im in my room with a razor and a crap load of pills 🙁 my only thought which to do first.
Tag:
Guess
Well, I guess my story starts from the day that I was born. My mother, so I’ve been told, started drinking around the age of twelve. She was from an extremely abusive household and I figure she needed something to get her mind off of it. I don’t hold it against her. Anyway, she had about seven kids with a different man every time all over the United States and dropped us with the fathers. She committed suicide when I was about ten, not that it mattered. I never met the women and I don’t really care to.
My father also had a very, very, […]
I discovered this site yesterday through Google or something, I can’t really remember. Immediately, I thought I should become a part of it, whether to just help myself or to help anyone who needs it.
I would really like an online friend or something. Just someone I could speak to about all the difficult times and the things I’m thinking or feeling, and they could do the same. I could tell them all these things and it wouldn’t matter too much because I wouldn’t have to see them in person and have awkward polite conversation.
I’m not the person to speak to if you wish to just […]
I’ve been checking this site out for a long, long time. I’ve led a miserable life, anytime I’ve gotten close to ending things I’ve always found a way out. Now, I’ve gotten to the point that I’m tired of trying to figure things out, I’m tired of the unexpected, and I’m tired of the self-destruction. I’ve always been able to hide any problems I’ve faced, issues I’ve dealt with, people around me seem to think I live a “perfect” life. If they only knew the truth, would they still be there?
I have it all planned out. I have letters written to those that mean the […]
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I’m new here. Â Not too fond of social networks, though could this be called one? Â I guess, in some respects. Â That being said, I probably won’t be around often, not that anyone would really care since none of you know me anyway. Â I’m not really into divulging much about my personal life, but it’s never been easy. Â My mother is wacky to say the least, my dad is equally as wacky, and my sister is taking after them. Â Not that I’m not wacky, but I just don’t have the energy to 3v1 them. Â Most of the time, I’m either doing my homework or playing video […]
I have thought and battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that while I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and who I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life that I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.
Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me […]
I’m sick of being everyone’s second choice – everyone’s shoulder to cry on.
You can’t use me when it’s convenient for you.
I feel like I was born and bred to be a shoulder to cry on… And I spend almost all my time alone trying to comfort myself.
If anyone needs a shoulder to cry on, I guess I’m here… Here to be convenient for you. I know you won’t appreciate it, but you’re welcome.
You know I’m going to be here, even when I don’t want to be. Because I’m predictable.
🙂
Have you ever had a moment where you’re just thinking, not about anything in particular.. and those innocent thoughts take a nasty turn? Next thing you know you’re talking yourself out of hurting yourself. Moments of insanity I like to call them. When something in your head shifts ever so slightly and everything you’ve stuffed and hidden inside for twenty years tries to get out? It over loads the brain and you just want to make it stop. You’d do anything for the memories and the pain to leave.
I’ve never been able to fully tell anyone the whole story. Why not a bunch of random […]
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
I guess I should start with a statement of “I know that I”m a really lucky person, and life, while not perfect, had been nice to me.” I am born in a really developed country, and have so many benefits that many other countries doesn’t have. I am gifted and loved by god in many ways (learned how to read a language through watching TV, drawings that had won numerous awards and got me a 60,000 scholarship money, performed dance for the Winter Olympics, top three in my school, an hourglass figure, decent face, and healthy body with no mutations…etc.) But I don’t see a […]
Hi all, in a way I not to sure what led me to this site, i guess I’m just looking for a place to vent how i feel without feeling like I’m “bringing people down” or in need of “growing up”.
I don’t really now where to start, kind of like how my life feels, just lost and floating around hoping for things to change or just get easier, lately iv felt so down i don’t know how to get back to feeling “OK”, I feel like i wake up each day expecting things to change but then i lie my head down at night and […]
My one friend left doesn’t live anywhere near me. I was supposed to spend the weekend at her house, and to be honest I couldn’t wait because I needed to tall her everything that’s been going on with me emotionally– she was the last thing keeping me from going over the edge. She just told me that lots of people are going to be at her house this weekend. I guess its a combination of my social anxiety and the fact that when Im around new and many people its just gives me depression meltdowns where I can’t even do anything about them, and just […]
Okay. Hi. I don’t know what posting here will do, I think I’d just like to share my thoughts on this somewhere. I’ll cover the steps I’ve taken, the thoughts I’ve idled over and my plan.
For my own reasons (which I won’t share, I’m not here to do that) I have decided that I am going to die. I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and death, and am okay with that decision. It has been in the works for a number of years. I have doubts, which I’ll cover, because anyone who can say they’re facing a big decision with no doubt is […]
I can never be myself around people. Whenever I’m with my best friends I think I’m myself but as soon as I get home from being with them I start to hate myself. They seem to think of me as clown with no life. Throughout my life people have always looked at me like I was pathetic and enable to do anything. I wanna change but whenever I try I can’t, I feel like its to late to do anything in my life. It feels like I have no purpose of being here. I guess I wanna know if I’m a mistake.
Im 24 years old, married, a mother of two, and i have been suicidal since the age of 12. I attempted many times, been hospitalized, been on any med you can think of, and i still cant pull myself out of this. Truth is, i love my husband, but our relationship was abusive in the past, i developed PTSD. Also coupled with molestation as a child, i have alot of anxiety. I have also discovered that i have been in love with a long time friend for a long time. I sleep with him on occasion, and i just want to stay there. Like i […]
I have tried just about everything. I started trying when I was seven years old and have not been successful this far. I am 42 and am in chronic pain. My health is failing which as you could imagine makes one very depressed. As for the gun shot I didn’t try it myself my brother did it for me. At seven I received a gun shot directly into the eye and spent six months in the hospital. I lost an eye over it and a lifetime of pain. Today my health is failing because of the damage that gun did to me all those years […]
So I just read all my old posts and sent them to a friend she is very supportive and I feel better. My old posts made me feel the hopelessness and a little taste of everything i was/am feeling. I realized some things. The only time i feel like im free from my depression is when i shove it deep down into myself, but eventually it overflows. i wanted this to be longer because i have a lot to say but maybe another time. the point is depression is like my scars they never fully go away. Example: I have been feeling complete and unbearable […]
i don’t know…i guess to talk to about my problems. Well, not really talk about my problems because i highly doubt people will read the crap i post. I guess just to vent? I don’t know man. I just feel like shit. Yup yup yup.
So I’ve been suffering from depression for a little over 3 years now. My Girlfriend of two years broke up with me well over a year ago. Sob story blah blah. When that happened I threatened suicide, cops, recovery ward for a week. A couple months later, police again, suicide ward. That was over a year ago. Today, and I am not shitting you I decided my life was finally just about turned around. This of course was a slow moving process. Very… Slow. Guess what happens a few hours ago? She texts me! I’m finally about over this and she texts me! After a […]
I swear I’m a danger to other people. Everyone that means something to me, that I truly love with all my heart, gets hurt because of me. I don’t intentionally hurt anyone. I’m not that kind of person. But something bad always seems to happen to people that try to help me. It occurred numerous times in the past. And it just keeps coming.
This past week has been terrible. I wanna keep going; I just don’t know how anymore. I don’t want to invite anyone else into my life. I can’t take it anymore. I’m beyond saving at this point there is no use in […]