my dad caught on that im bi-sexual…he now hates me. he wants nothing to do with me cuz i defied his religion. and im now a gross psychopath with aids and shit haha ive never had sex but with a guy. and sure i make out with girls and ive had 2 gfs..but really who gives a fuck? thanks to religion my family has more problems.
Tag:
Fuck
im tired of my life. i just give and dont get. my mom needs me my dad needs me. some 16 year old friend of my mom needs me. i like her but turn she will probably never move to where i am even if i wait. she is not stable right now. my sister is always busy and not easy to talk to. my dad cut me out of his life. my mom just doesnt get how i feel. if i killed myself i would just be inconveniencing them. i woyldnt lose anything. yeah they care about me, but isnt every one supposed to? […]
How the hell do you get a gun if you had a previous stay in a psych ward after a suicide attempt?
written by tupacorbiggie
How the fuck did letmesleep get his shotgun? Â I’d love to have a shotgun to blow my brains out with! Â ^_^
Every day I hold back tears,
Because there’s only one reason I’m here,
I pretend I’m okay,
And try hard to stay,
But nobody knows because nobody cares,
And when I need help no one is there,
I wish I was normal,
And I act immortal,
But when no one is around,
I sit and cry on the ground,
I feel hopeless,
And just lose focus,
I don’t want to bleed,
But everyday i feel the need,
To pick up the knife,
And just end my life,
So far i’m winning,
But I’m near the end my hope is thinning,
Soon I’ll give up,
And I’ll just fuck up,
Till then my skin is clean,
But my luck is like a slot machine,
I can’t win,
Soon I’ll commit the […]
Yesterday in a particularly bad time I decided I was finally going to end it. At that time (when I was clearly not thinking rationally), I was determined and committed. I have been depressed for a while but when this all happened something really horrible happened and I had no way to work through it on my own. I know everyone says that and I don’t want to say the entire story, but basically a person who had sexually, physically, and emotionally abused me for several years somehow got my contact information and called me just to fuck with my mind, and it set off […]
I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.
Nobody wants me around anymore, or maybe they never wanted me around in the first place…
I fuck everything up.
Life is so painful.
Everyday is just so stressful and it’s just not worth it anymore.
I want to die so bad, but I fear that I will be missing out on something good that might happen later in life.
No one loves me.
They all just pretend to care and I’m really sick of it.
I wanted to grow up and help others with mental illnesses and those who are suicidal get […]
I went out to see some of my old friends yesterday. They changed so much I ended up drinking a lot I blacked out. I hate the feeling of not knowing what happened, I just wake up in my bed. I’ve done this a lot lately. For some reason I get paranoid. I have a bite mark on me and who the fuck did that. I’m miserable. I’ve never wanted to die so much. I don’t think I will be leaving my house anytime soon.
what i dont understand why are you doing this think about it for 2 secs just think the times we were properd to diy for echother and now this you whant to go i get it but what if were here to be together and stop echother from doing this shit and if one of us gos down we all do i hant to know what the fuck is going on in this world right now
Secretly it hurts… it hurts so bad i feel like ill break down… should I be with someone I crush on or had been with and trust… depression or lies… who what… make it all stop, Jason make it all stop i need you… Take me away and with that my memory, oh please it hurts im the marionette of a whore… secretly it hurts and id rather scream than smile.. mommy saw my scars.. bubby is so sad because Im not sure if i want him… the sub yelled at me all day.. give up because you cant be a string player… no no […]
I come here tonight to freely express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being judged and with the hope that someone out there may understand. Okay ….let’s be honest, there’s still a shit load of fear, but I say fuck it.
I’m still having quite a rough time. My depression is weighing heavy in my head. Can barely lift it up. My isolation is at an all time high. The majority of my  “friends” are occupied anyway. I don’t feel like I have any true friends. But I’m sure my isolation had a big part in that. I just have no drive. I’m afraid […]
That’s all I had planned to say here. But maybe I should say something else. My room smells like overwhelming dog piss, because my fucking dog has not absorbed three years of potty training. I think we should put him down.
I’ve been thinking a lot about school shootings lately. Did anyone here about the one in Ohio? TJ Lane? Anyway, it fascinates me. If I could get a hold of the guns, ammo, and confidence, I would do it. I know who I’d take out, and why. Fuck you, for telling everyone that lie about me having sex with that scum. Fuck you, for telling […]
My mom is such a fucking *****, I’ve had it up to here!! I can’t stand her shit any fucking more, last week on Thursday, she fucking ruined my plans because one Wednesday she thought I was going to beat up my sister because I complained about her touching my things. She made this HUGE scene on the phone, in the party she was in and at home. She is fucking STUPID, all she fucking does is think lowly of me and I’ve had ENOUGH. So on Thursday, she RUINED my plans because  she says I MISBEHAVED on Wednesday, so I got SUPER FUCKING PISSED, […]
maybe if I had grown up in an athiest home I wouldn’t be having this problem, but I digress.
I really fucking hate you Jesus fucking Christ. You are not fucking God, you were just some sick twisted fucking control freak who could bend people to your will and used that advantage to fool billions into believing that you are God. I’ve had enough of your fucking crosses, your fucking sacraments, your goddamn fucking flesh and blood. In fact, I’ve had enough of religion entirely. I can’t believe that for my entire life so far I believed in a book written 2000 years ago by a […]
I am not a wall
I am not a door,
Why is it okay for me to always be ignored?
Lack of importance, lack of self-respect
Suicide conquers alot of people,
please let me be the next.
Day by day,Night by niight
No more battling
I can’t win this fight.
Scars are there to remind me, how I used to feel,
but I take a step back to look,
nothing seems to be real.
I go through the motions,
every fucking day,
but when you ask me what’s wrong,
I don’t know what to say.
Darkness is around me,
everywhere I turn,
Happiness is what […]
the hallucinations begin
the maggots crawling on my skin
searching for each fresh wound
wanting to bury deep inside
this dark rotting flesh
of mine
i cry
i only wish to rest
lying here is absolutely
no “good nightâ€
paranoia
filling my mind
drowning in sorrow and pain
this feeling won’t fucking go away
but i have no God
i can not pray
not for this night
nor for any other day.
I am a dreamer, I admit. I am not always realistic. That’s a fact. I followed my dreams. I was never afraid to chase after the crazy ideas in my head. The processes has been painful. I have failed again and again, yet managed to slip by. I watch as my grades hit catastrophic lows and my social life deteriorates. All of my dreams are slipping through my fingers. Why can’t I do what everyone else can? I am intelligent. I am creative. I have endless possibilities. …But that’s all they’ll ever be… possibilities. While I could write a poem that would bring you to […]
i feel like i need to vent, talk to someone or just get away.
i don’t know why or whats causing me too since i took a weekend off last weekend.
i’m just sick of school, sick of feeling depressed and like crap all the time, i’m sick of not being able to talk to my girlfriend, just fuck it all
my thoughts of suicide have been on and off the past few weeks, the lesser of what they have been over the past month and a half or so.
thought about ways to go, like a simple bullet to the head, starvation, other things. I feel numb all […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
i feel them cutting but thers nothing in my hands
i feel the blood runing down my vanes and in to the open air
can you feel it
can you smell it
im loosing controle
im not loosing fath
im fighting back genst a brick wall
and for some reson that i dont understand im loosing
im loosing agenst an objet
look at the wold fall
look at the them stand tall
help me rase a call
a fighting withdrol
im lost
not fownd
im dead
not drownd
im cold
not cool
im something that you will never understand i feel
i feel
i feel
i feel
i look at my arm
look at the blood
look at the cut that cerculs my wrist
look at me fall
look
look
look
hes gon at last […]
its fryday and thers a girl crying in the boys bog and i realise people are so crule that im sick of them can you help me help her ples
written by why i dont no
right ill explane thers a amercn who has just come to are school for gcses FOT resons unkonwn to me and beeing a all boy school evrey time shes arownd evrey one acts like thave never see girl befor but as this grue old that startid to bulley her and this must hve gon to far because today she was in the boy lav crying her eyes out and cuting so i lock the door and put my mate out side to stop people coming in
“fuck off”
“love im not going to do aney thing to you nor am i going aney were till you tell me whats up” i […]