this depression i cant get over. im almost 23 years old n life isnt life anymore. 10 years of this bullshit. numerous attempted suicides. july 5, 2012 i thought was it for me. i had taken 60+ pills. i just didnt care anymore. at one point i had it all. a job, school, living in my own apartment. today im jobless, living at home with my parents who could care less about my problems, and a single parent. that day i woke up and had completely given up on life. i remember the paramedics trying to talk to me. i was to drugged up for […]
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im
I started cutting myself when I was 11 years old, after my best friend die from cancer. My mom was everything to me, when she left I felt like there was no point in being happy when the person you love is gone now. With my mom I feel like im nothing with out her she was my everything. People ask how im doing all I have to do is put a FAKE SMILE on so that they dontsee right through me. WHAT IS LIFE ABOUT ANYMORE!!
I want to die. I really want to die, because I can’t take anymore of this hell. I’m a sophomore in high school, and barely hanging on. Parents hate me, telling me that theyve been trying to tell me they’re doing things for me. How can I believe that when they get pissed off at everything I do that they hate, whether it be major or trivial, and tell me to lie for their benefit? And I get beaten for it, no matter what I do. All I ask is for peace, yet no matter how much I try to get good grades, I can’t. […]
im shivering
im cold
im crying
im broken
im alone
im terrified
im shivering
doors close
radio on
darkness within
no light
pain hurts
hurting now
doors close
feeling lonely
feeling useless
feeling worthless
feeling terrible
feeling hurt
feeling suicidal
feeling lonely
i scream
i yell
i talk
i whisper
i hear
i listen
i scream
within me
within darkness
within pain
within hurt
within loneliness
within brokenness
within me
I cant remember a time when i wasn’t depressed, how long has it been for you? i think im going on about 3 years years now….but then again ive only been alive for 16
Hi Guys,
Sorry it’s so late… I just don’t feel like posting anymore… I don’t feel like continuing with these daily posts… I just don’t feel like writing things down anymore. I think it’s better for me and for everyone if I just bottle things up. So…. I think I’m going to stop… I’ll keep writing… Just not every day… If you didn’t see one of my last posts about this topic here it is:
ive decided to bottle things up again. ive decided that it doesnt matter if im breaking, broken, or perfectly fine. it doesnt matter that i want a hug. it doesnt matter […]
im 14 and i did something stupid along time ago and because of it. my family had to move out of the country and then my dad lost his job and it had continued to go downhill from there. i cant take it anymore. i want it to end but i cant leave. i cant brig my self to the jump. but im getting closer each time and im sick of it!. i gone down a long road of self harm and alcohol. everyone blames me and all i can think about is that i deserve it!
yes I wish I could just give my life to someone who was dying for some one facing death yet  wanted to live that’s how bed I want to die im going to end my life soon as I find a good way to end it im 51 years old and sick of life
SERIOUSLY i cant live any longer. i have failed at everything and am too weak of a person to pick myself up, and im too weak to kill myself.
i never delayed gratification growing up just always drowned my pain in smoking pot.
i craved adventure and always seeked for more, till one day in highschool my depression kicked in.
my time has come for me to go. i’ve contemplated hanging, and jumping in front of a train, no. i cant do it.
if we’re gonna die , might as well make it worthwhile.
so the question is, is there anybody serious out there ? anybody in the state of […]
ive decided to bottle things up again. ive decided that it doesnt matter if im breaking, broken, or perfectly fine. it doesnt matter that i want a hug. it doesnt matter that i feel so broken and in pain at times. it doesnt matter. me. i dont matter. my feelings dont matter. everything about me doesnt matter. what matters if you guys are okay. if you are okay good. i dont matter. it doesnt matter. my life. my feelings. my pain. it doesnt matter at all. what so ever.
ive also decided that im going to start lying. if you ask me how i am […]
what is the problem with leaving me be why is it i have to stay downstairs in a room with an adult why is it that school is my hell hold but when im home thats my mental hospital, why cant i just be alone in my room sliting my wrists why cant i just be who i am and not be changed by the people who dont even give two fucks about me they are just scared of me incase im mental and insane because they dont understand this pain but they just have to change me and have to think about how safer […]
I hate the fact how i can do good not being sucidal and staying out of hospitals.Then you make one stupid mistake and it ruins everything.My mistake was being curious and that curiousity led me to find the pills my mom hid away..I now have a bunch of those pills and dont know when i will snap and try to kill myself.I just know i cant help it and it willl happen.I will try to kill myself at some point.Ive only told my best friend she asked if she could tell my parents i threatened to do it sooner if she did.I felt bad about […]
Trust is a powerful word and most don’t even realize it but i learned through to many experiences that no one in this world can be 100% trusted. I trusted a group of people from a small town i used to live in and look where that got me…it ended up with me getting bullied day in and day out i trusted every girlfriend i have ever had and look ive been cheated on and used or the bullshit brake up lines like ” its not you its me ” and always over text or by Facebook. I know that their are other people in […]
I dont even know where to start. Actually, i do want to start by saying this site and all who do respond and comment have given me strength to try and better myself. Thank you all. But life doesnt like when i start to fix myself, unfortunately.
Today was just so overwhelming. I stopped getting on here for about a wk just to focus completely on me and i thought i was getting better. My husband/fiance whatever told me we had an appt with our counselor and i HAD to go. I didnt want to but i he kept insisting that nothing bad was […]
SERIOUSLY i cant live any longer. i have failed at everything and am too weak of a person to pick myself up, and im too weak to kill myself.
i never delayed gratification growing up just always drowned my pain in smoking pot.
i craved adventure and always seeked for more, till one day in highschool my depression kicked in.
my time has come for me to go. i’ve contemplated hanging, and jumping in front of a train, no. i cant do it.
if we’re gonna die , might as well make it worthwhile.
so the question is, is there anybody serious out there ? anybody in the state of […]
Hi Guys,
Umm…. So I think I have decided something… I’m not going to continue with these posts… Sorry… It’s just I am running out of things… My life is now boring… I mean all it is now is wake up, starve myself, go to sleep. I mean do you really want to hear that every day?
Sooo yeahh…. If you do want me to continue just leave a comment saying so…
How am I? Physically: Meh, could be better, but it could be worse. Mentally: My mind is chaotic.
My physical state… Well you know how I injured my shoulder maybe a week ago? Yeah well last night […]
am i stable
no
am i okay
no
am i fine
no
im not doing okay
im not doing fine
must you be worried about me?
must you care about me?
we all know
im trying my best
to recover
we all know
im trying in my own way
to recover
we all know
we all have special ways
to recover
this is mine
i know its not
the best way
but its my way
and maybe it’ll work.
im just tired of my life..having to wake up each day is such an effort! makes me not want to get up.. there’s an emptiness I cant explain and an isolation that crushes me every minute of the day. I know I’m depressed but nothing has really helped me.. don’t know why I’m still alive to be honest. if I die, maybe i’ll finally have an escape that I yearn for..
Hi Guys,
So… Yeah I’m here… Yay? So yeah… Um yeah…
A lot has happened to me… I started talking to an adult about my problems so that’s good… Bad thing… It’s someone that’s not related… I mean I guess it’s not that bad but I don’t know….
How am I? Physically: Could be better Mentally: Could be tons better
My physical state… I don’t know…
My mental state…. Suicidal thoughts are taking over….
I’m sorry this is short… It’s been a rough day…
Here’s your poem:
i don’t know much
im afraid to speak my mind
im afraid to say
im afraid so much
i don’t know a lot
all i […]