Today I’m struggling. I’m struggling to find the good. I’m so tired of feeling tired and fighting through this life. Everything seems so difficult. I want a job, but my emotions are holding me back. I want to have the happily every after with my boyfriend, but it’s like we’re in this revolving cycle that doesn’t quit. I want my mom to be happy and it’s so hard to see her struggle everyday. It’s hard to know that she wants good things for me, but brings up things in the past that I feel so terrible about that I don’t want to face what I […]
Tag:
Happiness
A bit of personal history: I was once a top student in my Primary school and was subsequently admitted to a Secondary school of repute. I can say that this is the heyday of my life. Things starts to get sour in my third year and confidence in my ability seemed to drain away when I failed consistently to score despite all my efforts. No matter how hard I try, I just could not get it. It is the feeling of ‘I worked so hard but got so little while others have it made for them with brighter minds. It is so unfair that anyone […]
Yesterday I went for a walk, somehow I felt a little better. I saw some horses and watched them for awhile. Walked in the rain, but it felt good, at least it made me feel. But last night I looked on the internet and there is so much – so much of the opposite of what I’ve always thought was beautiful. Gentleness, tenderness, sweetness, paintings that move you deep inside, someone that would help a neighbor, little children being allowed to be innocent, dreams, words that carry weight, words that mean something. I start to think I wish something had happened to me awhile ago, […]
Life is just so hard.. I don’t understand how anyone can do it with a genuine smile on their face. Do people really truly feel happiness? My life really isn’t that bad, I have both my parents who care about me, a loving boyfriend, and am currently in high school. It’s just that everyday is a struggle.. I wake up in the morning with such an empty feeling, like a hole in my heart, and I wish I could just sleep and never wake up again. I feel so alone.. I just want someone to talk to.. But even if someone is there willing to […]
I start to realize more and more that I’ll never be happy. Also IF therapy I get now WILL work, I’m not happy. Because the thing that makes me happy, also makes me really unhappy, and if I’m unhappy and down, I want to be happy, do the thing that makes me happy, but I also get more unhappy. The unhappiness also stays longer than the happiness, which is also not really happy, but happier than the unhappiness. Hope you guys still follow me ;P. It’s a little bit difficult, also to explain. Maybe this poem will help me to explain it better:
~My outside is […]
Take another step dear,
take another breath dear,
bow to your fans dear,
and poof, you disappear dear.
Take another shot hun,
Drink until your numb, hun.
It’s all a buncha fun,
Bam, shouts the gun!
Buy a bikini, dear
and make it pretty, dear.
wear waterproof makeup dear,
cause you wanna look good, dear.
now jump in the water hun,
let it take away the pain, hun
and Done done done, hun,
you’re done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I havn’t written a poem or song for a while. I guess because things have been okay since since last monday, I started going downhill again, I have a […]
This is my story about how i had my heart broken a couple of times. it soon spawned a fear of abandonment in me and made me think i was never good enough. if you wish to hear how i survived my hardship then please read this.
I was born different from other kids. i chose not to give in to the social flow and i  lived how i felt. i had friends, a pretty good amount. i fell in love many times and had a few relationships. I grew up being who i felt was me. Sometime around the summer of 2012 about early June, […]
How do you tell someone that they’re the reason? How do you explain to them that they need to stop, and think about the things they say to you before it’s too late?
I wouldn’t say I’m completely past the point of suicidal thoughts, I wish I were. But I’m definitely not past the point of looking for jobs in foreign countries and fantasizing about packing up everything and just vanishing.
Do loved ones even realize the effect they truly have on us? Do they understand anything about how our minds work?
I feel like I’ve told them a thousand times about how sad I […]
If I were to be honest for a change and told you what was inside me. All the demons I fight every day. How much regret I have for everything I have done. If I told you that I want to kill myself. Would you understand? Probably not. Everyone looks at me like I’m insane. All the scars on my arms and legs it reminds me that my past is real. Every day I look in the mirror and hate what I see not just the outside the inside too I feel so ugly. I’m full of anger and sadness. I’m deprived from happiness. I […]
I kinda made this profile because I wanted to tell someone my life story… And I don’t have anyone close to me that I want to share it with. So I am writing it here, anonymously.
But let’s take it from the beginning:
I’m a boy from Denmark, 19 years old at the moment, but that is not where my story starts. My story starts all the way back when I was a child. You see, I have always been bullied, first by the bigger kids in my kindergarten, then by the kids in my class in school. Therefore my parents quickly decided to teach me […]
I just wanna say Wow. And I wanna hold my breathe and I wanna pinch myself cause I must be dreaming. Today my mom tried to choke me, and my sister broke it up. We called the cops and my mom was charged with Agrivated Assault and Domestic Violence and will be attending court Monday or Tuesday morning. After and during this thing is over she will never be eve to see me again. And also there was enough picture take , my neck was bruised. So minus my neck Im proud to say things are looking up   higurashi no naku koro ni dear […]
Hello everyone, firstly let me say I just happened to drift onto this site in a rather accidental manner. And, upon reading some of your stories, I must say for not believing in yourselves, you are a extremely courageous and inspiring lot. I say this because you have shattered a costly visage that I, unwillingly, feel it is constantly my duty to maintain. Forgive me for being verbose, it is just I rarely speak about matters so personal in nature. Also, I shall try not to give you my life story but I feel like you deserve to know a bit more about the man […]
After typing up a ridiculously long post yesterday, I felt better. I actually did, the writing seemed to flow out from my very soul and the pain diminished. However, that only lasted for a few hours.
And then the urges came again, you know the ones. The one that tells you to end it, not for yourself but for those around you. You are not worthy of their love, all you’re doing is dragging them down with you. They don’t deserve this. The last one, I’ll admit. They do not deserve this. And that’s why they don’t know the full extent of my depressive state.
Instead of […]
Life is full of misconceptions and expectations that are all the same or similar in every functional community, we are taught the structure and repetition, the same values and the same ethics… what we are not taught is how short life is, what life real values are, instead we are masked with these green slips of paper that are more label more valuable then life, or even for life. Instead we are blinded from true the happiness, with a key to unlock are true identity.
happiness is a deceptions that we constantly misjudge for cure when really its a short term defect…
Sometimes I wake up, lay in bed and just think I want to die then spend the next couple of hours thinking about how to do so. Sometimes I wake up and feel a little hope. And sometimes I wake up and I can’t help but think of last nights nightmare. My dreams are so uncomfortable and horribly vivid. They’re so vivid that I think about my dreams through out the whole day because they’re so uncomfortably real that I feel like it happened… Anyways throughout the whole day I’m just an emotional roller coaster I’m fine, I’m sad, I’m crazy, I’m hopeful (this is […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
I come here tonight to freely express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being judged and with the hope that someone out there may understand. Okay ….let’s be honest, there’s still a shit load of fear, but I say fuck it.
I’m still having quite a rough time. My depression is weighing heavy in my head. Can barely lift it up. My isolation is at an all time high. The majority of my  “friends” are occupied anyway. I don’t feel like I have any true friends. But I’m sure my isolation had a big part in that. I just have no drive. I’m afraid […]
Everything builds character they say, every little gripe and suffocation of my personal image will just mean something more in the end. I will transcend and be greater for it. What I wouldn’t trade a bit of “character” for something resembling happiness. I am 27 and still unsure of what I am here to do every little path that i stray across simply ends with me holding the bags and the jackals growing all he louder. I know that since most humans are wrapped in their own egos, which is not a condemnation of such because it is a natural thing and should be embraced, that they see suicide as something that more or less pertains to them. So when […]
I am not a wall
I am not a door,
Why is it okay for me to always be ignored?
Lack of importance, lack of self-respect
Suicide conquers alot of people,
please let me be the next.
Day by day,Night by niight
No more battling
I can’t win this fight.
Scars are there to remind me, how I used to feel,
but I take a step back to look,
nothing seems to be real.
I go through the motions,
every fucking day,
but when you ask me what’s wrong,
I don’t know what to say.
Darkness is around me,
everywhere I turn,
Happiness is what […]