I cut again…. this time in a place that no one will see.
My friend has ignored me all summer, and now that school started it’s really sad to pass him on the bus in awkward silence, and to see him in school and to walk right by him. I figured I would try one more time and if he didn’t talk to me, then I was done trying. He ignored me again… 🙁 This really makes me sad because we used to bereally good friends, and now he wants nothing to do with me and I miss his presence in my life so much.
I hope you all had […]
Tag:
Good Friends
sOO my life has gotten extremely glamorous. deferred from college on medical absence to deal with my depression. omg im so effing cool. but really, last thing my rapist said to me was i hope you kill yourself or one of your eating disorders kill you. YAY. i swear, i sound like such a trip. it’s just exasperating that i have so much baggage and i’m so young. i want to be young and free and live my prime and instead i’m back at home trying to recover from my PTSD while all my other issues reman unresolved. honestly, i dont even give a flying […]
I’ve come to the point in my life where I’ve realized there is no point.
by pasquelina
written by pasquelina
Since I was 14 or 15 I’ve detested living, but for the most part I’ve hung in there for other people. I tried back in 2000 (and obviously failed) to overdose on xanax. Apparently, I didn’t take enough. When I woke up I was PISSED. I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks. The last several years of my life have been as far from positive and happy as it can get. Lost my job and after living in another state for 16 years I had to move back in with my parents because I have NO money left. My father will not speak […]
I used to have a few really good friends that i go to school with. They’ve either moved or we’ve had a falling out. Now i’m stuck by myself, with no one to go to… Today was the first day of senior year. It’s supposed to be the best year of your teenage years, right? Well. I could tell you otherwise. I walk in the class.. and i’m alone. Everyone’s in their own little cliques and i’m sitting in the back, alone. I’m not the most outgoing girl ever, i’ve been this way since i can remember… always the “quiet girl”. I didn’t really know […]
Ever since I was born life has never been easy for me.  My mother suffers from a mental Illness, my father was abusive and my uncles where thieves and drug dealers. I can’t remember back to when I was young, but I still have a few very vivid memories. When I was two one of my brothers and one of my sisters passed away. When I was three my mother and father split up.  My sister and 2 brothers and I got put into foster care only a year later. We moved on to abusive carers who beat us and punished us harshly. I remember being […]
I probably don’t seem like I’m going through a lot but to me, I am. Ever since I was a kid i was really emotional, I may have acted sooo tough. But in reality the most littlest things hurt me. I’m a girl btw, and I was one fat ugly girl when i was young. I was always hated ever since I was 6. Everybody in every school I went to always hated me. For some reason and i swear to God i was soo nice and I didn’t talk much,  I still remember I use to have this little doll my cousin made me, and I […]
I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have every anxiety problem in the book. I have manic-depression. I am tripolar. I’m afraid of everything. I’m a hoarder.
There are so many things wrong with me, It’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s even harder to keep them under control. With each passing day, I feel my lucidity and self-control slipping away. The worst of it is, most of it’s genetic.
When I was little, I used to bully my little brother. I had no idea it was wrong, because that’s all people did to me. Eventually, I felt horrible for it, and I prayed that it would […]
Hi my name Is Emily and I’m 15 years old. I was diagnosed with depression about 7 months ago. My life hasn’t been the same since. I was dealing with my sexuality, paranoia, anxiety, OCD, school,anger problems and cutting. This all led to my horrible depression. I was hospitalized around Christmas time because of a strangling attempt. I spent Christmas and New Years Eve in the hospital where I stayed for 18 days. Afterwards I started going to an outpatient day program for kids and teenagers with emotional problem called the CDU which stood for Children’s Day Unit. There i met many good friends especially one. Her […]
I guess this is part my story; maybe just the trigger to my suicidal thoughts.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I might be depressed, stressed, tired, angry. My parents have no clue what goes on in my head. We’ve never been a close family; my parents are seperated, so my dad visits once in a while. My mother likes to get drunk and cry about the seperation. My siblings go out and ignore this living hell we live in. And I’m the one that has to go through the pain we all go through.
I think my insecurities first started in the summer of 2006, […]
Okay, i’m 13 years old. I have to repeat the 7th grade. I would’ve passed it, but i left my school 3 weeks early. That school stressed me out, to the point where i just couldn’t do it. i never wanted to go back there again. i only had about 2-3 friends at the end of the year. i like, pushed everyone away. i don’t even know how. right now, it’s about a month and a half into summer. i moved across town, so i’m going to be starting a new school. i lost connection with all my friends from my previous school, but like […]
Every time I’m drunk I feel deeply suicidal, even if im with good friends or family. I feel my mild depression flares up into clinical depression and im actually ready to make an attempt to end my life when ive had a certain amount of alcohol. The simple answer is to give up drinking but I feel that when im drunk enough, I can make the attempt. Ive never attempted suicide before but I feel its going to happen very soon. Life just isnt working out for me at all, im not built for it… I think too much and thats my problem, every single little […]
I woke up this morning and the first thought that came in to my head, as always, is that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be in this house, in this city, in this country, in my life.
Feeling like this all the time just isn’t normal. There was a time when I was younger I could forget it all, brush off my worries with my friends and alcohol and even when I couldn’t, when it came down to the worse-than-usual days I had my friends to keep me going. I had 3 very good friends back then, 2 neighbours who […]
Today was the first day I ever looked on his website because I used to deny I was depressed but yesterday I was upset about my mom being hard on me and this drama that happened at school and I started cutting. Yesterday it was only with a earring and I didn’t even break the skin but today I used a razer and it feels so sour. I’m always repeating in my head ‘you’re so stupid just f*** off.’ I just always have been feeling worthless ever since one of my exes who was my really good friends before we went out call me a […]
“How Nice To Feel Nothing, and Still Get Full Credit For Being Alive.”
by MilesToGo
written by MilesToGo
That’s a quote from one of my all time favourite novels, Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut. I have plans to get the book’s mantra, ‘so it goes’, tattooed somewhere on my body.
Which, is kind of at odds with posting on a suicide website, isn’t it?
I don’t actually know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if I’m depressed – I’ve never gone to a doctor or a counseller. I think about suicide on a near-daily basis; not in some abstract way, but with regards to methodologies, and having a suicide note on my laptop which I regularly update to correspond with the messages I want […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]
Most people would say I have a pretty average life. I have two married parents and a healthy sister. I don’t have or know everything in fashion, but I do dress decently. I have some acne. My hair frizzes out from time to time. And I have plenty of friends.
But what they don’t know is this. My two married parents talk about divorce. They fight all the time. Even my mom is a recovering alcoholic. My sister may be healthy, but she tells me I don’t deserve to live, nobody likes me. My clothes have to cover my back because the […]
I have a friend at my school. I’ve knew her since sometime in elementary schools, but we’ve only become rather good friends only this year. i feel comfortale telling her thoughts about my life since she also has a lot going on with her family and has counseled many people before me. once in math class many months ago, as i was thinking about life and such, i told her i thought that i was suicidal, though not as seriously suicidal as i am now. since she did not respond, i assumed she didn’t hear me. then, after school, she asked me if i really felt […]
I would like to think myself a normal girl.
I know how to be happy, and I have been, and I know it’s possible to be again. I just don’t know when.
I go through cycles, every time I’m heartbroken, I try to take my life. I quite possibly do have borderline personality disorder.
The last heartbreak was half a year ago, and I can’t seem to get over it.
This time it’s different. I don’t think I want to recover. I don’t want to be heartbroken now, and I don’t ever want to be heartbroken again.
I can’t handle it.
I’ve overdosed 4 times already, been hospitalized 6 times in […]
Hi
The reason im posting this is because i want to get this off my chest.
I’m 15 and have being suicidal for nearly 2 years now. Before the last few months i was’nt serious about suicide but now i am and need to do this.
I’ve lost alot of friends over the last following months basically pushed them away. 11 months ago a girl local commited suicide,it did’nt no her that well but she had tons of friends, she was good looking, i guess she was just depressed like me.I don’t have uch friends, i have a couple who are friends but not close, […]
Well I am nearly there, though it does seem that someone is trying to persuade me to stick around a little longer with some amazing opportunities just landing in my lap this week…
Today 2 years ago I made the hardest decision of my life to discontinue treatment of the person I cared for most, and allow her to die. I know it was the right thing to do, however I think of her every day, and especially now as I near graduation I just see a gap where she would have sat.
I am still of sound mind, and my decision is still logical. With the […]