out of all fucking people, why did i have to fall inlove with my best friend?! we used to have a “thing” she used to like me. but she said she doesnt wanna lose our friendship because im her best friend. everyone i know can just tell im in love with her. and i hate admitting. i told her once when i went out of the city for a week and i told her i said that cos i missed her so much. i always look her in the eyes and say im not in love with her, but in realaty i think she is […]
Tag:
Heart
I just wrote an angry hate letter to basically the whole ‘class of 2012’ at my school that I will never send. It was supposed to make me feel better, but came out more like a suicide note so I don’t know what that indicates… I am quite pleased with the closing line, though:
“Just know that actions have consequences and you have managed to massively dent one person’s faith in humanity and that is unimaginably dangerous and now too late.”
Writing that letter did make me wonder who at that hell of a school would care if I went through with it, if this subconscious […]
Song I always listen to when at my lowest makes me cry so much, I know there wont be someone though when my time comes as im hoping my time will come soon as
Lyrics to Hope There’s Someone:
Hope there’s someone
Who’ll take care of me
When I die, will I goHope there’s someone
Who’ll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I’m tired
There’s a ghost on the horizon
When I go to bed
How can I fall asleep at night
How will I rest my head
Oh I’m scared of the middle place
Between light and nowhere
I don’t want to be the one
Left […]
Hey, guess what.
My heart’s still beating
My blood’s still flowing
My body’s still working
and I’m even glowing.
They all say I’m better and prettier than her. They all say it’s his loss. They all took my side. And I saw her, and they were right. He’s trying to get to me, but he isn’t strong enough to break through. His mistake, he’ll look back and think, “Wow, that was stupid, she gave me her heart and I threw it away, she was amazing” The 80 and 20 rule, I’m the 80 with the whole package and I cared about and loved you. You just met […]
There was always something inside of me saying I wasn’t good enough and that he would find someone else. I had the feeling deep down when he left that when he came back he would be different and that I wouldn’t be able to change that. I knew deep down that he didn’t love me and I was never really good enough. I was right, as usual. But I wish that this was a dream and I would wake up and see it was all fake. Somebody please shoot me because I can’t do this. Shoot me through the heart and put it out of […]
Right now I’m only living because I am alive.To not waste what I consider a magnificent oportunity to discover,feel and enjoy everything that moves your heart.Yet no matter how hard I look,no matter how hard I search,I can’t find the rope to guide me trough the maze.I feel so alone…Everyone around me seem so far away,like I was in a different dimension overlaping his one but I couldn’t be touched.I can’t find what moved my heart anymore.Everyday seem wasted.I think: “If I was going to do nothing again,I should have stayed in bed”…Worthless chatter “It’s finaly geting hot outside!”…”I love the cold…”.Everybody looks at me […]
Its the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you…
I’m so mentally clusterfucked and I dont know what to do or think right now.. the worst I’ve fallen in almost a year and I dont even know why. All I can do is bury my head and want to cry.. too bad my heart is too bruised to shed a tear like they used to.
Hi.. you know my other posts, yeah, them…. well they are  not true, i lie. I do this because i have a sick twisted demented little mind for a bi-sexaul 11 year old boy. Yes, you did read it right, I am 100% Bi-sexual, don’t like it?? Yeah well neither do I. I hate my sexuality. You know deathbug, well it’s funny really because we are so alike, we made sick twisted lying stories that made you fall bad for us, so i would again like to say sorry to all of the people on this site, especially U.N Owen and Holly. I don’t know […]
She wakes up everyday and look at the clock as it was a curse, one more day to fake a smile and walk trough life emotionless.
She remembers the voices on her ears when she was little, she feels someone is there to hug her but that someone is unknown and that scares her so hard she wants to cry… but she can’t, her feelings are hide on the deepest of herself so she can’t show what is feeling.
She goes to sleep with the hope of no waking anymore, but when she opens her eyes in the morning and realize that she stills […]
It’s 1:17 Am… My heart is acting up again…. feels almost like it’s skipping a beat… like its going irregular. Then its okay…Just another thing to add to that feeling of death or dying inside me. I am not living, and as far as I can tell… I am doomed to an early death anyways. Tonight i will close my eyes, and in the darkness i will wish to never awake from my slumber, for tomorrow is not something i want to see anymore. .
im so sick of people thinking they know me,
how can anyone know me if i dont really know myself?cause im not the main sorce of information for my own life?soon wen you let every body in, and they all hurt you, this mask doesnt do know good, it becomes to late, it can protect me from other people, but it cant protect me from myself,.has anyone ever felt like they wanna die,or even more wen you thiink of certain people?and its hard not to wen thats all u have,i try to be strong for 21 years, and the only thing iv accomplished is […]
I hate your touch
I hate your smellÂ
I hate your walkÂ
I hate the way you talk
I hate your mom
I hate your dad
I hate your brother who assumed I was bad
I hate the lord for making someone like you
I hate him for bring me to you
I hate how you made me love you
I hate how you took my heart away
I hate how you broke it
I hate how you left it
I hate how you never said you were sorry
I hate you for everything you did to me
I hate you for making me hate […]
Everything about me is broken
my phone, my bank account, my heart
i wish someone would just take them
and give me a brand new start
I’ve gone through bullets and knives
through fire and ice
through volts and ropes
through drugs and loves
through suffocation and exoneration
And yet i still am alive
I beg for peace
i beg for calm
i beg for death
and yet nothing has happened but
pain
suffering
and silence.
I am broken, body and soul
nothing in this world will make me whole
because i am scattered in a million peices
and there’s no way i can find them all
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
How do I continue in my meaningless existence when I feel as if I’m on my own? I’m sure all of you who read this knows exactly how I feel, though I doubt anyone will read this so I’m just wasting my time as usual. Sigh. I am going to start using this as a vent, because I have no one to talk to that actually knows my pain, and those that pretend to or pretend to care are just inane and useless to me now. I am utterly alone, I go through the day with a fake smile plastered on my ugly face and a degrading […]
I am extremely tired. Happiness keeps teasin me. Everytime it feels like its finally in grasp and my lifes going to be ok, it slips right out of my hands. Somebody I thought was my friend screwed up my relationship a while back. We never got over each other. I still like him alot. My boyfriend now, doesnt make me alot happier. We only see each other literally maybe three times a year so we just text. In the middle of the convErsation he’ll leave without explanation…yay. Then he acts like it never happened. I flirted with my ex and sccidently went a little too […]
Kill me to free me
Tis my only option now
Cause I don’t have faith in myself
And ive lost my way long ago
In this storm that I brave to see a better day
I find myself crawling
Clinging to the fragile roots that doth hold me here
For my soul died long agoÂ
I live as a hollow shell
So go ahead and kill me
Send the rest of me to hell
Or release me from this hell
Where today I now dwellÂ
Searching for something else
To stay for, to breathe for, to live for
My tears have fallen for you
For the past the present […]
This is my favorite song, it’s Sarcasm by Get Scared. I just wanted to share. Look it up, maybe you’ll like it…
(i dont own this song, i think Nick Matthews does…)
You’ve got me shaking from the way you’re talking
My heart is breaking but there’s no use crying
What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes
If I had common sense I’d cut myself or curl up and die
Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs
Don’t mind us we’re just spilling our guts
If this is love I don’t wanna be loved
You pollute […]
I hate my life… I’m currently 29 years old with no job, no money, no spouse of any kind, no career, no car, failed college, no friends, no hopes, dreams and goals for my life. I’m so sad. I live with my mom because I have no where else to go. The love of my life, we weren’t official but it felt real for 3 years, left me for one of my friends in July, 2011. I got fired from my old job in November 2011 and ever since then I cant seem to get a job thats willing to hire me. I been so […]
i was fed up the other day of fighting just to survive everyday, you see, i’ve been living on the streets for a couple of months and life if just getting worse and worse by the day… i dont have any money for food or drink as the goverment have fucked my benfit claim up so i have had to beg everyday, mostly unsuccesfully, for food and/or drink.. i have lost everything in life and was at the point of giving up… i gathered a few sharp objects (broken cup, glass, needle and empty can) and started hacking at my arm, making a ‘T-shaped’ gash which […]