I am so fucking done with the world. It seems like I can’t do anything. I sing, well at least I try to, and every single time my family puts me down any buries my dreams in HELL. I Â write, and somebody either says “It’s Stupid” “It sounds like plagiarism” “Are you sure you aren’t copying?” “Im pretty sure thats already a book” or criticizes it. And I get the WORST writers block, and most of my stories remained unfinished, sitting in the hard drive of my computer. The one that I did finish is awful, and I’ve thrown that one in trash mountain. People […]
Tag:
Hobbies
Kinda pathetic having this realization from an anime of all things but it actually spoke to me better than most people can. Anyways its this show called Watamote and it just had its final episode. Its about social anxiety ,loneliness, generally just things that I could relate these past few years (frustration from trying to make friends, no love life, no sense of fulfillment) which is the reason I started watching it and basically it ended on the note that after all she did nothing has changed and shes still lonely but the thing is she just laughs it off and says “it doesnt matter […]
So my depression started when i was bullied severely in middle school and summer camp, people really don’t know how much this messes up a person. I became introverted and started thinking of my own death constantly at a young age , to the people that say it gets better i just have to laugh. Because now that I am older I found out that I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, and not to mention I am a 30 year old unsuccessful virgin that also has erectile dysfunction. It seems that God is just laughing at me just like the builles did when I was a […]
I have one more year left of school, that’s all I really have to get through.
I also have one more year left of the two years I gave myself to not kill myself for.
Over this past year I’ve become less suicidal, now I’m just more bitter and angry and filled with hatred. Just not so much with myself. I just hate my situation as it is now, I hate my friends more than anything.
I hate them.
One more year.
That’s all.
One more year of hating all of my friends and trying not to kill myself.
I don’t think many people understand what it’s like to hate all of […]
I went to my old high school today. It was awful. I arrived and I couldn’t find anyone for a while so I just decided to randomly walk around the building for a while. I got made fun of for wearing my sunglasses indoors by some random dude (really? REALLY???) who apparently thought I was ‘trying to be cool’ (in reality I was just really fucking stoned… how sheltered are these people?)… I eventually ran into an old teacher of mine who found one of my old friends and I went to sit with her and two other visitors (apparently, she’s really popular??). I was […]
It’s my forgiveness from my dear friend.
I sent a message to an unknown in facebook. She shared her story and one guy was really troubling her and making her life hell. I felt she is pure and she was tough and caring. I tried to give confident in her and she called me soul mate. As she was already in depression and she tried to commit suicide once, I never went n meet her just was doing the same and asked her to go to doctor with a friend.  I tried to write for her, some were natural and hoped she may be smiled for […]
First let me star off by saying that I am not planning on committing suicide right now. I just do not want to get to that point. I do not know how to express what I am feeling, but I will try to the best of my ability to describe it. I just feel lost, I do not want to do anything anymore. I do not want to move anymore, but I do not want to stay still. I want to live, but I do not want to keep trying to endure this suffering. I have a good family and great friends, just my views […]
I cried myself to sleep last night because I was so frustrated everything just felt pointless and I was tired of feeling stuck and just wish I never got depressed in the first place. I feel like being bullied caused a lot of problems for me that led me to depression and I feel like if I dealt with bullying by talking to someone and telling those who bullied me that what they were saying was hurting me instead of putting my energy into hobbies then I wouldn’t be here. I developed so many bad habits because of it for instance: I hold all my […]
Everything I do I end up quitting or giving up on. I have nothing to live for. I mean what is the point. I see a lot of people happy and I see great potential in them to have an amazing life. As much as I wish I could be like them I’m just not and I never will be anything. Other than my family a few close friends I don’t even think people wold care if I died. And I really want to die, but I’m not going to kill myself for two reasons. One, I don’t know how/too scared to do it/don’t want […]
Hi all, I am 17 years of age and is so closet to finishing highschool but I just don’t want to live and I don’t know why. I have been trying hard to find a purpose, or a joy, or anything to destory that want of death , for the three years that this lack of feeling appeared but nothing is working anymore. There is nothing eles I can turly change anymore, when you are six feet two, black female and as realistic as me … You become numb to the illusion of dating of marriage-it’s impossible- but that’s not why I amm depressed […]
I’m 21 years old…a college dropout, jobless, single, and I got out of the hospital a few weeks ago after trying to hang myself. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 1 and PTSD in 2010 and every time I try to get help it fails. My meds aren’t working and the past two days have been an emotional nightmare as I’ve been preparing to take my life. I don’t want to be talked out of it either…I just want to share my thoughts before I do it.
I’ve been severely depressed since I was a young child. My father was emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive […]
im a 24 year old college student and I think about killing myself a lot and I don’t want to think about that but i cant help it. I can honestly say with each day that goes by my will to live is less, and I think about killing myself more. I think about it a lot, especially right after I wake up and right before I fall asleep, but now recently these thoughts are becoming increasingly more abundant during the day as well. im constantly depressed life seems to be meaningless, hopeless, and even worst I feel so damn empty. I have zero motivation […]
Hello to anyone who is reading this. I am confused and I feel so alone, even surrounded by loved ones and co-workers. I am a well-educated 24 year old female. I have a science degree and took too many psychology courses to count, but somehow I still can’t seem to get my head sorted out. I’ve never really suffered from depression or suicidal thoughts until a few months ago and lately it’s all I can seem to think about. I’ve lost interest in all my formerly beloved hobbies and I have lost my appetite. I find it so hard to pay attention in grad school […]
So, I’m not entirely sure what I hope to gain from this, maybe closure? I don’t know. Not even sure how this would give me closure, or what I need it for…
If I had to describe a depressed person, I doubt I would use me. Someone with a job, caring family, good friends, hobbies. Hell even my dog is great. Yet there is just all the small things. My job is lacking, and kinda crappy. My family… for lack of a better phrase, doesn’t understand me. My friends are funny, good to be around, but I wouldn’t say that any bonds are really there. It […]
they say everything will get better within time…..i feel like everyday just breaks me apart more. I dont know who my friends are anymore. Nobody seems to care. i wait for a text everyday from my ex. i dont have any hobbies or i dont do any sports. im really not good at anything. i feel like i’m incapable of making friends and i feel so awkward with myself. i really dont know what to do…i’m too scared to switch schools and i never even go to my school now. i just want to be loved. I want a boy to hold my hand and […]
Depressed over a romantic failure. How familiar does it sound? I was talking to her for almost a year, but she ended up falling in love with someone she knew for three months. It’s a downer. But why would she fall for someone like me? 24, living at home, can’t find a job, and really awkward. Yes, she said its cute and stuff, but cute goes only so far. And it happens again and again.
Looking into people’s eyes has always been a challenge for me. I stutter. I seem to have no control over the tone of my voice and my facial expressions. This makes […]
I have no friends at school and everyone looks at me like I’m a freak every day. There is a small group of people I normally hang out with, but they just see me as someone who hangs out with them because nobody wants to be friends with the person. Every romantic relationship I’ve ever had ended with every boyfriend either taking advantage of me, cheating on me, or pretending they loved me. I feel like an ugly person and I wanna die already. Nobody would care, not even my own family would care. They hate me so much, and the only person who (sometimes) cares […]
What do you want?
Life can be very difficult, I know how bad it can get, The pain of losing someone is second to none. If you know that pain then i am truly sorry for you. How about that I’m starting to tear up in a public internet cafe in Delhi, and i already kind of stick out!!
Things that have helped me, I mediated three times a day, it is an amazing stress release and it helps me loads, I try to surround myself in friends and new people. Do not hide away, sometimes you need to be alone, but do not linger, loneliness breads depression […]
Im trying to write my final note – But i don’t wanna sound to boring and ” woah is me ” – so without further ado is an excerpt from my suicide letter –
I lost interest in everything , even music , Music was my everything , my comfort , my hobbies , my lifestyle , Even being a piano player for eight years you would think i would have come to love and cherish every moment i could play on my beloved piano- But i was ( excuse me – am) so broken , even my beloved music couldn’t […]
I FEEL REALLY LOST AND ALONE, MY HEAD SEEMS TO BE WINNING THE WAR. IM TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING IT WILL GET BETTER. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION, I NO LONGER HAVE INTERESTS OR HOBBIES, MY FRIENDS ALL HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES, MY GIRLFRIEND IS EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABSENT. I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO. I CANT ESCAPE MY HEAD AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIND THE ANSWERS.
Newer Posts