Where do i start well first and most importantly i love my family but sometimes i feel they dont love me back.I have been having these thoughts for a while now,everything in my life is just gone wrong.For one i cant find a girlfriend but that’s mostly because deep down inside im really afraid of rejection.My sister is on dyalisis and needs a kidney,so me and my mother take of her together because my sisters father was deported a while ago and he has never took […]
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pettiness is starting to upset me more. like i know suffering isn’t a fucking competition or whatever, but it’s one of those things where its like oh your sister didn’t get you the bag you wanted for your birthday? yeah, well my sister fucking kicked me in the stomach so god damn hard i had to lay on the floor for 30 minutes and keep in my fucking pain and all i got from my god damn mother was a ‘im sorry. you’re doing a great job’ as if im doing a great job being my sister’s fucking punching bag. or like when girls complain […]
im 17 i live in the state of iowa and my parents dont want me to be with my boyfriend so right now they dont know im dating him they think im going and hanging out with his sister which i am but im also spending time with him and they dont know im with him and any ways i kinda want to run away but im scared because i dont want to get found and i want to take my pets with me but i know i cant and im so confused i really want to cry why i want out of the house […]
I just turned 23 years old and im a Girl. and i have suicidal thoughts on and off for years. I believe it started in high school. It all began from my dad. He wis an alcoholic and bi polar and did steroids and a manic depressant etc. He didnt take his medicine for bi polar. My nightmare Of a life began in middle but it got really bad when i was about 15. He would get drunk and go in my room and lock me in there with him while he would get in my face, lay on top of me, throw me on […]
Im currently 17 years old. Almost 3 years ago, i was involved in a fatal car crash with my 3 best friends whom i loved more than my own family. i grew up with them and spent every chance possible with them from the time i was born until that fateful night. I feel as if its my fault. We always agreed on doing things before we did them. Its like we were all one person. We were as close as you could possibly get to someone. I got a text message inviting me to a party. I brought the party up to them and […]
ok so about 9 months ago i started dating this guy named mike and we would last 3-4 months break up and get back together about 3 months ago we broke up and hardly talked for thoes three months but then about 2 weeks ago i started talking more to his sister cause shes pretty cool and then i startd talking to him again because this whole time we have been broken up hes all i can think about… well we made plans that after i worked saturday i would get picked up and go to mikes sisters house, kim, but then friday mike was […]
looking at post i wanted to get in touch with writer but the dates were old, so ill post, the writer said he just bot the tank, cracked it a bit and wallaaaaah… im having trouble with the 400 dollar price of the exit site regulator and the welder supply said they have nothing at all that allows a constant flow….(oops this was for a helium idea, now im thinking ********) Someone said they know all about ******** here, could you tell me why i cant just crack it open and walllaaaahh, actually, this would be as close as i can get so it would […]
I havent been on here for almost a year, I wish i could say im a better person. The loneliness got so bad I actually decided to force myself to go to school. I lasted several monthes until I got so miserable I went back on independent study. I cant for the life of me understand why im so fucked in the head, in the time at school I actually made some friends. But of course, they slip through my fingers once I went on independent study. I did gain one thing from my time there, i met a girl. A beautiful mexican girl, we […]
If i put on a fake smile and pull down my sleeves, they wont know and they wont get mad at me… they still dont know what happened that day… or the other days… im ashamed and scared to tell them the whole story…
I keep thinking about going to therapy again… it never helped me before though… I dont know what to do… i dont exactly have cash on hand for an appointment… Admit myself back into a hospital???… ive never been with a bunch of other adults though… just adolescents… im too terrified of the adults there… would i have to stay for a really long time??? how much would i have to pay for it??? is it even worth it at all??? a knife or water can end it all much faster for me with little to no major pain… id be free, well, sort of… […]
you know i feel depressed i feel like i really shouldn’t be here anymore i feel like i don’t belong here on earth or anywhere. I know this sounds lame or dumb or you’ve heard it before i know and i’m sorry but god damn sometimes you have to understand we’re human to you know. I’ve just been down more then usual. I don’t feel like myself anymore for some reason. I feel like i’ve just lost all hope and its just bringing me and others down. Should i just end it or should i wait and see if it gets better like people say […]
I met my beautilful girlfriend at work, I have been single for 13 years so I could raise my 2 girls, they are older now so I wanted to find someone. I loved everything about my gf, beautiful, inteligent, her speacial smile just for me, she called me babe or love. She has 3 kids, was in an abusive marriage, last 3 boyfriends cheated on her, I told her I loved her with all my heart and would never hurt her or cheat on her. I would pick her and her baby up in morning, drop baby at babysitter and drive us to work, pick […]
So Im new here. Kind of. Ive kinda been browsing this site on an off since I first found in in 2013. I don’t even really know why I’m posting here now. I’ve never posted here before cause i felt like I couldn’t. Like I wasn’t supposed to that it was wrong to. I mean what right do I have to come to some community an post about how shitty I feel?
But here I am.
I’ve tried to kill myself several times before. And I kinda think I might try again soon. Im just. Fucking done with everything. Im just tried of being used and thrown […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
soo…hi.. ^^
well i dont know where to start…i became 17 last december…since i was a kid i fucked up everything..
literally everything…school..relatives.. even my parents dont want me with them..im not good at studying..
im just useless..my family wanst a good one either.. parents devorced..had to live with step mom..and it was horrible.. then i went to cyprus
where my mom worked..i wasnt good with my step father either..i just didnt know how to communicate..
slowly i go used to people..language..made friends.. still..i was lonely..even tho i laugh..i feel really empty..my mom was complaining about how low my grades are..
that i stuck to […]
life is killing me. for the last 3 years i’ve held it sort of together but I have no strength anymore- mentally emotionally or even physically.
the man who abused me 3 years ago is the only person who understands how and why im broken- hes the one who did this. i hate with such contempt the only person who ‘gets me’.
The kid I loved like a brother, depended on him to keep preaching how everything will be okay, that one day I can go home where there’s no sadness, well he gave up, said he cant help me anymore.
my mum said i’m making […]
I wanted to keep trying and i wanted to live, but i literally can’t anymore. Im just a hollow shell of whoever i used to be. I thought that maybe i could be somebody, but i should have known better. Im nothing but a failure. I just want to be able to finally reach happiness i guess.
I don’t know how long I can even go on now. Everything anyone says just hurts to hear and I just want to be able to be strong, but I’m pretty sure thats just an unrealistic dream.
Everyone around me expects so much and they just say ‘Be happy!’ and […]
This isn’t a “woe is me” post and I apologize in advance if it comes across that way. I dont think my issues or my life is any worse than anyone else here. Im presently numb and seem to be somehow getting more and more so as the days pass. I feel so absolutely and completely overwhelmed that it’s like I cannot handle anything else so I have become numb. I have been severely depressed and suicidal for awhile now, but have tried my best to hold on. There is nothing left to cling to.
My injury seven years ago left me with continual physical pain. […]
its not an easy life i live its far from it, the fact that i hear voices telling me i’m going to die and they are going to come after me till i die is extremely petrifying and that is just the tip of the ice berg i live in constant fear that someone is trying to kill , that someone is in the house trying to get me, i always hear foot steps as if they are right behind me, im scared to sleep of even shutting my eyes for that matter i don’t sleep for 3-4 days at a time till i pass […]
My life story is crazy. There aren’t enough paragraphs to explain it all and I dont want to bore you with all of the details. I can tell you that Ive had two different therapists tell me that I needed to write a book because no one would believe all of it. The very short jist is a rough childhood, abuse, lots of anxiety and fear, bad relationships and much much more resulting in ptsd, depression and anxiety. I tried my damndest to overcome what I could and try to make a life for myself. I had a great job, great relationship, great income and […]