I get a bunch of crap from a lot of people. I have been hurt all my life… I never got used to it. My dad calls me crap, tells me I’m not worth a place on Earth. My mom shoves God down my throat 24/7. My brother makes jokes about suicide a lot. I have to lie to my family, act like everything is fine. I told my grandma about my friends cutting to see what she thinks about cutting before I told her that I do it. She responded ” Oh My God, why would anyone cut, Â Its so disgusting.” I ended up […]
Tag:
Grandma
Sometimes i wanna take the easy way out. Like my Dad. When i was little i used to be so lonley and small, i used to try to semerge myself in the tub and hope i wouldnt give up,and come up for air. I used to yell into my pillow, cry but not just cry.. Soul cry. I like to write alot, hope to make it a Career so, listen up. See, 64 year olds they get a little crazy at that age. My grandma is a old winkley ***** that you just wanna punch in the face because she doesnt hear stuff right and […]
In all my life, I’ve been strong, my father died, my mom left me, I had eating disorders. And I got over everything, but now I just can’t anymore! My grandma doen’t talks to me because Iof his brother, he almos raped me! And she doen’t even know, and if I told her, she wouldn’t believe me cause she loves him more than she loves me she trusts him, he told her I was rude, liar, and that I was on drugs, and she believed, now looks like I’ve been kicked from my own famil. So, I had to move (I left my soulmate in […]
I’m so sick of people acting like they know me…. They don’t. They think they do but they don’t. And I really just need someone to know my story. Sometimes it’s comferting knowing someone has your story.
It started when I was 4…. my parents got divorced. When I was 5 my dog died… no big deal right? Wrong. I was 5, my dog was my best friend. When I was in 2nd grade me and my mom moved to Tennessee over the summer. I thought we were just staying for the summer. No. We were moving… To get away from my dad. Since […]
Drove my grandma and I to my grandpa’s grave today.
It’s been 8 years..
I lost the closet person I had..
I was the first grand child he help.
He called me his little girl.
We went camping together.
Called me his ole’ hoot owl(:
And his pookey(:
He was my world.
Looking into his eyes, I know I’d always be safe<3
But God took him away from me…Just when I was 9..
He had stage four, skin cancer.
I remember the purple spots all over his body..
And me […]
I’m 17 Â years old and i really want to die right now. As a child i was sexually abused by my uncle. My dad is a jerk. My mom is a control freak. She wants me to do things that I don’t love. I even cried in front of her for like 10x already. I begged her many times that I really want to do what I love. They are all the same my grandma, uncles, aunts. My friends they just love me for my money. I was bullied in school for being ugly. I have low self esteem. I really want to make some […]
I’m so glad that I found this site. It’s perfect. Things have been really fucked up as of lately. My depression and disordered eating that began in 6th grade have crept back into my life somehow. Causing me to get in fights with friends, family, myself. I’ve had suicidal thoughts every single day, just like old times. But something new is that I see scary images. But this has been happening since summer/the end of last year. Like for an example, whenever I close my eyes I see blood or a man with an ax in his head laying on the ground bleeding, or when I’m in […]
im ALONE in a Place full of people.
My Grandmother tried to commit Suicide now she is in a mental health hospital, the same one i have been in 3 times. Â ive never seen my grandma like that it tore open something i was trying to put away for sooo long, i have cutt agian. suicide is a option!
if i Could be Turned back & start everything over i would. i hate myself for making my grandmother feeling the way she does.
Rope, or Pills????
So this is probably going to sound dumb but I’m extremely depressed over my recent break up I don’t want to go into details because I feel it won’t help. After my break up things began to get worse, I found out my grandma is very sick and is getting worse each month and there’s nothing I can do for her at all, can’t even see her. I haven’t been able to make enough money to stay in school and financial aid keeps denying me, my friends just don’t seem to understand my struggles in my life and kind of seemed annoyed that I keep bringing certain things up. I also feel like […]
In October of last year, I was going to hang myself. I was living over six hours away at school. No one I knew there. Grades dropped to an all time low. Before I could do it, my mother withdrew me and brought me home, yelling the most obscene things at me. She knew nothing of my self harm or plans, and she made me feel like worse shit than I am. I went to the local high school again. Things got worse, but also better. I got a girlfriend. A good friend of mine died. So did my grandpa. I can’t bear to outlive […]
Okay so here the turth im not a virgin even though everyone in my family thinks i am so i was 13 when i was put on birth control because my grandma thought i should be incase and she thought i was a virgin but i was then about a month later i was at school and started cramping really bad so i go to the nurses off then she call my grandma and tells her she thinks im having a miscarrge my grandma cursed her out the turth is it was true i didnt know i was preg and i was young and stuipd […]
For 3 years now I have really liked this guy. (gonna call him Bob) I got his number at a party and started texting him. We wrote notes to eachother, went to movies, and the last few months he would come over so we could hang out. He considers us to be best friends, and tells me how crazy he is over this girl he works with. I want him to be happy, even if that means im not in the picture. But listening to him talk about other girls kills me and im too scared to tell him… Â I broke up with my first […]
From what ive read here, my life is the best life on earth, but it isnt.
When i was 5 my parents sent to a special school, for smart children. Every year i begged them to get me out of it, but they didnt. I was a smart kid, one of the best in my class, but i never really fit in to it, they all wanted to study, since we were 5, and become doctors, scientists and so, i never did, i always wanted to perform, to dance, but my dad always laughed at me and my mom joined him so my confidence got really […]
My grandparents are still trying to control my life from here. They told me before I came down here that I can see my dad in California if he pays for it. Now they say they will do anything they can to prevent it. Now the’ve found out I want to try to get a GED this summer and will do anything to keep me in school. Usually IÂ would let that put me down but strangely I’m more motivated than I’ve ever been. I just got out of middle school and I’m gonna try for my GED this summer. I want to show them up. […]
Hello, I’m marissa and I’m suicidal, achoolic, drug addict, and anorexic. I’m 14 and I drink and do drugs every night. I make myself puke 3 times a day. I have suicidal thoughts every night.
I live with my mom and her husband(sadly my step dad) I’m verbaly abused by both of them everyday. I was several times physical. I have no control over my life. I’ve tried to runaway but I always get caught. I’ve tried to take my life but always get talked out.
My father wasn’t there at my birth and was really never there for me. He moved to Florida when […]
I’m a christian. I love God with all my being, but i always wonder to myself why I’m here. My life is a miserable wreck. I’m fat and ugly. I’m not “popular”. I have almost no friends. My family is way messed up. My Dad doesn’t give a crap about me and my step mom is a snobby psycho. My sister is moved in with us for reasons I have no right to explain. My sisters daughter is everything I’m not and makes me feel jealous everyday, my little brother is a major douche bag and is probably going to end up caught […]
Woke up from a very disturbing nightmare, into this life that is a nightmare that i live in. Even with my daughter waking up beside me it still cant save me from the brutal reality. I live with my grandparents still,. my grandma has fibromialgia, depression, and barely talks to me, i hate her, im trying to watch Bella and shes sleeping on the couch, i asked her to move she wouldnt, said she wasnt like “sleep sleeping” lol *****. I fucking hate her, i know she heard me screaming this morning as i woke up, i seen her, she said nothing. Ill do it […]
Since my last boyfriend broke up with me, I deal with suicidal thoughts. There are times that I am happy, but they are really short. It looks like every boy I love and loves me back, just replace me for someone else. It really hurts and even though they say I’m so nice and I will find someone else, I never find someone. To make things ever worse; my granddad and grandma died. And my uncle is going to die as well. People at school know a bit of my problems. But not everything. I don’t want them to help me. I’m a big girl. […]
I am fifteen and up until recently my life was fine. I was already depressed but I didn’t have any problems with my life. I know I’m talked about and picked on at school but I didn’t realize how much until after the big event that ruined my life. I know others don’t know that I’m any weaker and more vulnerable than before but I feel like the talking about me and messing with me has gotten a lot worse since my mom moved away. I didn’t have much of a choice but to stay here with my grandparents and my sister. My sister has […]
I almost made it 28 yrs ago when I felt the world had given up on me or maybe I had given up on the world i don’t know any more I was 24 just had my 3rd son and in my 2nd marriage my first one was abusive , I finally got out. now my husband had left me with a newborn . my family no help said i was crazy like my Grandma I cryed so much that no tears came any more just the empy feeling nobody loved me nobody cared the world would be better off with me gone,I took the […]