I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]
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good
I don’t even know if you really like me. You seem to put an unusual amount of effort into trying to talk to me, but maybe that’s just the way you are. Maybe you’re just nice. You are nice. Always. Even when you seem miserable. Not in a shiny, happy, fake way, but a sad, resigned, kind way. You’re probably the most enthusiastic person I know, and you put so much effort into weird little gestures that no one really appreciates. It’s like you actually care or something. I don’t see that often. Sensitive people are rare around here.
I catch myself wanting to stop work and look […]
Nobody cares but I need to vent.
So after summer vacations and in the first week of school I tried to kill myself 2 times with pills, one of those times I got 3 days in hospital. After that I started medication and got a bit better. The friendship with my “best friend” is now in a strange phase. I made mistakes that I regret, he is really ice cold and has been avoiding me. This hurts so much that I am getting bad again. Actually I am good sometimes and bad other times, like a rollercoaster and the new medication I started this month is […]
so I finally admitted defeat.
wife has left and were going through divorce. After three failed attempts at suicide, I’ve today been prescribed sertraline. Does anyone have good or bad experiences of this?
Also anyone here survived divorce. To put mine in context my wife of fourteen years was my school sweetheart and left with my two young kids three months age due to my depression and anxiety. Any tips on how you moved forward?
suicide is on my mind constantly still. My new life in front of me fills me with further depressing thoughts.
I hate my life.
hope you’re all feeling as good as you can be today!
I had several really good days.. Until last night
Today is another day, I can’t shut my brain off, the thoughts circling around in my head I want to die.
Why don’t I just end it because I know how this works, I have a few good days and then they turn bad, very bad. I feel like the good days aren’t even worth living anymore because I never know when my mind is going to switch. I hate everything. I hate living like this. This isn’t a life, it’s just full of pain.
to look around at this world, at the people in it. To see how horrible it has all become, how truly selfish and disgusting people are. I look around in the hopes of finding proof that good exists that there is still love out there somewhere. But the more I look the less I find and the more depressed I become. This world is truly awful and everyday is a battle to not conform to not become as horrible as everything and everyone around me.
I’ve got so good and pretending to be happy I sometimes even fool myself, but then I come to the quick realization that its just a facade and everything hits me a thousand times harder. The strange thing is I feel as if this only happens to me……
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Well, is it?
I can’t wrap my mind around this. You hear christians talk about heaven. Oh such a glorious place, no more pain, no more worries, no hunger, no anything but good.
So if heaven is all that…………..is it wrong to want to go there? Why would anyone not want to go there? Is it a real place?
it’s never ending .
I feel my self getting worse and worse every day.
I woke up sort of feeling good today . I wanted to kill my self this weekend but I didn’t. I feel selfish for wanting to give up my life , but I don’t know how to turn the pain off.
I went to my dental a class today and I feel like I’ve lost interest . I loose interest in everything. I’m not good at anything and I don’t really mean much to anyone . I haven’t made a impact . Everyone eventually fades out of my life .
Everyday I wake up with […]
I still want to kill myself. Good timing since my birthday is coming up. I wonder if there’s such thing as a best place to off yourself, as in a certain city, town or state that it’s just easy to do it in? I shouldn’t be fucking yelled at and treated like shit. Two god damn days of living in the city and it’s a pain in his ass to even talk to me and he has the fucking nerve to yell at me and be pissed!?!? I’m done, I’m out, I can’t fucking take another god damned fucking day!!!!
And I got my answer from […]
It’s over.
I won’t deny it
I’m so sorry
I hurt you
I did so many things
Not all of them good
You have every right
You should
I never said sorry
I’m so afraid
I’m so sorry
I can’t leave
I wish you happiness
Everything I couldn’t give
All I ever tried
Every little part of me
They all died
I wish could understand
I wish I could be yours
And You could be mine
You’re beautiful
I’m ugly
On the inside
You are free
Please don’t cry
Please don’t say goodbye
But most of all
Don’t you lie
And say you want
To see me tomorrow
I have had a horrible day. I’m laying in bed with my method beside me. Today a guy sent me a message asking for nudes. When I wouldn’t send I was sent a message saying “alright fatty, whatever you need Jesus”. People are so cruel and I can barley keep my head above water on a good day and on a bad day I want it to end and tonight I am trying to list every reason I shouldn’t end it. I will never just be a good enough person for anyone.
9 months has passed, the baby was ready to be born. The mother went to the hospital and the amniotic liquid started running through out her legs. The doctor called her, come on, go to bed, everything will be alright.
The mother is worried, she is not feeling the baby movements. She looked down her tummy and felt it empty. There are other people around her, everybody is telling her that she is ok, she just need to be patience and wait for the long hours of labors. But she is insisting, please, he is a good doctor, but I trust more my doctor from the […]
That I am going to kill myself in the home I grew up in. No way. Not now. Not ever. I can’t be such a shame to my family especially my dear mother who I love so much. I know things have been rough on us all since Dad passed and I would never want to add anymore to grieving. I’ll be that good son you always wanted me to be, and I promise I won’t be a corpse that you’ll have to come and identify. There is not going to be any trace left of me. I don’t want a funeral, I just need […]
I’m Sorry
I just want to start this off, by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you in the past, and for all the terrible things I’ve done to you. I can understand if you hate me. It’d be a lie for me to say that I’d be okay with that, or able to accept it, but when I say I’d understand I mean it. I’m sorry for having feelings for you this summer, and complicating things between you and C, I’m sorry for kissing you, I’m sorry for being overly dependent on you, I’m sorry for trying to kiss you […]
still thinking about him, that’s not gonna stop… ;-; but it’s been a good birthday ig
Let me explain, lately I’ve been having an issue with my compulsive disorder coming back, along with my depression. Thing, is I’m confused as all hell because there’s been no major event to bring about such a radical change in my mental state. I mean, I’ve studied this disorder for a few years now and I’ve gotten a basic understanding on what “kind” I have. Mine was inherited but a major event that happened a few years ago caused a downward spiral to serious depression. Same with my compulsive disorder. I’ve studied well enough to know that another cause besides inheriting a predisposition towards depressive […]
my mother has hated me ever since she got with her boyfriend. together they gang up on me, and it’s like I can’t escape them. I just can’t take it anymore. I want to kill myself, but I want to make it painless. What are good methods that I could use to make it as painless as possible?