“Endurance” what does endurance mean? Hi everyone! I’m new to this site, but I’m sure we are all here for the same reason. We have suicidal thoughts or have actually attempted to take our life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 9. At age 11 I was diagnosed with depression. I was never abused nor was I bullied in school, but I was always lonley when it came to socialize with others, I never thought that being alone was a bad thing. I actually liked being alone, but I came to realize that I had no friends. I have a family who cares A […]
Tag:
hated
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I myself love to be hated! 37, have TBI from a motorcycle accident at 33. Hate coming here but I do daily to see how others are worse off than I. I thrive on booze, weed and some occasional blow. Oh and tattoos when I can afford them (disability pays shit) whatever, I do not expect anyone to give a fuck about my whoes however I sleep next to a loaded gun every night, don’t have the balls to turn it on myself but hope for a confrontation with whomever (cops preferably) for murder/suicide. Don’t expect anyone to give a shit, haven’t seen ***** […]
have you ever hated someone so much that you wanted nothing more than to watch them die a slow and horrible death…
have you ever felt like there was no reason to let that person continue to live…
have you ever thought that maybe that person deserves to die…
have you ever hated yourself?
I will never understand why I did it, but I did. I let him take control of me, & I let him take all of me. He took away all of the innocence that I had. I was 13 at the time, & he was 24. I knew it was wrong, & I have hated myself for it ever since, but I let him sleep with me. I don’t even know if I gave consent anymore. Not because I regret it, but because of me being so young & looking up to him. Did he just manipulate me, or did I give consent? I don’t […]
I’m not used to being hated by everyone around me, everyone in my life. It fucking sucks. It also feels weird being totally alone; no one to talk to, no one to care about me, no one for me to care for. Typically, people love me and I’m lauded over my awesome personality and just overall likeable qualities. That’s not my own ego speaking. I literally would have at least one person a day at a very minimum go out of their way to express there admiration of one of my traits. But once again I’ve hit rock bottom and this time the […]
Ive always felt like shit, always felt hated and ive always craved attention and i hate myself so bad for it.
Ive been bullied for years and havent told anyone. My brother felt the same way and he told me about it, instead of our parents, he then told our parents. They stopped him from going outside for weeks and they hired so many people to keep him from it, it was that way for 7 months then he got out and commited suicide. He was the only person to ever talk with me and he meant more to me than anyone else. I’ve never told […]
I miss her so much it hurts. She was my everything. My reason to get up in the morning. My reason to want to be a better person. My reason to want to live.
Now that she has left me, there is a hole inside me. The hole is so big, I can’t function anymore. I can’t work. I can’t think straight. I can’t laugh or smile. I’m useless without her.
All I do every second of every day is think about her. I have daydreams of her texting me or calling me to say she still loves me and she made a mistake. I imagine our […]
9:20 PM. V-8 + Lit. Homework.
Could’ve had a V-8.
Could’ve swallowed more moons.
Could’ve told you the truth.
Could’ve spoken your mind.
Could’ve hated your dad’s girlfriend.
Who’s humming? Someone’s humming
Valentine’s Day is depressing, not because you’re alone, but because it’s when your mother is pleading for flowers and your dad says sorry, there’s only ten dollars till Tuesday, can I wait? I love you, I promise, you’ll get a big bouquet if you can wait till the 16th…it’s still love, right?
This Valentine’s Day, my mom’s in the hospital and my dad’s with his girlfriend and I don’t know who to love anymore
Hi, I am a typical high schooler. Im apart of my schools band. I love it at times. In the seventh grade I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was put in the hospital. My parents say I only did it for attention. I ddnt. I was really sad and saw no reason tl live. Back in may, I was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I had got in a lot of trouble for something I didnt do. I felt like my parentd hated me. They even asked around for boarding school. They want me to be perfect. Im a teen, I make […]
I don’t understand where the surety of my identity went to.
To lose my husband of 37 years to a car crash that changed the lives of so many is not as consuming and confusing as the loss of my adored, trusted, loving little brother to abandonment. I have loved and been devoted to my brother for all of his 56 years. I trusted his love and devotion to me without question. He is the person I would trust with the lives of myself, my children and grand children. He is the executor of my will and was so for my late husband (in case I died at the […]
I don’t know why I’m depressed. If someone asked me why or if I was writing a suicide note and trying to explain it, I wouldn’t know what to say. My parents are constantly at each others throats, have been for as long as I can remember. I’ve seen violence in my family, even been on the receiving end of it a few times. My old school was horrible, my classmates hated me and always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. But those three reasons are all I can think of and they’re not even that bad. My parents love me […]
It’s raining
I used to love the sound of rain. It calmed me. It drizzled through the leaves in the tree in the rose garden when we huddled together and ate sushi one afternoon. That is all gone now. Gone forever.
It’s raining
I can see her dancing in the yard with nothing but a big floppy hat. The rain made her happy. It washed away all of her tears and all of her fears. There are no more tears. She is no more.
It’s raining
How I loved to walk in the rain. Walking for miles on end. I could leave everything I hated, and that […]
Let me tell you a True story.A story of a Childs dreams and how he ended up being the very thing he hates.Dont worry about his name.
Many years ago there was once a child,a boy.The boy was a very happy,and cheerful,and hyper.He loved going to his cousins house to play,he loved going outside,and he loved to be around other people.This child started off just like any other…pure.He had dreams of being a soldier,of being a firefighter,and of being a Hero.more than anything the boy wanted to be someone who helped others.He wanted to help the poor be happy,he wanted to give those who had nothing,everything.Unfortunately […]
My desire and motivation have been very low for the past couple of years that I have been called “depressed.” I couldn’t go to college for more than a couple of weeks before I started skipping and realising that it was just like high school, where it seemed that the aspirations of everyone were to get drunk and make stupid decisions, which I had a difficult time understanding. (If they hated consciousness so much, why didn’t they commit suicide?) What is the point of living past high school anyways? I always liked learning, but that’s proving to be more trouble than it’s worth. With the […]
Today was the day that I planned to kill myself, but unfortunately my affairs won’t be completely in order until November 25th. I can’t depart from this world until all of my affairs are in order because I don’t want to leave a mess behind for people to clean up. Earlier my ex professor emailed me, and called me asking if I was okay because he felt like I wasn’t. Initially, I denied that anything was wrong, and then I broke down and told him everything. All he did was push me further to suicide because he can’t comprehend the amount […]
I may be young but my life is crumbled.My problem is not as serious as you people who take drugs and cut themselves because you are seriously hurt.I just feel like a piece of s***. I keep smiling in my life holding back my real feelings but that just makes me feel worse it makes me feel like i want to explode! My friends are not my real friends my family only critisize my every move i have no freedom.i feel like i want to die. I told myself that if i go through this hardship then god will reward me with heaven.but no. I […]
Once upon a time ago, there was a little girl that honestly couldn’t have pictured a more perfect life. She was a successful athlete, had friends, a great girlfriend, but apparently that just wasn’t enough to help her survive. Where she grew up, if you were a good athlete you were automatically popular, so she was popular. But she didn’t like feeling superior to others, so she kept the friends she grew up with. However, they weren’t athletic so this girl that once had it made was now getting talked shit on by the whole high school. Why would they spread such harsh things about […]
i had a stereotypical evil stepmom that hated me undercover for decades.
she did all the evil shit evil step-parents did
emasculated me constantly
framed me for destruction around the house (in addition to the regular mess a child makes)
did interesting food experiments on me (any one with cooking roots to a specific culture knows what im talking about)
and generally made me regret any supposed favor she would do for me
…
i thought when i finally started to hate her, that she would stop
she would regret making the child she raised hate her
but what i didnt know was that
she hated me first
she hated me for longer
she hated me more […]
I think you can go home soon, soul.
21 years old, I have loved, was loved in return, laughed, cried, hated, etc.
What more does this life hold for me except basically repeat?
I remember standing there with tears in my eyes looking at the river saying “I am proud of having managed to live twenty one years. Twenty one years.”
That was about 8 months ago.
I have a job and friends and medication but the pain keeps coming back. Do I have to, do I want to bear it until my body, inevitable as it is, dies someday?
Why not speed things up. For so many years my soul […]