She smiles through a thousand tears,
and harbors adolescent fears.
she dreams of all that she can never be;
she wades in insecurity
and hides herself
in
me.
Tag:
Help
I’m 14. I wanna die. This isn’t some “oh my mom took my Xbox I’m so fuckin depressed” . No. Im not like that. I’ve been battling depression for about 8 months. And im just done. Im tired. I wish nobody would care about me so I could just go. But people do care. My adopted family. Aka my friends. One is basically my sister. The other is my homie. They care. They’re only ones. They’d miss me, but wouldn’t be too hurt, I think. They’d move on. They’re all I got, but im not all they got.
I simply don’t want to continue living. There […]
I am not a warrior, my spirit of warlock
I am hell’s child, the evolution of damned
I am one, with the underworld
The horsemen, his blood
The eternal, is my truth
Truth and reality
The grip is forever
Explode my body like a star because I need to die the most
I need to, now
The desolated sands
The balance of ‘Heaven and Hell’
Help me to die in peace
How am I gonna make it.
I’m 27 and male, never had a girlfriend, don’t have any friends, don’t have a purpose and everything that I seem to give up on everything I start at the first sign of hardship. When I pick out something to do, I always think i could be doing something better. I have problems deciding. I constantly feel unloved and don’t know how to heal that without the help of others. I feel that this is partially the fault of reversed gender roles with mom being the silent more rigid one and dad being the very caring person and sometimes overaccomodating. When it looks like I will be […]
Most of the time, I feel alone. Only 1 or maybe 2 friends understand me, or they are faking it. I just want to be happy. I’m 20 years old and I’m verry communicative person, I made others happy when they are sad, but when I’m sad and alone, most of them doesn’t care, few of them say “It would be alright” ,but that’s not what I need…I just need a person that will talk with me, help me to get trough this hard time that I’m in now…ahh, I just need a person that I can hugg,know that there is someone to help me […]
My demons creep back into my room and rip me to shreds…. Leave me with tears, scars, and blood dripping from my legs…. Who cares though right? I mean that’s how I live life everyday… With the people around me.. Who say they’ll stay?
I mean they said it’d be okay.. But honestly this “okay” feeling has yet to come.. So here I am once again putting on the same mask to hide my true expression.
Though I may smile it doesn’t mean I feel how I look… Looks can be deceiving.. And one might say that I’m a master of deception. I scream for […]
Today marks the first day i wrote my first entry on this website. I read through all my entrys and cried at who the person i was a year ago. i still feel horrible, but im slowly learning how to deal with these emotions, and beginning to become a happier and grateful person. most definitly i wake up some day wishing i wasnt alive but at the end of the day i some how find some sunshine in the grey days.
The thing what really made my cry while reading over my entries, was the comments from such amazing people that i have no connection […]
I wish that there was someone who understood what this feels like..i wish i could trust..iv been broken by so many.. over and over.. i just cant believe there is anything other than people who lie… is there anyone out there that does not lie and cause pain for there own selfish reasons..they don’t even realize what they are doing..i hope….and if there is someone…one… how would i know?.. i want to have faith in people.. i want there to be someone else like me.. someone who knows…
will i perpetually be in this cycle of pain..waiting for someone to show me its going to be […]
Hey again, second post and last post.
I feel that I’m ready although my methods sucessrate is questionable, I’m going to jump tonight but I can only access 10 meter fall to a stone fallpoint… so head first seems important. If you wonder Why I can’t do”better” about the height, here is my original post with background story, if you would wonder.
I’ve written all the letters and my requests for my funeral. But this will destroy my parents and it makes me panic… I want them to be able to continue their lives… can anyone give any tips for mental preperations without any […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
Where to begin… I’ll be 19 next week and I still don’t know what do I want from life, I don’t even know what would I like to do in the future, what would make me happy. It all started around the age of 10 I guess, my parents got devorced and we moved in the new environment. But I wasn’t really sad beacouse of the devorce tbh, it was the new environment, I wasnt excepted there, I was an outsider. But that was only the begining, at first I thought it made me stronger and it did in some way but since that year I can’t […]
Hell.
Hell is what I live in, no doubt about that.
I just want to die, is that too much to ask for?
I mean, what’s the point of living?
I see no reason of why I should?
It’s like, I can’t even live.
A Zombie.
I am a zombie.
A body walking around with nothing inside.
Absolutely nothing.
I can even breathe for Godsake.
It is like I’m in a cardboard box,
And there’s absolutely no way out.
I am trapped.
And the sad thing is,
I am trapped in my own life.
There is no order to most of my life.
Just as there won’t be much order to this post; my mind yields only things of its own nature and characteristics.
My poor mind, relatively young yet feeling so old. Worn down, like a war ship incessantly buffeted and berated by the interminable winds howling across the vast expanse of sea and darkness; never letting up, allowing no time for reprieve.
The wood creaks, the boards swell with moisture, and the sails test the very limits of the ropes that hold them, seeming as though they might snap at any moment.
But there is no ship. You know this, as you […]
Hey everyone,
I’ve just registered to this site so I hope everyone can see this post as I’ve so read many good one aswell. I really need your intel about a problem that’s concerning my plan.
But first, my story (incase anyone would wonder).
I’ve recently turned 21, I would say that I have been granted everything in life, I really loved life. But four years ago something happened. I was in high school, my grades were going great and my dream was soon about to come true to enter my dream college… I got an disease, incurable and hereditary. This disese was the one that killed my grandfather […]
I’m new to this so don’t even know if the box I’m typing in is the box I’m supposed to be typing in and I realize that nobody probably cares/will read this but It feels great to get it out so here goes.
I’m Jess, I am 17 years old and I am on my summer holidays from school now. Over the past year I have just grown to be so disapointed in myself and I jst feel worthless. I self-harm and I’ve told nobody about it. I understand that it is necessary to tell people about it and to find help but although my […]
I am so tired. I feel like I haven’t slept in days. I haven’t slept in days I keep having bad dreams. My friend died a month ago, it and I keep dreaming that she died again, and wake up crying. I can’t talk to anybody. I told my sister that I had lost 10 pounds in two weeks, and she said congratulations. 🙂 But, it’s not just my friend dying. It started before that. I keep crying throughout the day. I’m supposed to be happy and friendly and helpful, but I keep having meltdowns at work. I feel ridiculous, I feel like a failure. […]
Can someone please tell me how to tell one of my stepsiater that I have cut myself! Her other sister has been in 3 mental hospitals and has cut herself. But idk how to tell her because when I tell her about one thing, she says is that all? And I want to tell her so bad!! Help me please! When should I tell her?
Please someone, Anyone….Help me….I wanna die so badly right now, and i have no one to talk to…Please… Just Please….Talk to me…Don’t leave me alone….I don’t wanna be alone anymore…
Hello everyone,
heres my story. I’m bipolar but more so depressed with a side of pathological lying. I’m afraid of what the future may hold for me. I’m 26 unemployed, living at my parents house. I can’t afford to go see my counsoler and psychiatrist. I don’t have a penny in my name. I’m afraid to leave my parents house at some times. My girlfriend left me and good thing to. I did end up going crazy and tried offing myself. I sent my ass right to the psych ward and got out in four days. I’m scared that if my life continues the way that […]
To be honest with you, I don’t remember the first time I did it. I never really cut at first.. It was more like scratching. I used to get my key and scratch my arm with it. It hurt… That was all I wanted at the time. That began over a year ago.
Why did I do it, you may ask..? Well I felt so helpless, I had no control over anything in my life and I thought that it would help, but it was more than that too! I felt numb. Nothing made me feel anything, but when I scratched myself, I felt pain… And […]