all and all im happy right now and thats all that counts .Lifes to short to not make your self happy in life  . when it all boils down to it ..i did it my way .and i cant complain because i got everything i wished for and prayed for.. thats how i know theRe is a God  and He must love me .no one else does …the only thing i can tell you is God will give  you what you  pray for  ..but the key in praying to HIM  is use detail   God im lonley  ..so then God gives […]
Tag:
Having Fun
Don’t grow up. If you are grown up already, consider a change of profession before it’s too late. It’s boring and you’re not allowed to have fun. Ever. People think you’re weird if they see you playing in the snow while wearing a business suit. Need I go on?
Life is for living. That should offer all anyone needs, but when you start realizing that the world is a complicated place, and nobody actually knows anything, and the easy answers don’t add up to much more than hot-air, it’s easy to forget what living is. Look at squirrels. They’re living. They know how to live like […]
I can’t do this.
With every new experience, everything I do, I just get broken down more by how stupid the world is.
I always thought I got out of my parents’ house, faced my fears, I’d be ok. That everything would get better. But now I’m moved out and everything still sucks.
Boyfriend is away for two and a half weeks. It hasn’t even been one and I’m meh and depressed and mad. He said we’d talk “lots.” Lots for us is constantly. We’ve barely talked at all. I’ve talked to his older brother more than to him. And mostly I’m just mad at his parents for […]
Every day the same as the last,
Good or bad it’s soon in the past
On occasion having fun
But when you look at the clock your day is done.
The minutes turn to hours, the hours soon days,
Your life has become nothing but a misty haze.
On your death bed you lay knowing you’re close to death.
All alone, there’s no one there to witness your final breath
I’m so positive, always smiling, laughing, telling people what they want to hear, trying to make them happy but sometimes when I’m alone, I just can’t control myself. I fight myself, knowing I will loose. I just, I don’t know, I don’t know how to explain. People out there, having fun, couples, or friend groups, going out everyday, their parents let them go out. But they are always wanting for more, i don’t understand. Is it fair? I love living and life but sometimes it’s seems so dark I can’t even find the light switch. Â Ofcourse I feel so blessed for all of these, so […]
As I have mentioned many times before here on tsp, In 2002 I reclined the seat in my car in the garage and closed my eyes and waited but before I fell asleep forever I kept seeing images of my 1 yr old niece and 5 year old nephew. Â I got out of the car went up to bed, cried and have been living in pain ever since. Â But its all worth it after days like today, when they show up out of the blue and we spend some hours having fun swimming, playing wiffle ball and just being around these 2 great kids makes […]
I was just going through my old pictures when I stumbled across my pictures from 2009 summer pictures. I didn’t think anything of it until I found the pictures of my friends. We spent basically the whole summer together. It made my chest hurt, just seeing my smile and all of my friends together. We haven’t really been like that since our friend Andrew killed himself.
We had our little “gang.” four girls, four guys. There was me, Kelsey, Anna, Shiney(real name), Max, Henry, Andrew, and Toby.
We were always happy and having fun. Then, when Andrew killed himself last June, it was like a piece was […]
I don’t know why I feel this way. I use to be a mellow, laid back person. I worked hard, but only if the benefits outweighed the costs. I graduated high school, got into a university. I did everything I was told to do and everything that was expected of me. My whole purpose had been drilled into me to get to college. Never anything else. Now I have a job and attend classes. No one even looks this way now. As long as I continue to work and take classes I am ignored. Until they want something of course. My father, does not even […]
A boy is the least of my troubles.
My problems are my problems.
Anxiety keeping me from living my life, meeting new people and having fun.
Depression is keeping me from loving my family, loving life and enjoying being a teenager.
Bipolar is making me lose people and so much more.
Like fuck, seriously, it frustrates me to the point were I want to rip my hair out.
Family is against me. Friends are against me. Life is against me. I’m against me.
Chaifair here, if anyone on here knows me, tnx 4 being my fwend.
The pain hurts so bad, my body feels like someones chrushing it, and i can barley breath. Once again im alone, depressed, and with many sharp objects all i have to choose. But i sit on my bed staring at the clock whispering one more minute as his voice screams in my head “it’s our secret”…..”you better keep it”
“Or i’ll kill you” i wanna scream fun back to my friends, but i’ve gone home for that night and again im alone, the pain is just to much as flashbacks push there way into my head. My heads throbbing and im shaking, it feels like someones […]
So this is my first story here…
I’m 20 years old and have been thinking about suicide since I was about 7
(yes, for real)
Thing is, back then, I was also happy… The biggest problems I had were
“my brother ate my chocolate” and so on… And well, now, with getting older, encountering other *more severe* problems in life, they still don’t get to me in a way that I would want to kill myself because of them. As said in the title, I’m a quite happy person.
But in all these years, all this time, there is a constant need to end it all…
My urge to […]
He was there with me, we were doing what we usually do, having fun by being with eachother. It was all i wished for, hes a gentleman. Hes happy to see im happy. I have to push, ask for a hug, i feel hes body warmth and heart beating. Im on his chest, were smiling to one another, talking. We get up, keep talking, smiling, living the moment, like 2 children who love to play together… Somehow we end up close, faces too close and i cant resist, he feels it and we kiss. It was so sweet, so wanted, his kiss felt like that. […]
Im 20 and I live in one of the best cities in the US, nyc. I should been out enjoying life having fun but I cant… This darkness that hides within me wont allow me it has a hold on me and its geting stronger. I fear myself smh. Im surrounded by people but noone understands me noone loves me or care for me.. But why should they smh im crazy weird and miserable, well thats what they say. But I dont wanna be that I dont wanna be broken lonely and suicidal. I wanna be happy and free. I wanna have friends and live […]
Well, this is my first time posting on something like this. I’m not exactly sure how to start, but here goes nothing.
Hi there. I’m sixteen years old and I should be happy. I have a decent family, a decent home, a wonderful school, and a few close friends. I come from a long line of women who have a chemical imbalance which causes depression. Low levels of serotonin influence my moods negatively, according to the doctor. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it’s actually quite common in women/teenage girls. In my opinion? It’s just another excuse to drug us and take our […]
the merry go round
goes round and round
round and round
living loving having fun
no one wants to realize what we have done
everyone laughing , eager faces
but when we are through
there will be no more traces
of life as we know it
but we do not show it
behind our facades our masks
so cleverly made up
im ready to give up
the merry go round goes round and round
round and round
the creatures we ride are colorful decorations
created by us
crowned decorations
all except one
the creature i ride wears no crown
only a dark twisted frown
we are draped […]
i may be abused. but all i wanna do know is hurt myself more and more. for the past week my best friend and i have been fighting constantly. over stupid issues really..thing is now were kinda sorta talking nicer but i cant trust him now. im fucked over now thinking were ganna get in another argument..weve been best friends for 7 months now and this is the first time ever we have argued (or at least this much) now when were having fun and laughing i feel guilty. cuz we shouldnt fight. hes been there since day one and has never left me..hes the […]
I thought things were getting easier, resisting the urge to cut myself. But knowing that I’m worthless to a large amount of people isn’t really helping me. I have all these emotions that I need to get out to someone in person but I don’t have anyone to get them out to. It’s like everyone around me is happy and at the moment there’s not one thing that’s making me smile. I feel physically and mentally tired and I’ve almost  completely given up. I have no friends at school, I’m not close to my family, and the one person I need right now is ignoring […]
I am a 31yo male, clinically diagnosed (smoke and mirrors) as having major depressioen when I was five. I’ve seen therapists and counselors for years and currently i’m seeing one for an hour each week. It does nothing. When I was younger, all I wanted was to grow up. I thought that if I were an adult, kids wouldn’t make fun of me.. i’d have a respectable job. A wife.
Nothing can be further from the truth. I’m a 31yo loser who is forced to live in his parents basement after having been dumped by his girlfriend of 8 years for a woman. I have no […]
I was having fun. I actually started to love life. The earth is fucked and twisted. Once I love life The world gets mad and makes my life miserable. I know I have people who care but what’s going to work? Them be happy that I stay or just let me go. if they really care they will let me die right? I dont know. Well i dont know what I’m doing writin this but I feel alone now maybe that’s why. I’m back to square one. I wanna die.
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