Anyone else ? I have been diagnosed with paranoia, Im a pretty crazy girl. I think extreme things and with mental illness it becomes hard to live, because people dont know why are you acting that way..they dont get it, I cried yesterday because i thought my friend was going to leave me, but there was nothing like that, im worried all the time, im taking medications to calm myself down, its hard to live like this, how do i act normal like everyone ? little things push me to suicide, i like the idea of death, i like how they put the dead bodies […]
Tag:
im
Why movie , game , novel , comics , book , anime/manga , human’s IMAGINATION is FAR much better than this boring Reality / real world / real life ??
by niki
written by niki
Why movies is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why video games is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why novels is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why comics is much better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why anime/manga is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
in conclusion :
Why human’s IMAGINATION is better & more interesting than this boring […]
The only time when I am happy
Is when Im out of this reality
Its when I close my eyelids
And dissapear from everything
I wish I dont have to wake up
I wish I could be like sleeping beauty
Sleep till the true kiss wakes her up
And live happily ever after
But im no princess
Im just a slave to every person that I know
I’ll be suffering all day long
But not when im asleep
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why are u lying to me ?
That’s not me , that reflection
Why are u only show things that I wanna see
Im ugly Fat And unworthy
And there is nothing that I like about me
My boyfriend said im pretty
But I doubt it cuz he hates me
He hit me when Im sad n gloomy
He yell and cuss , makes me feel unworthy
Family ignored me
Friends walk away from me
All I have is me but
there is nothing that I can like about me anymore
The hatred that I have for myself is infinity
I watched this movie today called gimmie shelter.the girl basically had a hard life crazy mother rich dad who didnt want her.but in the end she got her happy ending.i would say only in the movies but this was based off a true story.what i wonder is why cant i ever get things right.this girl probably still has worries and hardships but her life will still be better than mine. Cause she got the help she needed.im twenty one all i think about is suicide and its starting to seem like thats all i know.and that would be great except ive never made […]
ive been up for 2 days now, no sleep. im so damn sad. ive got no friends to tell things to. ive got an issue on my hands. a very big damn issue.. dont know what to do. when someone asks me what’s wrong, that just makes the whole situation a lot worse. Hysterical crying begins because of my shittiness and non self-worth. honestly, im not good at anything, i really dont like people that much, and the people that i do like, i’ve pushed every damn one away. I’m pretty sure i’m bi-polar now, cause i went through one of those mania phases last […]
Tryed the rope around my neck and slowly go Down in knees. Just to try how it feels. Im scared for What happens next? I get dizzy and then stand up again. How long Will it take to be unconsious? Im not from US so sorry for Any spelling mistakes.
I have had it with everything.
for all im concerned I have had a pretty good upbringing.
although my mother liked to drink a lot and party and take drugs, she looked after me and my siblings well, that’s what I thought.
everyone els wanted to take me and my brothers and sisters away from her. they got there wish.
and she just started picking herself up and I was going to live with her again.. the only person I trusted, loved, felt safe around… she died a year ago..
since then I have been picked on and bullied.. I have tried suicide a fue […]
Sick of this life and people. Sooo sick. Im hated. Im bullied. Im tired. Now. Im tired. No im not sad I want the end sooner now
Its not like Im some teenage girl going through tough times. iam a 20 year old adult who wants to be free, i dont care what it takes, i dont even care anymore about anything, i’ll be doing it for myself and only myself to free myself from this world, because this world is black, and i have seen colors, i have enjoyed here but not anymore, im not sad, i know this is the right thing to do and i will be getting hold of a gun soon, guns are fast, and they suit my personality.
Im isolating myself more and more for every day that passes. I feel completly, and utterly alone. This is something I feel I need to do- to minimize the damaged for the once I love. I have had no contact with any of my friends during the summer… and well, Im planning on giving them the cold shoulder once I get back to school. Distans is key to break as few hearts as possible I do belive.
But hey,if anyone feels like talking im all up for it. It’d be nice have a conversation that last more then a few words.
I’ve made a facebook, where im […]
now thats a song i could die to thats a song i could cloce my eyes and stop my heart to thats a song i could shut down my braine to and let my taterd sole be huged and kissed by an angel to thats a song that gives me hope in the dark gives a reson to die for me but i whant to be here with her im only going if she goes and hopefuly she whont but if she dose thats what i will go to so i can be held by the mother earth and her so i can smile close […]
Call it mercy, call it hope call it however you want to, but, i decided to become an organ donor before the end so the fact that i dont want this body nor this life can help others live and enjoy their lives to the best, also because of this resolution poison is no longer an alternative, just can’t seem to find the rigth way to get out, im collapsing, every second i crumble more and more, im traped in this barless pprision thats my body, i just cant get out, i want to sleep forever to never wake again, i must put an end […]
i see my self not just as a wast of space but as a thing to be toyed with its all i have been all my life i had hope but now shes drifting away im loseing evreything i love in the space of a few weeks befor i left for a wile befor i came back here i had some ider of what i was doing but now love and my mind are fading and my hope if i had any is gone
my sole is cold and leeking out of my body im a ship in space drifting a hulk thats all i am a emptey […]
It feels like the only way to get people to care is if your dead or in critical condition man I swear if I had a gun id blow myself away.i just got out out of the er for trying to kill myself twice in one day. They let me in the morning and by night time I was back and they let me go again.the reason im upset though is cause the psychiatrist said my problems are not considered a crisis. I dont usually speak up for myself but I wish I had told him to go fuck himself.i have put off suicide attempts […]
why do i bother aparantly im a lier whats the fucking point in shearing things in a place i thought was safe i give up
“oh dear babe what am i going to do with you dont cry ok im here”
this was after my last time i tryed to leve i could feel her there huging me from 1000 miles away
Im not going, who else are skipping work and college/school because of this tiredness? I dont think I can face people, Im listening to slipknot and wondering about several things, I dont think I can make it, My college doesnt take it seriously everyone skips but they dont have mental illness as the reason, the weather is all suicidal… its dark outside and im in a mood of death
Hello everyone here.Iam a long time reader of sp, I just made an account and i have psychotic depression, paranoia, high anxiety and extreme mood swings for which im on medications now. I have attempted suicide twice in three years, was hospitalised like the rest of you.. I want the end i dont care how difficult it is to die i know one day i will do it. Im in love with a girl who is still stuck in her ex, I have a habit of making people my life, so when they say or do something i dont like i get depressed. little things […]
walking down cold halls stone of the underground
waxing the words strate out of my head the candel burns
the blood red pane in my forgoten sole
did i see this comeing a life of pane and hurt
was there a time i was happy
were my heart didunt explode in to fragments with the wakeing of the sun
was there ever a time were i was hear at all
was there a time were people looked at me full stop!
was there a time were i was saine!
was there a time were i was loved…
the world falls in to darkness and i with it fall
people try to fix me look in to […]