I’ve always managed my depression very well. But recently over the last 4 months I have just seemed to sink lower and lower. Now I know it probably hasn’t helped I’ve bottled up my feelings in the past.
But anyway the main problem is I’ve lost my smile, confidence and my ability to interact socially.
See about ten years ago I was a very recluse person and if I did go out I was always a loner. Then I met my best mate and he brought the best out of me.
Now ten years later he now lives in a different town and I’ve started […]
Tag:
Feelings
To me, life was an incandescent glow of pure hatred and envy.
It didn’t matter if my mother was dead or alive, because nobody cared.
& like every other life, the world would move on, and I will become nothing but an unwritten part of history.
Every day was painfully alike. Made up of an accumulation of insignificant moments.
Brushing my teeth, combing my hair, getting teased and beaten; all these moments, all these tiny deeds that have accumulated and has become what is now my life.
And each day I would wait, and think that there was a reward waiting for me in the […]
Well nothing happen today. Well except for demons talking to me ! Well I been feeling kind of sad today like I want to cry but I’ll just hold my tears inside. Well I don’t why I’m Feeling sad and nothing hasn’t happen too me today ! My brothers and sisters are nobody wasn’t messing with me. Why is this everyday feeling ? I really don’t know !!!!
I have been through it all. I lost my little brother at a really young age and then after losing him watched my whole family fall apart. My mom started drinking, my dad left our family and i was the main caretaker of my 1 year old sister as I was 7. I started craving attention so i would go find guys to say they loved me. Then one got me into pot. Not saying pot is bad. But it completely changed my life around. I didn’t give a fuck about my family or my friends. Just sneaking out seeing my boyfriend and smoking […]
At this moment I don’t know what I feel. It’s like my chest is being squeezed. I’m finding it hard to breathe. I can’t find the words to express how I feel, neither do I know how to write about them. My mind is empty, it feels like i can’t think anymore and the only thing I feel anymore is sadness, anger, or hate towards myself.
I never cry in front of people and today I cried in school. In front of a bunch of judgamental hypcrites. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, my desire to die is uncontrollable , it emerges at anytime. I […]
I noticed the comments were off and couldn’t figure out how to fix it, so hopefully re-posting will work. Comment if you want.
Do you see
The troubles that blind me,
The pains I have to face,
The hardships I have,
To endure?
Do you see
The cuts, everywhere,
The substances, the lies,
The feelings I have to face,
Everyday?
Do you see
How hard it is,
To just be me?
How much it sucks,
To be me?
Do you see
That I’m crying,
Screaming out for help?
It’s too bad,
That no one,
Chose to notice.
Do you see
That I’m hurting,
Broken, kicked
To the curb?
Can’t you […]
Well I’m not sure how much more I can take. The feelings of everyone person hating me for anything is hurting so bad that it feels like I can’t even breathe. The verbal abuse at home and at work is just to much. I know that sounds stupid but it’s constant all day every day. The one person I thought would always be there for me is starting to think I want to stay and live with it. But that’s not true I just don’t have anywhere to go and to think about trying to live with her would be to much on her. When […]
Life the hound
the equivocal
comes to me at a bound
either to rend me
or to befriend me
I don’t know his intentions
till he jumps at my bare hand
with teeth or tongue
meanwhile I wait for the event
——————————————————
I like this poem,because it expresses my feelings of anxiety
and apprehension.I just wish I knew the poet who made it.
Well I be feeling sad and mad all the time for no reason. I’t just pop up on me!!!! I want to go back to school but they told me I had to go to alternative school. I really don’t want to !!! I hang around all grown man and Drug dealors. A couple of them tried to have sex with me but I wasn’t shock because I’m use to men doing me like this. I’m so mature for my age that people my age follows me. Well they parents think I’m a bad influence. Well I always hanged with people older then me. […]
I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever […]
I surely don’t. That is I don’t care about myself. I care so much about the people around me. The people I love. But why can’t I love me?? It just doesn’t happen for me. I try to think “of everything will be alright and I’m gonna love myself and how I look”. No. That’s not happening. I’d rather not love myself and suffer than lose the people I love the most. It takes me a lot of time to open up to anyone. It took me like over a year to open up to my best friend. But I did it. And now I […]
I am glad that I don’t want to hurt the people that I wanted to hurt by committing suicide. I’m glad that it’s not about people wondering if they would have or could have said something to change things. I’m happy I don’t have to think about what’s the last song that I’m going to listen to, what’s the last trail that I’m going to walk down, who is the last person that I’m going to see. I’m glad those feelings have left. They hurt my head thinking all those things.
I hate humans/humanity, society, and this real world, it’s all meaningless. I’m a misanthrope.
by niki
written by niki
It is sad that now I don’t feel like I’m a “human” anymore, or want to be associated with a being called “human”. I mostly hate humanity nowadays, and have become a Misanthrope, and disillusioned as well with this so-called “real world”. it sucks, and Humanity, though I used to believe it has so much hidden potentials, yet now I unfortunately can’t help but feeling Humanity is largely hopeless: we’re destroying our own Planet, animals, and even killing our fellow species over some stupid, close-minded, most ignorant & selfish, senseless reasons..
Can anybody here relate?…what to do then?…
Here’s a complete and detailed ‘rant’ of mine, if […]
Guilt is eating me away. Guilt over hurting my family, even when they told me they would rather have me die than to live with me depressed. Guilt over feeling this depression and suicidal thoughts are just because i’m weak. Guilt over hating my life. I’ve only cared about other people since i was little. Even though i give great advice and talk people out of a lot of shit, i cant seem to take my own advice. I’m trying to stop only caring about other peoples feelings to much. But who knew it was so hard to stop guilt from eating you away…
Hello,
I’m new here and just want to get some things off of my chest. I am so exhausted, I don’t know what to do anymore. All I think about is death. I know I am to weak to do it myself, but sometimes I wish it would happen in different ways. I have asked my husband for help and he acts like there is nothing wrong. Isn’t it bad to constantly think about death and how happy everyone else would be if I were gone? I know the only reason I am to scared to take action myself is because I have 3 children that […]
I feel like the only reason i’m still here is because i’m so worried about everybody else’s feelings. No one gives a sh*t about my feelings, but here I am, trying to stay alive for these assh*les. I’m just sooo tired of having to pretend that i’m okay, for their benefit. I can’t wait to be FREE!
I feel as though i just drift threw life no feelings no nothing.I dont even thimk im me anymore.i dont feel as though im here i feel like like nothing is real.theres no point in being here if i cant feel anything anymore.gosh i just want to say f it and kill myself.thres nothing to live for anyway
Death is upon me. Goodbye Cruel World.
let me start by saying, i tried to kill myself in 2003 by slitting my wrists, i made a mistake of doing it outside and i made such a scene that i was found before i could end what i had started (pity).I have never spoken to any of my friends about that night.The only person who knows what happened is me so i hope i press publish (Which will be a big moment for me ).Roll forward to 2012 and the battle inside is in full flow.I havent had a job since 2003 either which hasnt helped me (i have something wrong with me which makes it nearly impossible for anyone to […]