I can’t go on. I just spent the last hour trying to find something to bring me happiness to snap out of this and I can’t find any reason worth carrying on for. Everything I used to know is pretty much gone or changed. My stomach is killing me and I am numb. I look at dieing as almost a good way to be able to end this stress and pain that never goes away. It is sad, but true.
No more tears and no more trying. Trying – what does that mean? – Trying to find a place to fit in, trying to find some peace – just a comfortable place in this life – not looking for perfection or paradise – just a comfortable place … it just doesn’t exist anymore! So why keep trying enough of the pain, enough of the hardship, enough of the harassment, threats and harm. Enough of trying.
I look back at my life and consider how did it come to this. I used to be okay, how did it change – bit by bit over 20 years – but, not now too much agony […]
I am 60+. I am desperate. There is no help to be found, anywhere. Even for my simple problem.
I look for ways to exit. That is my right. But I can not find any sure way that is even semi-humane.
Why? Because every damn drug that could’ve helped me to do it peacefully has been withdrawn from the market.
They proudly announce their success in reducing peaceful suicides. Even though suicide rates continue to rise. Yet they offer no help in return. That is brutal, primitive and being proud of increasing torture. That is being an uncaring monster.
What a sick society we have.
Next friday is national coming out day and in my schools GSA we are sharing our stories… I don’t know what to do because I want to share for support but I don’t want my family to find out. After all my family is a bible thumping, gay hating, type of people.
I’m quite young (only twenty) but I feel very alone, let me begin by saying that I have spent most of the last four years by myself going more than a month at a time without seeing or speaking to anyone that I knew just the checkout person at the supermarket asking how I am sometimes I would try to respond but could not find the words, I moved back into the city less than a year ago and things where a little better then when I lived in the country side but things changed quickly, these days when I see people I always feel […]
Peace to all Love to all and Understanding to all… Find a way to forgive yourself, then you can forgive others for how they have hurt you. Spread love not hate <3
I’ve suffered from depression since I can remember.
I attempted suicide when I was thirteen. According to my mother, it was a phase.
I’ve been flirting with anorexia for years. That, she said, was a phase too.
But my mother was often naive about a lot of things.
Like her husband for example. He’s cheated, he’s lied, he hit her and sexually abused her.
My mom was ill. Most of what I remember of her was her being admitted in to hospitals. She was blind. I thought most of her ailments were due to the fact that she had diabetes since she was 11 years […]
This is for you, I read your last post, titled “Love”. I hope this will shed some light on the subject.
In fact a mature person does not fall in love, they rise in love. The word ‘fall’ is weak. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have […]
i couldnt find any chat rooms to see if there were others going through this type of ordeal. aside from my mental illnesses i have to deal with disgusting human beings on an every day basis. i cant go to a grocery store anymore or to do laundry without being constantly taunted and ridiculed by people i dont even know. i know i dont dress very nice, but i dont know a thing about fashion its not like i’m not open to change its just something i cant figure out on my own. i have been humiliated, raped, poisoned tortured and thats not even counting […]
What does it mean to love?
I have been alive for 20 years and I don’t know what it feels like. I have been trying to describe this feeling to myself but i feel like i can’t.
To love someone, and to be loved. Not just in a romantic way, but with family and friends.
Like, if you were to ask me if I loved my parents or if they loved me i would say yes, not because i understand this feeling. Just because its the right answer.
A close friend of mine used to cut like myself. But she stopped when she found her boyfriend. It’s like when […]
I’m sick of being alive and today, I tried to intoxicate myself with water. Fuck, I thought today was my final day. I drank 2 gallons of water in less than an hour, although, I puked once. I felt this strong headache, started feeling dizzy and I had trouble breathing and I laid down on my bed for a bit and passed out. I woke up with pure disappointment on my face, I woke up to find my heart still beating. I don’t have many options for suicide, just this and falling off the Golden Gate , but I hesitate on the bridge. I just […]
When you’re feeling low.
Aint got someplace to go.
Never despair,
Just sit in a chair.
Try not to cry,
You don’t want to die.
LIve one more day,
Look for a way.
If it’s lonely you are,
Love might not be far.
Just try and live,
You have something to give.
Love will find you,
Whatever you do.
Never give up,
Never lose hope.
Just find a way,
A way to cope.
Xorn
-beat at 55-
I need to find camaraderie, today. I walk because I die.
I got a grand a month, I’ll buy the wagon.
Take this book of true-dire and let me live freely like you.
Godmother of Mercy. Sister of Seraphim. Brother of Crusader.
A chained black-beast of ‘Heaven and Hell’.
Do not ever forsaken, “Salvation.”
Someone bust the next wrap, we can probably make at least a ‘thou’.
Don’t leave here thy no longer; like a bird, you can open my cage.
Pure alchemy, fortress; fortify my iron-chain of fate, vowed to the death.
The faithfulness of it’s mankind, the fidelity and homage for the undead.
I need to explode in golden-fire from the die.
‘Comrade Of True Life; arrive, awaken’
(2x)
As stupid as it sounds, I thought I would never be bullied.
I know suicide isn’t ever the answer. But it feels like the only option. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ll start from the beginning.
My name is Avolvia, as ugly as it is, I prefer Ava. I’ve always liked my name before I came to live in Mississippi. Before I came here, I lived alone. A runaway that no one looked for or cared for. I wandered everywhere and eventually ended up in the house of a nice old woman who I consider family to me. She took care of […]
Thank you guys so much for welcoming me so soon. I came upon this website because I have anxiety OCD where I have reoccurring thoughts of killing myself and I usually find myself researching suicide late at night when I can’t sleep which has been very often lately. I came to this website as a source of relief but didn’t think id actually hear from anyone else especially not so soon. & so now I have a good feeling about this place . Thnks so much .
I see myself running around chasing two kids. I see myself laughing on my wedding day. I see myself being happy. I think it’s all attainable. To grow up, be happy and lead a life that makes me smile.
I know that I have many years left. The number of years I have lived is considered small. In people’s eyes I’m considered a child. I don’t find myself mature, but I don’t find myself childish either. Why is age so important? I think of my future. It seems as if I have so much ahead of me, but my mind reminds myself that what I’m thinking […]
i really feel like shit. i cry all the time when i’m alone. i wanna cut, but i’m trying to stop for my friends and bf. i find it hard to trust people, bc all of them who have been broken promissis. i’m trying this, bc maybe it helps idk. but i have to do at least one thing to try to stop.
thx for let me share Xx
The weight on your chest never ends.
He is the beginning,
He is the weight,
Physically crushing,
The pain follows,
Heavier than he was.
The black hole in your chest,
Ripping your insides apart.
The cuts are the closer,
The release and the cause simultaneously,
The blood runs,
You get one true breath in,
The weight returns
You know its not the end,
Tomorrow he will be there.
He will find you.
The weight will never end
I just registered here to have somewhere to share. Tonight was a close call. Extremely close. It made me realize I need help badly, but I have nowhere to turn but the internet, so here I am.
It all started a little over a year ago. My landlord handed me an eviction notice because I was 3 months behind on rent. Then he handed my wife a note telling her about how it was all my fault. We were already having marital problems, mostly because of the financial hardships we’d landed in, and that just made it worse.
We managed to find a crappy little trailer to […]
Hello there. I have a loving husband three amazing kids a fantastic family apart from my brother who is a complete twat (I mean totally) and I want to end my life…. . . ..I just want my pain to stop and it never does….. I just don’t know how i find the strength everyday to keep going. I am alone in this. I can’t share how I feel sat at the table….. It would break hearts….. But mine is breaking too…took a lot to put this down but it’s out there now…. I’m scared.