Why did I even fucking keep trying to find a place to live because now I do have some place to go and I’m just going to disappoint more people when I kill myself in the near future! Now it’s back to being him more than my being homeless. I can’t even talk to him without him finding some way to push me away and dig the knife in deeper like he wants to fucking hurt me all the time!! He can’t just leave it alone and be my friend. he has to constantly push me away and dismiss my feelings as not real and […]
Tag:
hurt
I sit alone crying and afraid to be hurt in the next minute. Then, it hits me. No one likes me, no one helps me, NO ONE F***ING CARES NOR WANTS ME. WHY BOT JUST END IT! WHY WONT I DO IT! I WANT IT!
My sister happened to discover the brilliance of creating art on our skin. She had danced her paintbrush across the canvas, creating a crimson stain, a promised scar awaiting the near future. I know she had to have learned them from somewhere. From someone. The saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has never held such a deep meaning before. She learned it from me. Her big sis. And why don’t I feel guilty for not teaching her the harsh and damaging effects of self damage? Why don’t I feel guilty that she has to conceal her wounds until further notice? I think […]
i’m recovering. I’m recovering from self harm, and have attempted suicide twice. I’ve been clean for a while. I’m trying so hard. Life just seems to be getting worse and worse. Everywhere I go, I feel so mad and sad and I just want to explode. I’m tired of being hurt. All these people fuck me over. I hate it so much. Is there any true people out there? I’d love to meet someone genuine. Someone who isn’t fake and someone who’s not a liar. Just a true person. I’m so tired of being hurt. I’m trying so hard at school. I’m trying to find […]
He has no idea he hurt me
He will never know he abused me
Tore my soul wide open
I hold onto the pain
Like a terrible broken treasure
It’s mine
Only mine
You’re stronger than me
Now we know
You get your way
Now I know
Are you proud?
It wasn’t my first
But I will never forget
The night you thought I was playing
The night you fought for my love
Took the “love” you wanted
I keep the clothes to never forget
The night that zipper broke
My reminder to never trust a guy
Now no one will know
Not even you.
I don’t think I can continue like this. im in so much pain all the time. I want it to stop. I want to die but I don’t want to hurt anyone. maybe I could just get in a horrible accident and god will let me die
Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.
He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, […]
the scars that you see
they are all made by me
and my tears have turn red
with the blood that ive shed
people think im lost to the madness
but really im just cloaked in sadness
i could use a rope or i could use a knife
i see the pain and i see the hurt
i feel my heart begin to burst
why cant they see
that my life
ive been afraid of
me
There’s a silence in the room,
I don’t speak quite like you do.
You got my fingers crossed,
But I’ll catch myself and I’ll wish you off.
And I never thought the words you’d cast would hurt so much.
For that, well I won’t look back.
And I never thought the one you trust would stab your back,
I guess it’s not so bad.
There’s a window in my room,
I can’t see clear like you do.
I won’t move my mouth and I’ll stand up straight just to push you out.
So I can see your insides out,
And figure you out.
And I never thought […]
About two months ago my girlfriend broke up with me, we ended on good terms well in her eyes.. I was destroyed, I thought she was cheating on me because 4 days before she did it she went to hang out with her friend who had a huge crush on her, of what I wasn’t to happy, mainly because it was only going to be them.. She then never said good night or anything she would just disappear, anyway, one of the last things she promised me is that she would never get back with my best friend because he treated her like shit, when […]
Everything has been a downward’s spiral. I don’t really want to do anything anymore, I’m too sad. I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to pack my things for going back to school next week, I don’t want to leave my hometown, but I don’t want to stay. It’s like I need to get away from here because I’m more hurt than not over recent events, but I don’t have anything waiting for me at school either. Unless you count my ex who probably won’t want me back anyway because I gained weight this summer. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to […]
Apparently, people care about me, apparently I should be happy, apparently, I have lots of friends now.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…
Since I finished school last year, only one of my ‘friends’ is thoughtful enough to talk to me just because… and no one else actually cares, I never get invited to anything, I’m always the last to know anything, that is, if I find out to begin with, even among people like me, I’m not particularly welcome, but when they need me for something, I’m a dick if I say no, and when I need them, they always bail or half-ass it, because I’m simply not worth it.
I’m just […]
This is it. I’ve finally reached the ultimate irreversible thought of suicide, and never going back to the ‘so called’ dumb shit life. It’s gonna be a slow suicide anyway, it’ll probably take about 2 weeks for me to be completely dead, without being taken to the hospital. Now the hardest part is to pretend like I’m not dying haha. I’d like to say sincere goodbye to my dumb life, and my closest one’s, who’d hurt me too much that I didn’t want to live anymore. I have no worries that I’m leaving my parents behind. They truly don’t need a worhtless child as me. […]
It feels so empty without him around. My friend, that I met and fell for from day 1, my feelings have just been growing stronger even though I know I don’t have a chance in hell. If I were just half way normal looking and almost a normal size, I might have a chance at the love of my life. Yeah I’m afraid it’s to that point. He has stolen my heart and soul. There are times I get a little aggravated and plenty of times I get hurt in how he can want every girl on the planet but I still don’t have the […]
Life’s a *****, then You Die; Life’s a Gas then You Pass; Life’s a Joke then You Croak
by knewphish
written by knewphish
Tried to see a better way, nope it all is ouch and stink. Add all the enthusiasm for the Hunger Games, Horror shows and a breed that uses murder, force and left-for-dead budgeting for the “us-es” to get their meat, “keep life going”, generally in forced labor, see police…. What a design. Suppose Darwin is right, does this make creation sexually, morally or mentally satisfied? Intelligent Design serves money and efficiency, obsoleting humans (small buses – all abstract concepts).
To who, where or what? I got to experience the thrill of victory or just be the next prisoner or meal, darn. Oh yeah, save the family […]
How do you tell the people who gave you life that you don’t want it anymore?
I’m terrified. I’m trying to tell my parents how I’ve been feeling but I keep putting it off. I am afraid that if I tell them, my mom will either ignore me or yell at me and my dad will be disappointed or hurt me. I just don’t know what to do. At the moment, I would really like to seek professional help. I’ve been feeling really down for years. Actually, it’s more of an on and off kind of thing but it’s getting worse and I’m afraid that I […]
i cant understand people and i will never do . i cant hurt anyone but myself even though everyone tries to hurt me. i just dont wanna exist anymore. people telling lies all around me . others dont believe in me. im a that normal or they are just too blinded. i have gone insane, im telling them that, nobody gives a shit. I cant even write this post without thinking about diffrent topics in the same time. i just feel that nothing else, no one else matters. still looking for that one reason for me to stay alive , and still havent found it. my […]
My mother tells me I’m selfish but she doesn’t know that I didn’t kill myself yet just because I didn’t want to hurt her.
I really need a therapist, I’m constantly telling my parents I need a therapist, but they keep telling me to tell them my problems and the don’t fucken understand. Like they can’t take a hint. They don’t want to get me a therapist because they don’t want to pay the money.
If only they knew I was suicidal.
She had come home from Chicago the night before. She, our roommate and I were drinking and watching Archer. I passed out. I came to with a raw cough in my throat like nothing I’d ever experienced. Turns out I threw up in my sleep and Roommate had to roll me over. He pointed to the soiled pillowcase in the laundry basket.
I heard my girlfriend whimpering low. I was the one in her life who knew her for the shortest amount of time, and yet I was the only one who could discern the barely-perceptible difference between her regular whimpers and the ones that indicated […]
Once there was a girl, a happy girl, full of life and love. She would look on ahead at the future she would experience with joy and excitement. Nothing could touch her.
She went on, loving each day more than the last. Until a darkness touched her. She no longer looked in the mirror to see that smiling young girl looking back at her. Instead she saw death. These days continued, the death growing stronger in her eyes, consuming her will to live. It suffocated her, drowned her in a way that no one could see. She turned away from her friends, thinking all she […]