here i sit without clean clothes, drinking coffee and without a soul in the world to care for me. I hate life and I have nothing to do with it anymore, but im unable to end it right away. here shortly in a week or so I’ll attempt to fix my mistakes however it’s going to be very hard to carry on as i will feel like i failed at following through with suicide itself. beating suicide isn’t an achievement once you’ve sworn up and down to yourself you will do it regardless of what happens for the better. my ultimate hope is that i […]
Simply put… I am tired of feeling like I don’t belong. In fact, wanting to belong felt like the only thing I could believe in.
Up till this present moment in time, I have been a poser. That may not be the right word to use but it is true. I have lied about my feelings, my personality, and in general, my life. Now I won’t go into details about how I hate my life and nothing is working out, so, here is a rant for you.
Optimism is a false belief which many people face. I, being a teenager and a homosexual, have learnt this the […]
My original post of this was a little harsh, so I posted a better version of it. I’m 25, married and suffering. This is just a glimpse of what my life has been like. At age 4 I was diagnosed with Spinabifida, and then my dad died. I grew up an angry kid. As I got older I got Appendicitis and lost tons of weight. I was down to near 70 pounds when they finally got the appendix out. After months of therapy I finally healed. Everything seemed to get better and so I wanted to start a new life. I got married and moved […]
This is me by the way.
Alright, well my names Michaela.
And I am 18 years old.
I just got out of the hospital on Monday for my depression and suicidal ideations.
I have been begging and pleading for a specific persons help for a long time so i wont have the feeling and urge to kill myself.
But he has been treating me like shit, putting me on the side and making me feel worthless.
I have had it.
He was the only thing […]
I’ve been going through the motions for years now. I’ve put on a brave face, told myself if I try hard enough that life would be great, I’ve done it all. I tried drinking my problems away but my presistent optimism kept my from becoming a real alcoholic. Just recently my best friend and one of the few men I’ve ever loved got married. Out of the blue kind of married. Just a few days before all of it we were sleeping together. To top it off he got married 3 days after my birthday, lol he’s an ass but I do still love him. […]
I’ve spent the last few days trying to wish myself out of existence.  So far, it’s not working.  I think I’ll keep trying, though.  The alternative is to stop wishing and do something about it myself…
my ex the girl i love more then anything in the world just told shes dating the guy she developed a crush on while we were dating. she decided to move in with the guy a few days after the break up n now shes dating him. my one true love is gone. n i think im gonna kill myself tonight
The thoughts are becoming fiercer, more vigorous, more overpowering.
It’s been four months since I started my therapy, yet I feel no change. Each month since I was diagnosed, I told myself that I had finally hit rockbottom. Each month I told myself that now there was no way other than up. Each month. March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.
I was wrong each time. It was never rockbottom. Every time I promised myself to try and get better and to make a true effort, something happened. Whether it was my mom driving me up against the wall with her hand around my […]
Between all the shitty luck of my life, I’m pretty sure happiness only finds me to remind me how much it hurts to have it ripped away.
I’m so stupid, so naive.
I fell in love with a guy, shocker, I know – someone wants to die because of relationship problems? Well anyway, I fell for this guy immediately… he fell for me too, his life was in shambles – custody battle with the ex, being sued by multiple people for a traffic accident – on the verge of losing his house.
But when we were together, everything seemed like it was going to be okay. We […]
I’m going into this thinking that I’ll seem stupid or that people are going to shit on me. Trolls seem to exist everywhere and they’re probably on this site too. Also, I ostensibly have a great life, and if/once I can manage to get my act together, I’ll probably be a very happy and successful man. No history of sexual abuse, no awful violence, little to no economic hardship, etc. I went to a good college and, until recently, was in decent jobs that provided me with living wages. Under the surface, though, I feel like I’m losing my head and I’m not sure what […]
I’ve been reading through a lot of posts over the last few days and I have too say get a grip Some of you. I’m 34 years old and reading some of the comments on here you really don’t have a clue. I’ve been there as a 14 year old and the girl that I love so much has split up with me so I slit my wrists. At 15 I got started on by 7 people my own age and all I could do was run away as fast as I could or literally get kicked to death. I was so ashamed to run […]
on the inside i feel sad and empty i feel like i am a walking lifeless soul. i moved out of my own house to live with a friend and too be in a better place yet the cutting continues and my thoughts of suicide continue. My situation is better yet i still do not feel any better. i get bullied at school and i know others are talking about me which is the hard part to deal with but sometimes i wounder if that is why i am still feeling sad. i do not think much of the bulling but it hurts. I stopped […]
hi. my name is unimportant, but i am 13 years old. young, right? i know. please don’t judge me or complain and say i have so much to live for. i just want to say my story, and say how i feel.
two years ago around summertime, my parents split up. it was hard on me to drag my stuff back and forth. it was okay though because it was only a walk up the street. my mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer in december that same year. my dad had accused her of having an affair while she was undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy. i […]
So today i went to the doctor, he put me on antidepressants but i think he was very dumb. as i live alone ATM and i miss her so so much, i think I’m going to take all of them and mix it with alcohol. Emma will be so alone and scared o i have to go help her and look after her. it hasn’t been long since she committed suicide but this life is too hard and she deserves to have her mum with her. my kids have gone to live with their dad and they don’t want to stay with me so i […]
looking around my room i realise i have so many pills. two types of naproxen, concerta, Aleve, Adivl, Tylonal, and sleeping pillings. i coud OD no problem but… i don’t. i keep thinking about it… all the time… i want to soo bad. i could take all those pills. there’s even more in the medicine cabinet and alcohol under the stove. i could take the pills, go to bed, and never wake up.
i don’t know if it’s progress that i haven’t tried ODing yet or not because i keep thinking about it… a lot.
i stopped cutting… i think. it’s only been a few days since […]
Hi,
I am new to this sight, but wanted to share just a bit to those who are considering suicide. As a bit of background, I am a nearly 60 woman with 4 grown kids and 3 grandkids, married to the same man for over 40 years, upper middle class, fairly attractive, intelligent, witty, talented and loved. But last year all hell broke lose…..
My first time in the hospital was in Dec 2011, I self checked in because I had become obsessive about suicide and was tempting fate with pills, a loaded gun, knife to wrist and other dangerous and fatal things and ideas. I didn’t REALLY want […]
There Is so much pressure on my heart I’m surprised I’m not dead cause of It…..sadly.
When the only thinq you have left Is pride and then when thats taken away from you what then?I keep thinkinq back In April (a few days before my birthday) my friend made a comment about his qirl and I and I told him *****’s just *****.He qot pissed and his qirl wanted to “fiqht” me.After that we started drivinq back to our side and It was dead silent.He went to my house to drop me off,Instead I qot out the car and he followed me.We talked.I’m tellinq him dude […]
I’ve been suicidal for two years, but during those two years I had reasons to keep going. Yeah, those reasons were few and far between, but they were there. I have virtually no reason to live anymore. I can’t drag people down. My friends – they don’t know about this. They didn’t much know about my self-harm (well, not purposely. If it was my choice they wouldn’t know at all), and they don’t know much about my ED. I find all of this, all of what I’m going though, humiliating. I’m not this person. I never was. I used to be so happy, and I […]
I am currently living with my dad and my sister. My mom is in a different city because my mom and dad are divorced. I don’t get to see her much because of school. The school I’m currently enrolled in is really strict and I’ve already gotten written up for things that aren’t my fault. That is not the reason I am writing this. The real reason is because my sister, who is 9 months younger than me, constantly switches back and forth between being my “friend” and hating me. She constantly makes fun of me; especially in front of friends (both mine and hers). […]
I wrote this in response to someone who just posted, and thought I’d share it with whoever needs to see it right now.
I have lived with Chronic illness and Pain for most of my life. I’ve been suicidal many times, have attemped many times, and am today…choosing to live for today. That’s all I can do.
If you’re thinking you can kill yourself, please read this first.
I lived through taking enough narcotics (over 100) and alcohol. I woke up in a psych hospital a week later. Apparently I was found too late to do anything for me other than see if I woke up. I don’t […]