what a life i have. my parents with there sharp tongues and quick jokes. such bullshit they know the impact they have on me its ridicilous i honestly dont know how ive made it this far. and to think when i was 9 years old being called a mother fucked by your own mother who didnt care who didnt think that would do anything to her son. what stopped me from pulling that knife quick across my throat, there are good things in this world but in my case they come rare and often stay short. bits of happiness for me was looking at the […]
Tag:
Happiness
all i can think about lately is ending my life. these thoughts went away for awhile. i used to have them all the time when i was little, probably about 7 or 8. i don’t know why i’ve never been able to have happiness. the clues are that my mom worked all the time and i never knew my dad. i didn’t have friends or family growing up. i was very much a loner. i was raped when i was in high school and again, a few years ago. it’s my own fault both times–drinking and being around people who don’t care about you at […]
I’m done with this site all it has done is give me false hope for happiness when the only way i’ll be happy is if im away from every one except for my future wife i feel she believes i dont love her and that im talking to nothing but girls so this is the last time you’ll here from me Goodnight to all
I’m a afraid i’ll cry. I might just do it just want to die i can’t escape no matter how hard i try i’m trapped in a insane place of no hope. i mope around hoping i’ll find happiness but theres no comments w
hen I stand in the park smoking, my last cigarette every whisper I can hear is about me. People think I’m a suicidal basket case! I stand in the dry blistering wind sulking in my deep deep sorrows for no one cares. I look in the mirror and feel like puking.
I feel as though i’m wearing a mask and no matter how much I want 2 I can’t b completely honest with anyone including my family and friends. I fake a smile and a laugh wen they’re catching on 2 me but it’s all a lie like I’m hiding behide a mask of fake happiness and I just can’t take it anymore I’m sick of lying. Y should I live a life filled with lies it feels fake like the mask. I feel like all of my emotion has been taken away and filled with emptiness.
do you know that feeling of pure happiness, when you think everything is going to be ok…. i do…. it happens every morning when i wake up, but night i have fallen back, back into to this never ending loop of hate, i hate myself… people hate me… and well you get the point. I have been called day and night, werewolf, and other things of that nature by the few i can actually trust.  i am so sick of that, being happy just to know you will fall again.
Â
I have become hazy and numb…. i just don’t know what to do anymore….
I used to be happy.
When I was young I had the perfect family, and together we resided in a great neighborhood. We even had a picket fence(well, it wasn’t ours, it belonged to our neighbors, but still it was there, next to our house.) I did get teased a lot in school for being shy and for my poor fashion choices, but my happy life at home and the few good friends I had seemed to atone for all that negativity, so I wasn’t sad that often.
But then, in the year 2002 we could no longer afford to live in our house-the landlord had raised […]
i have found happiness in praising Loki, the norse god of mischief; and you can, too.
Hello to all readers,
I am an aussie uni student and am researching the topic of suicide for a presentation tomorrow. I have read many of the posts submited to try and gain some insight into the topic and could’nt help but feel so deeply saddened by what I’ve come across. Saddened mainly because many of the people that have submitted posts appear to all have one thing in common. That is that they seem to feel that they are less worthy of life and happiness than others. Happiness is not designed to be complicated and illusive. Everyone is entitled to be here, that is why you are here in the […]
Put yourself in my shoes and see what you would do.. in all honestly. I’ll take your opinions into account and within 20 days I’ll either be still alive or dead.
Â
Ok.. My name is Ollie and the only thing good in my life is my beloved grandma. she lives out in the country with 16 dogs and kennels she has alot of land and we love each other so much. I go out once a week on a saturday when i’m not at school (i’m 13) and occasionaly dont go becuase shes showing but if its local i go with her. The bad things.. I’m […]
ok i know this sounds cheesy but i want a guy, not any guy i want a guy who will like know how i’m feeling because it kills me that i can fake happiness so well, and people either believe me or just don’t care. High school is a horrible place to find a boy friend… especially mine. And all of my friends have boy friends, and well its odd but im friends with them as well. Now don’t get me wrong i in no way want their boy friends, but i see how happy they are, and im just sick of being alone, and sad.
I will make this quick because I’m preparing to die any minute. I’ve become so fed up with the world—with all the people who said they’d be there for me when I needed them. I’ve fought with depression for years and its finally got the better of me. I sit here writing this feeling myself drift in and out of consciousness after taking 12 Oxycodon pills and slitting my wrist and I’m kind of upset I’m getting blood all over my keyboard. The love of my life doesn’t love me, isn’t that a pity party everyone goes through? Only I’m not sure people truly understand […]
I’m 23, gay male and miserable a good deal of the time. I feel like I have no right to be so unhappy when I have so much going for me, but rather than feel guilty, I feel like, it’s not fare. Why would someone, God, Fate, Karma, whatever, give me so much to enjoy and so little capacity to enjoy it. I walked home alone tonight from a big drag show where everyone was having a good time. On the way out the door, I cheerily said goodbye to five friends, two of my therapists and the boy I’m in love with, who only […]
i dont have many friends, i have a few friends that i talk to at school but i cant really rely on them, theirs only 2 friend in my life that i can acctually talk to about things and trust they wont tell any one, but i only see one of them at school and the other 1 dont see i just talk to her on msn now and again but thats it and her life is fucked up her step dad kicked her out theirs no room at her mums so she’s staying at her sisters but her sister only lets her stay their if she luks […]
Ok then, I don’t suppose there is much point me lying anymore. I do that a lot, lying, it always seems to be the best way to continue without actually living or letting anything out. The problem is I want to live, I don’t want to be one of these people that just pretends to be someone else and never feels true emotion. I suppose it’s easy, I should know I’ve been doing it for the fourteen years of my life. But these days I just feel myself wanting to scream and breakdown, I don’t want to put a brave face on it; I […]
Life.The last couple of days have seen the spawning of a journey out of the abyss. So much deep emotion, (confusion, anger, fear, and hopelessness) was building up and needed to be released into the atmosphere. I still think about those things (meaninglessless, conditional love, my mistakes, my future) but when I feel myself slipping asunder, I mentally create a hypothetical situation that I know would be 100% unbearable, then measure how much worse it is than my present state.
I talk to the Universe, thanking it for taking care of the souls who have departed, praying for their happiness.Then I ponder on things completely unrelated […]
Older Posts