Tag:

feels

Depression

by Trix 9/27/2015

written by Trix

Today has been painful.

Every time I came out of my darkened room the light made me ill within 5-10 minutes. Each time it happened I made my way back to bed, hardly able to walk. Talking to my mum made me ill. Every time we talked for five minutes I’d have to lie down, confused, with my body aching all over. Any sensory stimulation makes me worse. I think I could cope with all the physical effects of illness if I wasn’t already severely depressed, although the way it affects my brain feels unbearable.

All day I’ve been looking forward to the eclipse, but because of […]

9/27/2015 25 comments

For someone who spends most of his time thinking, I’m pretty damn shallow.

by thehusk 9/26/2015

written by thehusk

Since I was 12 or 13 (over half my life ago), my mind has been consumed to an ever increasing extent by longing. By lust. Though I like to tell myself it’s love – that it’s somehow special.

Behind all my other thoughts is the constant desire to be with whoever I’m most attracted to at the time. Not to be in a real relationship, but to be with the idealised version of them that I’ve created in my head.

This is obviously pretty destructive, since it identifies meaning and happiness with a virtually impossible ideal. But I don’t feel like I can let it go. Something […]

9/26/2015 2 comments

i can’t be happy if I’m not dating someone

by ismedyl 9/22/2015

written by ismedyl

i feel awful when I’m alone i feel like no one loves me or wants to be around me. which is probably true, i mean people just don’t like me. idk why I’m always nice maybe ill tell some bad jokes that aren’t funny sometimes but the good jokes come a lot more often than the bad. Maybe I’m not the coolest guy ever but people love me when we’re drunk i guess because its easy when neither of you can follow in conversation and just say whatever pops into our heads. but i guess my deep seeded hatred of myself comes from my inability to be […]

9/22/2015 7 comments

I’m a Loser, Baby (so why don’t you kill me?)

by thehusk 9/22/2015

written by thehusk

It’s safe to say I’ve fucked up my life pretty thoroughly. To the point where it feels like there’s no way back. This is who I am. It’s not some temporary blip. It’s a consistent reflection of my thoughts and feelings.

I’m so far outside normal human life that it’s scary. I turned 28 last week, but a large part of my thinking and behaviour is still trapped in childhood. And I can’t see any way to catch up now. I can fake a degree of social confidence for a while, but it’s easy to see through. I haven’t developed any of the skills that most […]

9/22/2015 5 comments

This will be long..

by radi0active-f_ckup 9/22/2015

written by radi0active-f_ckup

Around November, 2011, I met him. I was almost 12 (I’m 15 now), & he was 22.. I fucking fell for him so hard. I never even knew what it was like to be in love with someone, but goddamn I fucking knew that he was the one I wanted to be with. At first, we were okay with each other.. We met because he was my mom’s tattoo artist, & they happened to be really good friends. My mom had recently found out about me self-harming, so she introduced me to him, & told me that if I ever needed someone, I could go […]

9/22/2015 8 comments

by lostwander 9/20/2015

written by lostwander

My heart is completely broken. Reality is setting in that I am now single and alone. My heart is pounding but my body feels numb. I can’t even eat, it just makes me feel sick. I’m at work right now wondering why the hell I didn’t just kill myself last night. I can’t handle all of these emotions running through my head. I can’t think straight about what I’m going to do with my life. Leaving is a way out of this all and it seems to be the perfect answer. I just want to be held. I want someone to smooth my hair over […]

9/20/2015 1 comment

by deerdezz 9/19/2015

written by deerdezz

Im a little nervous bout tomorrow night. I dont have anything planned but it always seems in my luck for things to start turning topsy turvy whenever i let the roll of the dice take the wheel. Ive been spending the week with a really close friend of mine i known since highschool. Hes been under a lot of stress with his mom going through chemo even had an infection scare and i drove her an hour back towards LA to the nearest hospital.

Shes doing much better btw and weve been having a good time in each other’s company but it feels bittersweet knowing […]

9/19/2015 0 comment

my story

by brunette648 9/18/2015

written by brunette648

in honour of World Suicide Prevention day last week, I just wanted to share a success story; my story.
1 year ago on June 15, 2014; this was me.
and 461 days later I am still here ??

the bravest thing I’ve done thus far in my life was choosing to stay. to stay, and to keep fighting! life is messy, and it is damn hard, but you know what I also found out a rather hard way? it is REALLY worth it. […]

9/18/2015 7 comments

What’s the point?

by lacethefox 9/18/2015

written by lacethefox

Lately I’ve been asking myself one question. What’s the point of everything I’m doing?

Why am I trying?

Who really even care’s what happens to me?

See I’m a single mom of two. I have a two year old and a four year old. An ex who doesn’t give two flying chicken nuggets about them and a family that more or less feels like they despise me lately. I can’t get over no matter how hard I try people still seem to hate me for some reason. I screwed up and called a close friend a friend today and he got upset because he was hoping for the […]

9/18/2015 5 comments

show of hands

by tphg 9/17/2015

written by tphg

Who here has social anxiety that extends to the internet? It’s a lot easier to share my thoughts online, and it doesn’t bother me who reads, but talking to people directly via comments sends me into a state of panic. Even positives comments leave me flustered to the point that I have to close my browser and go do something else for a little while. Here, making comments on news stories, youtube videos; all so nerve wracking.

I figure that most people are their bodies, or have convinced themselves that they are their bodies, but I’ve convinced myself that I’m inside my body controlling it. All […]

9/17/2015 2 comments

Do you know how it feels when…

by flatliner 9/13/2015

written by flatliner

…you are in love with a girl and you know that you will never be able to do anything with her because you are the ugly, short idiot that nobody cares about? I am so depressed and desperate all the time because of that and because i know that i will be alone forever. I feel terrible so much that i lock myself in my room and i hate everyone. I don’t want to speak to anyone… i was starting to get used to the fact that i am unattractive and that i will never find the special one but now… now i feel so […]

9/13/2015 9 comments

Late night lonlieness

by AA2I2 9/12/2015

written by AA2I2

This is going to be my first post. I have read some posts from other people about various different things hoping it might lift my spirits up to know that I’m not the only person who feels like I do. But it doesnt. I feel better commenting back to people with positiviy, but I personally still fucking hate everything about myself and my life. I’m going no where fast. I feel like I’m just existing in this world. I’m not living. I would love to live. However, I don’t see that happening. It’s been too long feeLing like I do. Too many nights and days […]

9/12/2015 1 comment

Day 2.

by Alex 9/11/2015

written by Alex

It’s been … Around 3 days since I stopped taking my medication.. I’ve been feeling really lightheaded throughout the day and I guess it’s something normal? I stopped because I dont think it’s doing any good to me or changing any thoughts of suicide and self harm. Of course my family and doctors don’t know that I’ve stopped, but my family has noticed me not feeling too good so I just told them the truth that I’ve been having some headaches and feeling lightheaded and whatnot but they don’t really give it too much thought. I’m going back to lying to my friends and family […]

9/11/2015 3 comments

think about suicide constantly

by sissonr5 9/9/2015

written by sissonr5

My life is in complete shambles, some off it is my own fault but not all. the only reason stopping me is the pain id cause my mother. Im 37 and when i look back 20 years ago i had way more going for me then i do now. so to me it feels like all i have to show for 2 decades is emotional pain, disappointments and and battle scars. How much further backwards doi want to go? It feels like tunneling through the earth with a plastic spork would be easier then climbing out of this whole. But i have atleast decided to […]

9/9/2015 1 comment

Just Some Things

by Black_Heart2001 9/9/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

I ran across these two posts today, and I thought that they were really moving.

Even when I wanted to die, to kill myself
To rip each cell of my being apart, not once,
Not ever, did I miss a piece of homework.

Or fail a test or skip an hour-long lesson.
Sure, I skipped three meals a day but at least
I had my priorities straight.

I see these kids walking in front of me to school.
I see them, and they are zombies.
Blank faces, I doubt they’ve slept,
Probably up all night doing that essay
They forgot to do because their parents
Asked them to […]

9/9/2015 2 comments

by Rotted_Flesh 9/8/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

Some days, some days.
The spinning it feels the same.
Let gravity settle you where you lay.
Our minds can’t grasp all that empty space,
but our hearts still feel it when its there, just the same.

Some days, some days.
Just out of reach. Whats ahead has always been to far for me.
I’ve been here far to long but I’m not sure whats changed.
I still think that I should have more things to say.

Good bye, stay safe.
I need to leave. Emptiness has always been a theme for me.
My legs will bear what my heart can’t take,
but like the tides my […]

9/8/2015 0 comment

Sarin

by Trix 9/5/2015

written by Trix

It’s only been a couple of weeks since we stopped talking and it already feels like months. I feel so lonely now, but overall it’s easier this way. I think about the things that happened a bit less all the time, and I’m not waiting for your emails. But I still think about you every day. I miss the things you said so much. I think about everything bad that happened, and all the reasons our relationship was crumbling away, why it ended and why I shouldn’t get back in touch with you. And I remember all the things you said when we first met. […]

9/5/2015 12 comments

Insignificant

by Freakinblackhart 9/3/2015

written by Freakinblackhart

So everyday is a complete blur. It doesn’t feel like I’m living, it just feels like I’m enduring. I can’t get anything right. I have the help I need like counsellors and medication but it doesn’t make any difference. My dad and his gf think I should just fake a smile and slowly accept it as it will brighten up my day. No, because I always get the gut feeling that I’m not allowed to be happy. Not with funny incidents, not jokes, not happy with myself. Just not happy in general. I can’t be. Every time I am I seem to fuck something up […]

9/3/2015 4 comments

So…

by Bri 9/2/2015

written by Bri

I’m testing tomorrow to graduate, sure it’s with a GED, but it’s more than I’ve ever expected to do in life.

Like I’ve said before, I never imagined living past a certain age… But to be turning 17 next month, and to be graduating this month… It feels so unreal. I’ve already been asked so many times what I plan to major in, but honestly I’m not sure what I want to do with a life I didn’t even want to keep. I want to make a difference, I really do, but I’m just one person y’know? and I don’t know exactly how I’m going to […]

9/2/2015 3 comments

Scattered brains

by HereticBlood 9/1/2015

written by HereticBlood

My mind is spinning per usual… This time it feels like it may blow… If anyone’s up and willing to talk find me on KIK at darkestraven1218

9/1/2015 1 comment

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