Do you ever look back at your life and just instantly break down in tears? I am 18 years old, and in all of those 18 years I have done nothing productive for myself or for this world. I never tried in school, I really just barely got by. I never focused on building strong friendships or relationships, or at least never succeeded in them. I played soccer for most of my life, but was never great. I like to sing and play guitar, but I’m mediocre at best. I never excelled at anything I did, i just existed. The part that frustrates me […]
I turned eighteen almost a month ago, and I had been in a remission type deal from my Major depressive Disorder for about six months. Until last week. I feel no motivation to do anything. It takes so much effort to take a shower at night, I went from taking full showers at night, to half showers (standing in the corner of the tub and just washing my hair), and then to saying “I’ll just take one in the morning” and end up allowing all three of my alarms to go off and hopping in the shower to wash my hair five minutes before I […]
I’m a 17 year old girl in my senior year of high school. I don’t do terribly in school, but i also don’t do great. I’m kind of mediocre at everything I do. I’m also kind of a pot head. I don’t get along great with my parents, we have really different views on everything. I have always had a good amount of friends, but recently started drifting from a lot of them. I have one best friend, and she is sort of my only friend at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I love her like a sister, and she is a really good […]
I’m just going to put this here for me to re-read when I’m at a low point. Kind of as a public time-capsule. Bear with me as it’s going to be a lot about I-Me-My.
I was born to a single mom with a lot of personal issues. She was a pretty promiscuous party girl during my early childhood. She dated, and we lived with a few
different drug dealers before I was even 3, not that I minded at that age. I temporarily lived with my grandma for a year from 3 to 4. I don’t have any memory of
this but apparently, according to […]
Everyone on this site I’m pretty sure can all agree that their emotions and personal experience cannot be an exact match to someone else’s. There are many similarities for instance with certain tragedies. Most other rape victims I’ve met have gone through somewhat similar raw emotions as I have. But each of us has our own refined version of it I think. At least that’s my opinion and lord knows I don’t have a degree in psychology, so take what you will from this.
In this post I’m going to describe the three major versions of … I guess […]
So I am a senior male in high school. I’m 17 going on 18 at the end of June. There’s this one kid Zack who is a freshman at my school and I fucking hate him. I haven’t really talked to him but knowing what he does makes me sick. He dates a girl and makes out with her and everything, he is all sweet and charming and everything (little does anybody know he’s really a ***** and extremely aggressive and violent with guys) but the catch about the girls he dates is that they all self-harm (usually cutting). Sounds like a sweet boy right? […]
Ah, i never thought i would post on a site like this one. Still, i would like some advice.. I’m sorry if this is too long, i don’t really know what i’m going to say so thank you to all of you who actually read through all this nonsense..
I don’t know what’s happening to me, i never would have imagined i would slip this far away. At first i thought i was just being a little over dramatic. That’s normal for teenagers y’know? But these thoughts, these “what ifs”, these plans, I can see how much they are taking over and i don’t know what […]
I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe so that I can just get it out of my system now and have something for other people to read after I’m dead. Maybe for some other reason. I don’t know.
My history with suicide is filled with twists and turns. Ever since I was ten years old, I could tell that I wasn’t normal and that no matter what I tried, I would never be able to fit in with other people due to my inconsistent and abnormal disposition. This idea stemmed from the fact that throughout my life as a child, I never really had any friends. There […]
I’ve been asking my parents to take me to a psychologist for the past four years. Today they told me I have an appointment next week, I was happy at first, then they told me the day of my appointment and I got scared.
I have too many things on my plate…
I used to enjoy going to my Forensics practices, it was a time where I got to swear, scream, cry and just be who I am inside without anyone knowing. Now, I have to be patient, not be so dramatic. For FUCKS sake, how am I not supposed to be dramatic? Seriously, my category is Drama! I […]
As I was walking through the old hallway of my high school, my former teacher stopped me. She told me that I looked different, that something just didn’t resemble the same girl she once had in her classroom.
I looked at her confused and asked what she meant. She told me that she remembers the way I acted during freshman-junior years and that’s how I seemed to be now.
She explained to me that during my senior year she could see that I was in a happy place and I was content with the life I had adapted to. She asked me if I had returned to […]
Yup…
But it’s not the usual, it returned… It returned much worse than before… MUCH, much worse…
I can feel whatever’s left of my sanity fading away as I am drawn back into the cycle of repetitive days, with the time barely moving on during the parts of the day I hate, and flying by during the few moments I enjoy in the day.
Then, going back to bed, thinking with dread that tomorrow will be another day I will have to wake up and face the world. Another day I will be reminded with every occasion of the failure that I am. Eventually falling into an uneasy […]
I remember feeling from a very early age like I didn’t belong anywhere. I always felt like the black sheep in my family and I was always pretty shy so making friends wasn’t really a strong suit.
I started getting depressed when I was about 12 years old. I had a teacher who I usually went to when I was having a bad day because I knew no one else would listen. I was having trouble fitting in when I was in middle school. I tried to fit in with all different groups of people but I never really clicked anywhere. In […]
Sorry I’m so wordy, and you probably don’t care. I guess I’m just whiny.
My timeline of friends and now I have no one..
I’ve never been good at anything in my entire life. From the start I just caused my parents misery and made them split up before I could even form memories. At Primary School I was always behind the other kids, I never perfected my handwriting and to this day it’s still disgusting, I never had any friends in my class and was always just the retard that nobody liked. This continued into High School where I managed to get some help and actually caught up with everyone else eventually, even excelling in some subjects but still being considered a weird ugly loner by everyone else […]
Well… Hi. I just joined and I thought an introduction to myself might be a good idea so anybody commenting or replying to my posts would understand some of the circumstances and viewpoints of the person they are talking to.
I am pretty young, younger than probably most of the the people on here, but I have definitely met younger in situations similar to mine (as far as the whole depression thing goes). I am 14, my birthday is after the school year starts but before the new year so I am among the youngest of my class.
I am going into sophomore year in an IB […]
My suffering has been never ending for over twelve years. I am 18 years old and about to finish high school. I don’t know if I will reach that finish line, as I am stumbling hard. I won’t go into my whole backstory, but I will mention some of it.
I’ve suffered extreme bullying for my whole school life. When I finally got into high school, I thought it would change…I thought it would be different. How wrong I was.
The bullying started up again very quickly, but none of the teachers ever gave a shit. Recently, that bullying has turned into sexual harassment, and nothing is […]
I’m a little bit new to this whole blogging my feelings thing, but i can’t keep it to myself anymore. I hate myself, i dont know how or wen i did, or i think maybe i always have. I dont think ive ever been happy. When I was really little it was me my mom my dad and my little brother. I always try and remember my childhood as being happy and i’m always that one person to point out the good in any situation, but it’s time i tell the truth. My dad was a rug addict. my dad did crack and cocaine and […]
I’m 16, and I’m going into my senior year of high school in a few months, and I’ve been facing depression for over a year now. I wish I could explain how I really feel, but I don’t think it would make sense. Mostly it’s the fact that I have high-achieving dreams. Like, the kind of dreams where it takes a one in a million chance to actually accomplish them. And I’ve convinced myself that I’m not going to achieve anything in life and I’ll just be bored and miserable the entire time. As if I’m convinced that without these dreams, I won’t be happy, […]
I went back to school today and regretted it immediately upon entering the building. My head hurt, I was nauseous, and I was beyond tired. Within the first hour of school, I could feel myself slipping. I had to go to the bathroom during baking to get myself together and not break down in tears. The worst part is, I don’t even know why I was so upset.
I had my sociology exam, I probably did fine, but it felt like I wasn’t comprehending the questions, my eyes were just reading the words.
In creative writing, my teacher asked if anyone had not started their short story yet. […]
I stayed home from school again today, that makes 18 missed days for the year. I don’t think I’m allowed to miss any more or else the school will take us to court. I’ll probably still miss more anyway.
I have exams for my college courses this week, and I honestly could not possibly care less about my grades. I’m not going to college, anyway. I probably won’t even make it to my high school graduation.
Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve known about my final for my creative writing class. It’s a short story that has to be a minimum of 25 pages, double-spaced. This […]
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