I’m scared I’m going to lose the only thing that I love. The only thing I live for..
It’s like she’s slipping away and I can’t stop her from leaving me. I had a major freak out last night and cried till my lungs hurt. I can’t live like this knowing that my best friend/girlfriend  can just leave me alone and hurt at any time. I know she’s going to hurt me in the end. It’s sick. I’m sick.
All I want to do is die before she or anyone else can hurt me.
Tag:
Girlfriend
Ok..my day was going good, until I walked into a restaurant and saw my ex husbands family. It shouldn’t bother me, knowing they were not the ones hurting me..but of course it still ruined my day. I know in my heart that ive loved all I can..tried the best I can so why can I not get over the feeling of betrayel and sadness. Ive worked all my life..never went on vacation unless I paid for it myself. Took my ex a few places..even out of the country but he never wanted to take his family anywhere..including mcdonalds. His girlfriend and him would keep me […]
maybe–
but my girlfriend got me a souvenir. and herself edible vanilla body shimmer. her eyes are so beautiful when I stare into them–
i can’t kill myself when she does that–
but oh the dysphoria…the horrifying circles when I close my eyes; my favorite songs now haunting beasts– how can I deal with that?
She creeps up like a spider, and wants you deep inside her, She turns you into stone, A twisted little show….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Sorry for the explicit title…..
but that basically sums it up, last year i got into ‘Sexting’ which is gross, i know. i was pressured into by a guy who i thought was a friend, and after a while i started to fall for him, i loved it when he messaged me first and we once even stayed up until five in the morning….That changed amazingly quickly, one day we were doing our thing and the next he got a girlfriend. That hurt.
It fucked me up.a lot. i kinda feel that those past events helped me to become the person i am today.
I feel so dirty and […]
I’ll get to the point. A last year, in the same week, both my girlfriend dumped me and my best friend since 3rd grade died. I had nothing. I attemped suicide twice. I’m still in severe depression. But that’s not what I’m here to say. It gets better. I’m slowly starting to come out of it after about a year and a half. GIVE IT TIME. GIVE IT TO GOD.
i am a simple teenager suffering from epolepsy with weed smoking parents and being bullied 24/7 at school i am on psn (ALPHA_96_2K11 if u want to add me ) and i hav a wonderful gf but she has serious anger problems and she mostly takes the anger out on me so and at school i hav no time to concentrate and my xmas exams were sh*t and with the juniour cert coming up i just dont see no point no more so at the end of it i hav made 2 choices for myself either kill 1 of my bullies ,get sent to jail […]
At this moment I don’t know what I feel. It’s like my chest is being squeezed. I’m finding it hard to breathe. I can’t find the words to express how I feel, neither do I know how to write about them. My mind is empty, it feels like i can’t think anymore and the only thing I feel anymore is sadness, anger, or hate towards myself.
I never cry in front of people and today I cried in school. In front of a bunch of judgamental hypcrites. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, my desire to die is uncontrollable , it emerges at anytime. I […]
About three months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up and I miss her so much. I miss the times we had together and the dreams that we shared for our future. Now it’s all gone. I don’t want to go on anymore. I’m putting some of my affairs in order today, writing a letter, and going to do it. A lot of alcohol, some sleeping pills and Xanax, and finally, a plastic bag over my head before I pass out.
It was my job to keep my phone by my side…my best friend AKA my brother made it clear that he would call ME, if anyone, if he contemplated suicide. At 9;43PM May 8, 2010, I called him and left a message about the Mother’s Day celebration the following day. In a heavy sleep, I missed a phone call at 6AM from a restricted number. Come 8AM, there was a knock at my door. My girlfriend (I was in a gay relationship at the time) answered the door and came back to bed to inform me that my mother and aunt were there. First thought-SHIT, […]
hi all. i am 38 and i have been a carpenter all of my life. i am also not one of the thinnest men in the world. i am good at what i do, but there is no joy in me. i live in a little country, were its wrong to not be happy. i find no happynes in anything, and my girlfriend has not been touching me at all for over 4 months.. there is no work to be found. i barly can get the things to fit, and i am always outa money. i have tried to end it before, 2 times to […]
not to long ago i was asked if i could take a pill that would end my life painlessly would i do it…. i was on the phone with my girlfriend… i said no…. im not so sure now.
let me start by saying, i tried to kill myself in 2003 by slitting my wrists, i made a mistake of doing it outside and i made such a scene that i was found before i could end what i had started (pity).I have never spoken to any of my friends about that night.The only person who knows what happened is me so i hope i press publish (Which will be a big moment for me ).Roll forward to 2012 and the battle inside is in full flow.I havent had a job since 2003 either which hasnt helped me (i have something wrong with me which makes it nearly impossible for anyone to […]
Spent New Years Eve completely alone. I have nothing left to live for. I have no real friends, no job, no education, am ugly, have never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin in my mid 20’s. I have never even kissed a girl. Truly pathetic. I have crippling social anxiety and am too scared to even go about seeing a prostitute. I just need to muster up enough energy and courage to go through with my plan and not fuck up and I will never have to endure another moment as myself… I genuinely wish everyone that is here who still have hope […]
The girl that use to sit on this bed was ashamed to call her self a daughter, friend, girlfriend and so on. The girl who use to sit on this bed was scared to face her self in the mirror. The girl who use to sit on this bed would smush her self into a little ball every night and cry. The girl who use to sit on this bed only saw darkness. The girl who sat on this bed never understood why know one wanted her. The girl who use to sit on this bed saw the blood drip from her arm every day […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
[Natalie] Anything you wish to say at this very special moment?
LIAR. FAILURE. FAT. WHORE. USELESS DROPOUT SHIT. TOXIC PREGNANT CUTSLUT. JERKOUT TRUCK WOMAN WITH A MANUFACTURED EGO. HOPELESS AT LOVE. WORSE AT LIFE. MENTAL WASTEOUT COCKEATER. DETATCHED MUTE GIRL. SEMI AWAKE REJECT. RSA ENCODED GOVERNMENT SECRET. NAUGHTY NAUGHTY FINGER FUCKIN HORNY LITTLE NAUGHTY PANTY CAM GIRL.
[bleach the girl][a bleach bottle on an empty cabinet]
[comatose[corrode[Clorox[low
Imgonnatearyouapart[imintearsasireadthis]
peroxide. mechanical surveillance culture. misery butterfly. studio meds.
i think youre conceited[and i dont believe you do care]
next to you [they [sic] love you] in the mirror
in the bar. then outside. i fell into the trap. i am a child in playboy bunny […]
Im a 13 year girl. I live in Puerto Rico. I go to school. My Family: Mom, Dad, Brother(older)and my grandparents(divorced)ect… My Mission is helping other that have been through the same pain, anger, hatred, and sadness which that cause Depression or Suicide Attempts. The most important thing is to reach them out and say ”Never Give Up” because you are not alone, If you need someone to talk to, to hear you, I’ll be here. Remember ”Never Give Up”
Well im not sure why im here i geuss this site just felt like the best place to share my story. Ive helped a lot of suicidal people and i was told that i was very good at helping to change there lifes i listened to them and helped but ive never had any one help me. When i was born my mother and father were addicted to cocaine things weren’t so bad my dad had a stable job and i had my grandfather. When my grandfather died i was about 4 or 5 my dad became closer to my uncle who was also a drug […]
Im crying while im writing this, i dont value my life anymore, nobody likes me i feel all alone by myself and even if i try i always fail at everything, i’ve heard that im horrible and stupid and all kinds of bad things that you can imagine, i just have one single true friend and a couple more that i just feel that i cant trust, i never had a girlfriend neither i kissed anyone, i feel like im too young for suicide but i just cant take it anymore, i feel like an empty in my heart, that theres a growing pain inside […]