Well, I’m the girl everyone thinks is happy. They all come to me with their problems. No one would suspect that I’ve dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts as long as I can remember…
I know the first time I remember wanting to die was when I was 7 years old. When I voiced this thought to my mother, she said she would hit me if I ever said that again.
I remember I was about 12 or 13 when I first started cutting and starving myself. No one thought anything of my rapid weight loss; kids go through stages where they suddenly lose […]
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So, in two days, I will be graduating highschool, on the surface I’m happy and just as excited as my friends, and I am, don’t get me wrong, this is a huge step in my life but.. at the same time. I don’t know, there’s this little part of me that wants me to feel miserable.
I can’t wait to leave highschool and all the dicks in my school, I’ve seen enough of them to last me a lifetime. but I’m going to miss my friends, I don’t know when I’m going to see them again, cause some of them are moving away, like far away, […]
I am 25 years old. I have always had problems with depression, with self-harm; I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I promised myself that the third time would be the last; I won’t mess it up, next time. The third time will be the end.
The third time is all I can think about lately. I have lost everything, these past few months. Two years ago, I moved 1000 miles away from home; away from all my family, who spent my entire childhood abusing and neglecting me, and away from all my toxic friends that only dragged me down into their messes. I wanted a fresh start; […]
am 19 year old, a second year student of Psychology from St. Xavier’s College.
I do not exactly remember how long it has exactly been but I have never had a good relationship with my parents since I was some 16 year old after I had my first relationship with a guy.
Though they let me go out to college, but my life is equivalent to hell. I do not say I am the only suffering person in the world, but for me, at this moment, only my pain matters.
Day before yesterday when city enjoyed one of the loveliest weather, I asked my mother […]
So before I start talking, I guess I’ll say a small bit about my self. I’m 15, a freshman in high school, going toward sophomore after the summer goes by like always. I’ll keep my name anon. though.
But anyways, I’ve been depressed. As a child I had a abusive father, my mother could never do anything about him hitting me or my siblings. He used to come home drunk, pretty much rape my mother and rampage when thing didn’t go his way. My brother used to touch me as a child, him being gay. I’ve never told my mother, I just forgotten about it and […]
I don’t event know what to say anymore. I can’t post on my Facebook or twitter how I’m feeling and I definitely can’t talk to any of my friends or family members about my brilliant idea to end it all. Ironically, one of my jobs is suicide prevention- and here I am the preventer and I’m so far gone. I fight with myself constantly to STAY alive, because I have children, and I will miss them and I know at least three of the four I have will miss me- but today I just give up. The first thing people ask is do you have […]
My Freshman school year was complete utter hell. The summer before freshman year was something you would normally only have written in a crazy book or a fake story someone made up. I was a young 14 year old who was in a abusive relationship and after it was broken off it followed me into my first year of high school. He was telling everyone a bunch of insane stories about how we had sex everyday and he spent the night almost every weekend. The only time I ever saw him was when he was standing at my locker and then he either was asking […]
Last friday my oxy script ran out so I had to go 3 days without it, those three days were hell all I could think about was getting high again. I just dosed up on about 9o milligrams of oxy. I dont wanna go through this again ive relapsed hard and I dont wanna go threw this again. I met the girl of my dreams and I know if she finds out im screwed. I live a double life my friends hate drug users yet im high as a kite everytime im around them and I dont wanna lose anymore friends. At this point these […]
I have intentions to be productive for myself. I want to be helpful and do right, for myself and others. I like to impress and make people around me proud. I have a standard to live up to. My family expects my fullest respects, and endlessly utter my continuous responsibilities. My friends just expect me to be there. Usually I’m quiet, but if I’m around long enough most are bound to get a piece of my mind. After that I kind of just do what it takes to blend in. Even though I’m more than use to sticking out. The feeling is like: hope–To be […]
I’ve had this saved for some time now. Realised from the moment I thought it that one day I would use it. My family, especially my parents, have the right to know why I decided to do the unthinkable. They have no idea I’ve been researching it for months. Devious really. This is a material world and I want out.
To My dear loving family
Forgive him all for what he’s done
A departed soul he has become
His pain and suffering so much so
He had no choice but to go
Young, loving and so very proud
But in the end was beaten by deaths dark […]
life seem to come to a stand still, do not know where to go, what to do, my husband cheated me for a girl, i tried to live with him,13 long years  waited and waited but no he has built a strong relationship with her, a friend approached me promised me to be a good friend but got into a relation, i thought my husband would feel jealous and would be by my side but no he and his girl friend has taken photos in private. my parents have brought me up with good habits, i somehow got over the relation becoz it didnt help […]
I lie on the floor of my small bedroom. All you can here is the sound of my breathing. Is this it? I look over at the wall, lined with posters and silly pictures of my friends and I. The room becomes hazy. Is this it? My left wrist and right thigh covered in blood. They just won’t stop bleeding. Is this it? Those 6 pills resting in my hand. Picking up my water, I swallow them. Is this it? I have finally cracked, finally given up. I may not wake up tomorrow. Is this it? I promised I would be strong. I am not […]
My story is kind of a weird one. But here it goes. My main reason for attempting suicide, was a girl. But this girl, is incredible. Beautiful,
Funny, sweet. Id say more things about how great she is, but that would take a while. Anyway, heres the story. This girl, who i pretty much fell in love with, is like my world at this time. I cant get her out of my mind, i cant sleep because of her. It sounds like thats coming right out of a movie. But its true. I actually love this person. Which didnt work out to well for […]
Most of the time, I don’t need people. They’re irrelevant. I can manage ok without them, better in fact as I find people tiring. I have to smile and laugh and pretend everything is fine. It’s so much easier by myself. I can relax and be myself – even if that means crying in a corner. At least I have that freedom when I’m alone. But every so often I find myself reaching out. Trying to find someone to listen to me, to accept me – to like me. I want acceptance and to be admired. I want people to be surprised by my intellect […]
I trusted some one again and they left me i gotten back a friend but i dont think she wants to talk to me really any more i have my friend i made this year hes a good friend i think i bug him some times i dont think i will ever find some one that whants to be my girlfriend more one day as much as i want some thing with them i put in so much effort with every one to put a smile when there sad or mad but whos there for me when i need it no one i just want […]
that would be so nice, i’m just so tired of being bored and stressed, i have friends and stuff i just don’t like the ups and downs of living. i’m actually thinking about doing it, i’m not religious, so im not worried about hell or anything, i just really hope its like sleeping forever.that would be so nice
I’m 13 years old. I would tell you my name, but being new here, I don’t know if I can trust you all to that extent yet. Normally, I post poems that reflect how I feel at the moment, or how I felt throughout the day, but right now I’d like to get a few things off my chest. I’ve told a few of my friends some of this before, but no one knows all of it at its worst. I feel as though I can trust all of you with at least this, even if I don’t know you. So here it goes.
My story:
I got home from school to see that no one was home. Tears were streaming don my face as I made my way to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed  in deep thought. Why do I have to be so ugly? Fat..worthless..stupid? I feel so alone-my friends..suggested we stop hanging out. I’m not a lesbian by the way. I may be a tad bisexual but so what? I’m not fully gay. And to anyone who IS gay, don’t be ashamed. My brain was clouded with thoughts. I screamed out in frustration and practically tore apart my room. Stuff was strewn out […]
It was only the first time.
I spun the blade around in my hands
contemplating if I should really do this or not.
I heard my mom yell.
Yes, I should, It’s worth it.
The blade sank into my arm,
cutting across my arm.
Not too deep.
It was only the second time.
The kids at school were bullies.
My parents just got mad.
I took the blade in my hands.
I didn’t even think about it.
I pushed it into my arm,
cutting across parallel to the last one,
A little deeper.
It was at least the 50th time.
I didn’t even have different reasons anymore.
To the girl who was called ‘ugly’ by the many people she’d call ‘friends’, we will remember you.
To the boy who’s sexuality made him a target of beating bullies, we will remember you.
To the high school dropout who followed the wrong path of alcohol and drugs, we will remember you.
To the man who had no home, love or hope, we will remember you.
To the woman who lost her husband to cancer, we will remember you.
And to the all the other innocent, pure minds who have taken their lives, we will remember you, and the suffering you have once endured, Is now peace within the heart.