feel alone, no one can understand me, apparently. I wish my ‘depression’ was very simplistic, but it’s because of a fact that can’t be changed.
I just have no one. Iv’e cried lots till I can’t even if I tried.
I always dream of […]
life is love for somebody but when you love somebody you will miss them and it hurts but when you lose those you love and miss you feel like you got hit by evrything bad but in time you lern to see the little shine there is in death and when you find out what death is you wil know that it is a pretty thing,
It is said that 63% of the autistic people, particularly those with the lower spectrum thinks of suicide. 37% already attempted or died from suicide. I am one of them of the 63%
The feeling of not being accepted is a very painful one. That is the only tip of the iceberg. I have gotten over the fact people will never accept and understand me whoever I want. However, the sad part, I have succumbed to the temptation I am no longer able to accept who I am.
My university friends has been extremely nice to me and encouraging despite my horrible result. […]
Ive have had suicidal thoughts for as long as i can remember but this time I’m really scared they are stronger and worst this time i try to think of another solution but it always ends up at just end it all. Everyone has something against me. They all blame me the people that i value so much are the ones who have hurt me the most i don’t want to tell them anything about my thoughts because i know they will feel sorry or call me even more stuff. I have someone who I’m currently dating i feel like he just stayed with […]
I have tried suicide so many times and ended up in hospital, but all i want is for the pain to stop, my ex boyfriend to leave me alone, he is the reason i’m in this mess, killing my baby and beating me up, breaking my bones and my heart. scars and nightmares is all i have now, and i just want to be better and feel better but i cant. he turns up and beats 50 shades of shit out of me, and all i can do is smile and pretend nothing is going on. when i feel like i need to tell someone […]
Yes Creed.
Still alive folks. worried because I’m struggling not to slide into sadness again. I mean things do feel a bit different now that I’m on meds but I’m starting to think abut death a few times a day instead of one or two. And not always as a joke or an escape.
Started going to church again but it’s weird cuz it’s not the denomination i’m used to but there is a lot of singing and hugs so I’m figuring it out. I’m trying to see if being connected with God or the Universe will make this all feel different.
I constantly have to do lists in […]
I know in the back of my mind it won’t help but it’ll at least help me forget.
or give me the confidence to finally kill myself. I need to feel less guilty. Then I’ll finally do it.
….There are so many of us. So many of us who feel suicidal and want to harm ourselves. Yet most of us say we hide away and/or try to fit in. Why is there this pressure/stigma to depression that just adds to the guilt we already have. Scared of hurting family and friends by telling them how we honestly feel. Other people can be selfish, put themselves first, are taught to look after themselves if they are treated wrong or are ill, but feeling suicidal doesn’t get anything other than a raised eyebrow, or a look of fear from people like you are going to blow […]
Unlike most of the people here, I am undecided on whether I want to end my life. It is definitely at the forefront of my mind, but I don’t think I want the finality. But I know that I cannot continue on with life as it is. Circumstances, however, mean that I can’t change it.
I am a single mother to a 3 year old boy, whose dad has minimal contact. Recently, I’ve been finding myself sleeping with just about any man who will take an interest just for a bit of affection, after many major rejections from men this year, and to patch up the hurt […]
Every day is the same… wake up, put on the mask that hides how I feel, how I’ve always felt, and then get on with another shitty day until i get back into bed that night and can take it off.
I’m so used to being depressed now and from such a young age that if i suddenly and miraculously stopped I’m not quite sure it’d feel right. Nobody has ever known how i feel, never told any friends, nor family and definitely not a doctor. I’d never want anyone to know but the funny thing is at the same time i’ve always wished someone would […]