i hate myself. i despise myself. out of everyone in the world, its me i hate the most. and i hate myself for feeling this way.
i live with my single mom because my dad cheated on her when i was six. yeah im still in highschool and my problems right now are so insignificant compared to others in the world.
i wish i was pretty. i hate the way i look. i wish i could cut off my fat with a knife. i wish i could cut into my eyelid to change my eye shape. i hate myself for this. my mom […]
Sometimes I do things without thinking. I hate myself for doing it.
Sometimes I say things without thinking. I hate myself for saying it.
I let myself fall for you. I hate myself for letting me fall.
I knew I wasn’t ready. I knew it. I hate myself for having emotions.
I hate that I love you.
I hate that I still love you.
Even after you hurt me.
I still love you.
Even after all you put me though.
I still love you.
One time I fell in love. I hate myself for falling.
I could say that im stuck between moving back home and stay here and going to a shelter but im not. I don’t want to run back home after you hurt me for the millionth time…again i believed your lies at first. Then i knew they where lies but hoped maybe its not a lie this time. You say we can work it out but you cause me pain.. I dont hurt you.. If we switched roles.. If i lied throughout our whole relationship..maybe you would understand. Being with you adding more things to the list that triggers my ptsd. I hate myself for loving […]
I just want to die. I feel so tired of everything. I can’t find any reason to live. I feel miserable. I can’t describe how I hate myself.
I don’t know what I am. Is that bad? Last time I posted on here I could’ve easily said I was depressed beyond belief. Hell, I was seriously contemplating suicide. However, I don’t like self-diagnosing. So now I suppose I could say I am unbelievably sad.
But alas, I am even confused about that! Today was a fabulous day; it wasn’t raining for Pete’s sake! I also had a solo performance today, which I got a 2 on. A 2 is great. 1 is best, 5 is worst. Whilst that all happened and made me feel warm and phenomenal inside, I can’t help but feel sad […]
It’s been so long since I’ve written. So glad to be back with my family. Have you ever just sought comfort from a stranger? I know I have.
A lot had happened.
Me and Brice (love of my life) went out…once again. He ended up not talking to me for 2 whole weeks. Then he said he never wanted to talk to me again. I once again wrote my suicide letter, thinking I had nothing more to live for. I think it was the 6th time. But anyways he eventually ended up talking to me again. We still talk. Everything is not solved and I’ve promised so […]
I have made the BIGGEST MISTAKE IN MY LIFE!! I NOW JUST WANT TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT HE WILL WANT ME TO AS WELL!!… I KNOW HE FUCKING HATES ME AND WHAT IV’E DONEWILL MAKE HIM WANT ME DEAD… I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL WEHNT THOUGH MY MIND…. IT’S TO DO WITH THE DARK LORD…. THE BOY I CAUSED SO MUCH DRAMA FOR, TWO YEARS!! AND I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO COPE BUT NO, I’VE MADE IT A HUNDRED AND TEN FUCKING PERCENT WORSE!!! I NEED TO DIE, I CANT FACE HIM, HE HATES ME AND ALL HIS FRIENDS WILL […]
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