I never asked to be born. It’s not like I was given much of a choice. I didn’t choose my parents, my house, the schools I went to or the country in which I live. I’m just here. And everyday it becomes harder for me to accept that. It’s not my fault that I see the world the way I do, or that I hold such feelings of hatred for it. Nothing would make me happier than to see it and everyone in it burn. But no amount of me hoping, ranting or dreaming of that is going to make it happen. So I give […]
Tag:
Heart
Let me live again
Let me dream of how things were
Let life be my grass I walk on
Looking for a place to stay free
(You still did this to me)
Let me be the only thing I dream big dreams for
Let my heart grow strong against love
Where you could never last past the moment
That many men crushed me daily
(You were everything to me)
Ugh, let my hands gently lift my hair
Slowly pulling it back revealing my eye
Black and blue among other colors that leak through
But for some odd reason
I just can’t let go
(There’s never been happiness,
Nor real love […]
fourth grade and things didnt get better. People didnt really talk to me and if they did, they never had anything nice to say to me.I constantly got called names; Fatty, little miss piggy, worm (because i had my hair braided and they looked like little worms), four eyes, book worm, slob, ugly etc. I became very drawn back and I started to write poetry. My first poem was called no one cares about me. its a self explanatory poem. the names got to me. they weighted on my heart so much. I became bitter towards the world. I started to get a really bad attitude. I fought back […]
It was only the first time.
I spun the blade around in my hands
contemplating if I should really do this or not.
I heard my mom yell.
Yes, I should, It’s worth it.
The blade sank into my arm,
cutting across my arm.
Not too deep.
It was only the second time.
The kids at school were bullies.
My parents just got mad.
I took the blade in my hands.
I didn’t even think about it.
I pushed it into my arm,
cutting across parallel to the last one,
A little deeper.
It was at least the 50th time.
I didn’t even have different reasons anymore.
I decided that it’s no longer about living because I have to. I’m going to live because I need to. My mom is currently in intensive care I came home and found her blue from lack of oxygen. She can’t breathe on her own. My mom is everything to me. She came back when I was 12 and saved me and my brothers lifes. I won’t give up until I know she’s fine. I blame a lot of this on myself the lack of oxygen is from to many medications because she was in pain because she was stressed about me. My mom has a […]
ive been think lately, recently ive been diagnosed with a fatal cancer in the heart. in the first 2 mounths i was really emo and i pretty much cried every night till i accecpted it. that was almost a year now and i really dont have much time left, doctor say bout 1-2 mounths. all of my freinds and family are getting so upset that im dying, and i cant take te fat that im hurting them, the people i love. so i thought i could make there pain go away sooner.
To the girl who was called ‘ugly’ by the many people she’d call ‘friends’, we will remember you.
To the boy who’s sexuality made him a target of beating bullies, we will remember you.
To the high school dropout who followed the wrong path of alcohol and drugs, we will remember you.
To the man who had no home, love or hope, we will remember you.
To the woman who lost her husband to cancer, we will remember you.
And to the all the other innocent, pure minds who have taken their lives, we will remember you, and the suffering you have once endured, Is now peace within the heart.
I snapped.
I confided in you my deepest secret.
I trusted you.
But, I was wrong to do so.
You twisted my words.
Made it sound worse than it really was.
Then, you told everyone.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I thought you were my friend.
I thought you were the only one who cared about me.
But, I was wrong.
You didn’t care.
Others did, but I turned my back, and now they don’t.
It was all you.
You spread the rumors.
You talked behind my back.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I showed you my scars.
I showed you what I […]
This is my first time on here, so i think i should telll you my past. when i was younger i was a really happy kid. my whole life was laughter. untill my parents divorced, they both remarried i was an only child but now my dad has 3 girls and my one sister is deaf and another has a hole in her heart. To make it worse my aunt, my bestfriend just passed away unexpectedly and my house just bunrt down… i used to self harm really badly but i learned to stop. i now have eating problems, in the last 3 days i […]
One day I was sitting on the couch staring out the window at the rain.
My mother approached me and looked into my eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” She said softly
I asked her how she knew so easily.
“The eyes are the windows to the soul.” She replied
I never forgot that day.
Another day, hears later, I met you.y
You seemed happy. Every day you woke up and put on your smile.
That’s all anyone looked for, but not me.
I looked further.
I approached you and looked into your eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” I said.
You asked me how I knew and I gave you […]
I wrote a poem about what bullying did to me, what kind of effect it had on me. How it felt for me. Like the part that they took away my childhood. This poem has a lot of meanings for me, it’s really special.
You stole my heart,
you stole my mind.
You stole my happiness,
you stole my love.
You took away everything I had,
and now I’m broken,
bruised and scarred.
You’re a thief,
you’re a criminal.
But you won’t hurt me again,
’cause I’ve got a thicker skin.
I’m stronger and braver.
But you stole the little girl inside of me…
Written […]
Why did he ask me for a kiss? Why did he have to tell me he loved me? How come my heart told me over and over again he meant it? I felt like I was floating even though he was wrapping his arms around me, telling me to never go. His laugh made me smile. His touch was felt everywhere and the way he kissed me tugged on my heart. Why did he have to fill my head with all these lies? Why couldn’t he just tell me he wanted one thing? It would have been easier. Why did he make me feel higher […]
There is just something about causing pain to oneself that is so beautiful. Cutting has always been my out. But it’s been taken away from me in a difficult way.Â
Two years ago my life was changed forever. The person I thought was everything to me tore my heart out and never gave me a reason behind it all. Â We had been best friends for 7 years and together for 4 years. We were always together for everything. After he refused to have anything to do with me, I decided to take things into my own hands. I was living on my friends couch because being […]
i feel numb
all the time
now.
now that i cut
i feel like there’s
an ice-cube on my
mind.
like there’s an ice-
cub covering my
heart.
like i can’t feel any-
thing.
i can think, that’s for
certain.
like i said, this, this
cutting
has saved me from
ruin.
i can think. the cutting has
helped
me pull my life back
together.
mostly it was my school
life
meaning my grades and
whatever
that was falling apart when i
had
nothing to hold onto, nothing to
cling to.
and so now that the cutting has
numbed
my feelings and made it so i can’t
feel
i can concentrate on thinking
bringing
up those grades and being
less
stressed. which is a good thing.
but
it gives me stress, too, like
what
if […]
Hi,
My username is an anagram so if any of you care to do a little word play, you can figure out my real name, but thats not why I am here. I am here to tell you, the reader, a story. A story about me and why I want to die, yet cannot achieve presently.
I was born January 25, 1987. My mother was a drunk at the time and my father was smoking crank. I am the result of a one night stand. An accident turned paternal, if you will. My very first thought, I remember, was when I was still an infant, unable to […]
I feel quite depressed  but I guess that’s okay since I managed to be alright the past week. I’ve been walking mindlessly through the present and haven’t thought of the future , I don’t know what I was thinking I guess I just thought things were getting better though I was wrong, what was I thinking. Reality slapped me in the face the school year’s almost over and I’m still in the same place I was when it started and I’m feeling even worse than freshman year, I can’t bury my feelings as well as I could last year and my grades have slacked, and […]
yes you could have been there at times
yes you were short and made me blind
yes I needed you to be here instead of with him
yes the promise ring upset me
yes I thort I was loosing you
yes me to I wish I could say it was a joke but its not the blood is real and the joke is not
so talk to me for I don’t see you in the wrong just me the liyer the Herter of heart and myself
BUT I STILL FUCKING NEEDÂ YOU THAT IS THE TRUTH
I don’t want to cry for the rest of my life
He is looking at me, I know, I can feel it. I’m too scared to look back, because if I will, I might fall in love with him agian. But I glance a bit and I prove myself that I was right, he is staring at me. I look away and say something to my friend. I laugh, but my heart is falling apart. I glance agian. He is not looking at me anymore.
Not long time ago I texted him. I said that I miss him and I asked him out on a date. No was the answer.
Bye bye, my dear.
But please, if You don’t like […]
“Eat” says my body
“You’re fat, why would you wanna eat?!” says Ana
“I’m only doing this to support my mom” says my brain
“Go on and walk faster, you’re too fat” says Ana
“I don’t need to do this, I’m perfectly fine” says my heart
“Look at that roll. You’re fasting tomorrow” says Ana
Hi everyone my name is Sunflower. I have been a member of this sight for a while now (over a year i think maybe 2). This sight has helped me tremendously. When I had no one I came here to talk and express my feelings. Ive made friends here; some of whom havent come on for a while and I hope are doing well. When  I say I love you all i mean it. My life has been hell, confusing and oh so very lonely and SP has been my light through all the darkness. Anyone who I havent talked to on here i do […]