Since i moved to the Dominican Republic i feel as is am no longer in control of my emotions. Back home when i got angry or depress i would just go in my room and hurt myself . Here i cant do that, i don’t want them to see me this way.  My mom says by them seeing me like this it will make it much easier for me to get help, but that’s what i just don’t get.  I don’t know what i need help with, i don’t know if these feelings that i have are just depression or something else. I wish i understood how depression […]
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Feelings
I threw everything into the river, everything that represents him. A gift for valentines day he gave me, a bracelet, a love not, a comb he left at my place, only little things which I still had. They had to go. I went, I threw them one by one, banishing the memories that they were bound too. Then the last thing, the box.
I call it the box to those who actually care, that know about it. The box is about 20cm by 7cm by 5cm, small, brown, smells of worn perfume and nights out. Inside, 4 blood soaked tissues, a pair of scissors, a suicide […]
I, like many other people, am a “lucky” person.
I have a great family, everything I could want and more, many friends who are supportive of me, and a good life in general.
Yet, all the while, I feel this emptiness inside me where emotions should be. Whenever I feel “happy”, it’s more close to feeling something close to happiness, almost like its shadow. If emotions were people, they would come knocking on the door of my heart, then before I can open the door and let it in, it leaves, making me feel something ALMOST like emotions.
Am I becoming heartless? Unable to feel any […]
I’m sick of waking up each morning. I’m sick of going to work. I’m sick of shitty customers who are trying to put words in my mouth or make me misspeak so they can get something for free. Or complaining about a non-issue just to get a discount. I’m sick of debt that I’ll never get out of, or school that I’ll never return to because of the debt. I’m sick of laying down ten hours of my life at my dead-end job so I can have just enough money to pay the bills for my shitty single bedroom apartment just so I can have […]
Excuse the paragraphs if its too long I am terribly sorry. I just need to get this out before it eats me alive. I dont know how people would feel about me afterwards but whatever happens will happen.
Hello. Im 16 years old and I started hurting myself when I was 13.
I had friends as a kid. My family was okay and everything seemed well. Though in the 5th grade thats when I really started to think about things about people. Thats when I started to see people as liars and fakes. Everyone was a liar and I couldnt trust anyone.
When I entered […]
All my life I have put my friends before myself. All my life I have asked how they were doing. How they’re holding up. If they’re okay. If they need anyone to talk to. To have a shoulder to cry on. A rock to keep them in place. Someone to come to when they don’t know what to do or what to say. I have always been there. No matter what, I have always been there. I don’t judge, I don’t talk until everything they have to let out is said, I don’t even tell them what’s going on i my life because at those […]
i’m so lost right now, i feel like i’m all alone in the world. like i’m here but i’m invisible. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up, not trying anymore. I’m just about done.
I found out today the reason my boyfriend doesn’t have feeling for me anymore, its not because i was forced to move so now we don’t see eachother, its because of another girl, my ex best friend too. it breaks me down, i feel like its my fault, like i wasn’t good enough, even though i put in all i have, i told him everyday how […]
I’ve been clean for so long, I haven’t cut in over a year and it feels good. But the feelings won’t go away, they’ll never go away. At times I feel better, at times I feel so happy, and then it comes crashing down again. Thoughts, thinking, I know it’s a gift for us to be able to think unlike other beings, but I don’t want to be left alone with mine. They take me to dangerous places. Once they start, they never stop. It gets so out of hand, and I have thoughts of cutting again. Only sheer willpower stops me. This desire of […]
Okay so I won’t tell you my name just incase someone reading this knows me. I randomly found this website just before searching up suicide things on google. Anyway I am a seventeen year old girl living in New Zealand. I have been diagnosed with depression by a doctor and people tell me all the time they think I suffer from other disorders like bipolar and OCD and others like that.
I have three half-brothers and one half-sister as well as a full sister. I have met two of my half-brothers about three time. My other half-brother and my half-sister don’t even know that I exist. […]
I’m a 16 year old boy who is thinking about Suicide all the time, doesn’t matter where i am or what i’m doing. I don’t have a standard story, mabye i can cry about having disvorced parents or being bullied in primary school but that aren’t really reasons i contemplate about suicide. I’ve never had therapy, i think none knows how i am… I’ve tried a “online” therapy “test” and as diagnosis came out i am severely depressed. I’ve propably been depressed since i was 14 but none saw it, neither did i.
When i read post on this site i always see the sentence: Life gets better, […]
You can go, you can start all over again, you can try to find a way to make another day go by. Â You can hide, hold all your feelings inside. Â You can try and carry on when all you want to do is cry. and maybe someday we’ll figure all this out, try to find a way to make things better now. We’ll be better off.
We’ll be better off dead
When it rains it always brings feelings back to me. I like the rain, no matter how cold it is outside, no matter hot it is. It is dark now and my window is open I am listening to the rain and I am crying. My husband sits in his tv room and readying himself for work. I want to run outside in my underwear and t-shirt, lay on my back on the wet grass and just let the raindrops pelt off my face. But….the embarrassment would be too great for my husband to handle and he’d drag me in scolding me telling me I’m acting like […]
Hello to whoever is reading this. My name is Brooke and I am 19 years old. This is my very first blog in my life, not quite sure what I am doing. I wanted to start just because I am going through a rough time right now in my life and I want people to hear my story.
I want to talk to everyone about suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death between 15-24 year olds. Nearly 30,000 Americans take their own lives every year. An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. Crazy right? What causes people do do […]
This is my very first post on here, and I want to tell you my story..
My name is Emily and I’m a Freshman at High School. Everything seems to be going good so far, It’s an all-girl school so we never judge each other and I’ve made many new friends. Although, it wasn’t always this good. Truth is, I can’t stand my family.. My mother is just that type of person that is hard to love, she’s stubborn and very bossy. My older sister isn’t much better. She’s the cause of all of my problems. From six grade, she would always call me names and […]
First post here. Male, 20 years old,brazilian, never satisfied, always have something to complain about. I have a boyfriend (do I have to say I’m gay?) but can’t say I’m in love. Can’t say I’m not either. This is me, it seems I never have the appropriate feelings. I don’t get along well with my family, I only have virtual friends and can’t say things about how I really feel.
I’m in college, living alone, don’t have friends in my class. I just can’t communicate to people. Seriously, when my boyfriend isn’t in the city I’m living (he goes to college in another one) , I […]
I have never posted here before although I have been reading what others say for a while. I dont ever talk to the people in my life about emotions, feelings or anything else that I keep buried deep down inside myself in order to get through the day.
I have friends. I have friends that I never talk to, and friends that I talk to about small trivial things that are unimportant to me but I deem to be considered normal by society. Its important to me that I blend in and that no one notices that something is wrong. If people knew that something is […]
That night…tall grass bathed in moonlight. The stars sparkle brightly as the North Pole’s breath travels down to where we are and dances across your cheek. Tall grass and white flowers..in that place  next to the brook and that wise old tree. We would stretch out between the roots under the spot where you carved our initials when we were young. The place where we fell in love, where you first tried to kiss me and I pulled away and ran as you chased me until i tripped over a secret root and you fell on top of me. Dear God we were only 13 and 14 […]
Rapidly spiraling
down,
down,
always downward.
Never up.
Envisioning in my mind
of blood running down my arm
my face
my stomach
my legs & ankles.
Feelings of nothingness.
Wanting to cry, throw up,
and turn away with guilt and regret.
Suicidal Tendencies come forth,
beckoning and pushing me away
from the temporary refuge
I had inexplicably found in dreams.
Regrets pile up around me
little post-it notes on the walls
covered in despair and insanity.
Incomprehensible thoughts running through my head
screaming in agony I bleed
scarlet rivulets create a river of inconsistencies.
I was told by so many different people that I should kill myself. I’ve been told it since I was little. My dad, kids at school, my friend’s mom, people online I tried to open up to. I’ve been told indirectly that because I’m gay I should kill myself and burn in hell. I’ve been told that everyone hates me. People accuse me of lying for attention when I reveal that I was raped when I was six. I’m an idiot. I always say and do things to make people annoyed with me and hate me. I know they’d all be happier if they didn’t […]