Everyday is a constant battle with myself – Somedays, I feel like I have a whole army behind me ready to fight and feeling hopeful and most of the days, I’m fighting alone and the only right thing to do is surrender.
Tag:
fighting
Hello everybody.
In my other posts, I do not think I made myself as clear as I wanted to. To me it’s a miracle I’m still here. Still breathing. Still fighting. A couple of weeks ago, I lost my best friend. She said I was too sad for her well-being. How selfish can one be? How inconsiderate?
I’m not surprised I feel like this. I feel like I’m at the breaking point. I feel hopeless not only about my social life but also because of my skin condition. I haven’t mentioned this in the other posts. I have acne. Acne that I can cover up with makeup, […]
I read all the web and got plenty of advice. I know there’s always hope and all the stuff, but I think it straight to it and my decision is that I HAVE TO go. Please don’t tell me not to, with all due respect I will ignore the post.
I would like to know a way to day that is easy to commit. Cutting my veins isn’t easy, not because of the pain but because it takes a lot of effort fighting my instinct. My body does not want to die. I am a 26 yo male, perfectly healty, weight 80 kg and I am […]
I found my way back to this site, over 3 years since my first and only post. It’s been so long I had forgotten I even made an account. And how disheartening it was to have the realization that in many ways, I am no better now than I was then. The stigma that is still around mental health leads people to believe that these conditions are just something one can “get over”. That surrounding yourself with loved ones, exercising, getting a pet, etc., will “cheer you up”. I stand as one of so very many examples that this is not the case. Though I […]
I thought I was getting better. I’m fighting so hard. I’m on meds now but all I feel is sick and spacey. Why can’t I find the strength to end my life? I’m so lost.
I already posted this before, but I think I need more support.
A person using the name Earthly Constraints on this website says it is inevitable that she is going to commit suicide. Her post is here: http://suicideproject.org/2015/05/the-inevitable/
Please write something, anything, to show that we are concerned for her. Earthly Constraints, I wrote this to some other people, but here: Love this […]
A person using the name Earthy Constraints on this website says it is inevitable that she is going to commit suicide. Her post is here: http://suicideproject.org/2015/05/the-inevitable/
Please write something, anything, to show that we are concerned for her. Earthy Constraints, I wrote this to some other people, but I want to say it to you, too. Love this world where there is so much love in it. You…you don’t have die to be free. I know that what you are dealing with may be extremely hard, but you must keep fighting the darkness with light!
I know that you said that your suicide is definitely going to happen, […]
Sitting here right now, tears running down my face. The feeling in my entier body can only be described as agony. It is always there because i am always alone. No matter who is around, my family, co workers, or the one person in the whole world that i feel I could talk to(but shouldnt, cant put this on her its not fAre to her) can be surrounded by them, and i am completly alone.
Can hear you say it now, call this hotline… what I need is to feel apreciated, accepted, how could someone who dose not know me do that..
Or, see a shrink. Mite […]
Well, I guess it’s time for my story. I have made some posts but I guess it’s time to say the real deal.
Ever since I was a kid my mom would spend most of the time at a hospital. I usually stayed with her best friend or someone that took care of me since I was a baby. Such a nice old lady. She was like the grandma I never had. So yeah, I went to a private Christian school and had a few close friends. Well there were times when the security guard would go looking for me telling me my mom was outside […]
Maximum effort and No outcome – The answer of why I still continue
by neverland
written by neverland
Have you ever tried putting maximum effort and ended having no outcome at all? Yes I have all the time and in all my life actually.
I tried to fight autism. I tried to fight my feeling of becoming suicidal. It keeps coming back with greater vengence. It is like consuming a drug or perhaps that drug is consuming me instead
I am glad I broke out with my boyfriend whom I was about to marry. At least I saved him from me. Unfortunately, I cannot save the people around me from me.
I tried to study only to find out my […]
…its hard… It’s harder…and occasionally it’s on super extraordinary hard mode…
I’m an old member who thought I was done with this place…. Right… Not even close. I won’t say I wish I was dead. But I wish I could free myself ….
After retrospectively examining every second prior to this I now understand that it all boils down to choices….
There isn’t anything stopping us from making better choices.
Seriously just think of a few choices in your everyday life that could drastically change your life. Something as simple as a bus ticket can change your life. If you are underage a new book, look, game or friend […]
Dear city of more,
It seems like it will never end. I want to be out in the streets with you, out fighting the good fight but I am debilitated by this sorrow. I am not able to do my own work. I can only read articles and weave through media to get tangled in this debate that is no debate at all. I send to you love, the little I have in my heart. I am worn but will resist in the ways I can and will be there when I can, as much as I want to just die and not have to see […]
Just when you think things are looking up and getting better, life finds a way to deepen the pain. Am I being tested? Is this some cruel joke? I’m getting exhausted fighting on each day to avoid hurting my parents and friends. I like to imagine they’re just pretending to care to make it easier for me to go, but I know it isn’t true. I started praying to God again for help, something I haven’t done in 3 years. Things have only gotten worse since then. Maybe I just want to believe that I’m not in control of my own destiny, because me in […]
I don’t know where to start. How do i describe what I’m feeling? Ive never been good at expressing my pain. So I’m just going straight into the middle. Its been two weeks and three days. Two weeks and three days from when i last hanged out with my best friend. We were in the mall eating and having fun while she was with her crush who liked her back. It was such an amazing day and i went home feeling so so happy. The next day I had school and halfway through, thats when i heard the news… She died. BRAIN. DEAD. on the […]
For a while now I fight with myself and his voice. The voice that says I love you in one breathe and “whats the survival rate of melanoma” the next. Your such a great mom to our daughters but I’m gonna go ahead and keep them from you because I’m an a hole and I can. For years I have felt the only way to get away truly from this man is to die. The thought doesn’t even phase me because I know how real my feelings are and the truth it holds. Either live a living hell every day with this man telling […]
How tragic can be life
Thinking and talking about suicide
Just in the edge of our sad eyes
A tear is falling down, tired of the frustrated tries
And how broke can be our aim
Living depressed of saving fates
Just one cut can be enough
To end this hell and delete this chains.
But we’re not the falling angels
And we don’t need to go to heaven
As we collapse we can stand up
And keep fighting for the crashing of a few cups.
Wanting a rainbow without a storm
Wanting feel full without crying alone
You can’t say the true before to say […]
Hello my name is Marcello, I’m a 16 year old who is considering suicide. In a nutshell the reason that I want to end it is because my parents are divorced and my whole family is fighting. I have been doing some research about methods and I think hanging is the best option. The tools I have available to me are a belt and 2 ties, I would want to know the best way to do it and what it will feel like.
It was February 20, 2014. Everything was all setup, rope (was seemingly) tight. The chair. The knots were okay. Put the noose over my head… tightened it. Kicking that chair was the hardest thing that I had to do. The feeling was so liberating, I was finally going to be free… one less person for the world to think of. I remember struggling at first, trying to pull myself up, trying to breathe but can’t. It’s not a bright light like they say… it was all just pitch black and quiet. I was at peace in that darkness, I wanted to stay there forever. I […]
At night is when it gets the hardest I think more I can’t hide my thoughts with distractions. I don’t now how to deal with my pain other then self harm or drinking till I pass out. I want to die most nights because I can see them, I can feel his breath on my ear. I close my eyes tight wondering when it will end. I see blood I feel pain and i wonder why he thought it was ok? I wonder how I can continue to plaster this fake smile I have made up and walk around like I’m ok. I don’t feel […]
I’m just to tired to go on. I’ve been fighting depression for about 5 years now, and seen tons of shrinks and been on every kind of anti-depressant
there is…and nothing has worked. Hell has be to better than this. It’s hard being alone with these dark thoughts, but even harder to be around
people and have to fake it. I actually get angry now when I hear people say that there is help out there, bullshit! If I could even see a tiny tiny glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel, I might have some hope, but nothing but blackness for five long years […]