You ever feel so empty that you begin to suck yourself into this abyss? You wish you could blame them and sometimes you do; but there’s always that tiny little voice that reminds you that it’s actually your fault, that you did this to yourself. And you know that voice is a LIE; you scream it to yourself everyday that that voice is trying to push you past the point of no return, but the voice sounds so right that eventually you think of the nearby overpass and wonder if it would hurt if you fell. And the most stupid thing about all this is […]
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in the end
Well, wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t at the end of my figurative rope. What do you do, if life just ain’t… fun… anymore? Nobody gives a damn about you. You got nobody to vent to, to talk to… Except the anonymity of the internet… Sure, your sick dad, wife, and kids all DEPEND on you… But they take you for granted day after day. And your elderly dad, you realize, never did jack shit for you… You were an inconvenience to him and your mother…an accident, she gladly told you her whole life. He never took time off from work for you, yet now […]
I can’t seem to do it. I have adhd. I get jobs and I try hard and in the end it’s always the same. I’m not going to kill myself because I know how it would screw up my kids, but I really want to die. I thought this time would be different. I got an ADHD coach, and I worked harder than I ever have to keep everything together. I loved my work. I kept a positive attitude.
i feel so hopeless. I’m so tired of feeling defeated. What’s it like to be good at something? Yes I want to kill myself. I just can’t.
lots […]
I simply don’t look at life the same way others do. You can look at is as a miracle but I see it as a simple meaningless cycle. We laugh, we smile, and we cry but in the end it is ALL for nothing, you die. You die and then those who remembered you will die and then you are forgotten. I’d give the same advice to those I will leave behind “be strong, look on the bright side, things will get better.” Just when will they? If you’re telling me this everyday and nothing is changing then you are lying. Some say life is […]
Today, 09/05, I just turn 25. I am just so blessed for being able to complete another year of my life.
So very blessed.
Today was a day like all days, nothing out of the ordinary. Simple, normal, even monotonous I could say. But it’s ok; it makes me happy just being alive. I make sure my parents hear me saying that. I am so blessed. (help me). I am finishing my Production Engineering course at the end of the year and I am glad. (please help me) this is definitely what I want for my life. I make sure my friends hear me saying that. (somebody) […]
I do everything for you. You do nothing for me. You have come to expect me to drop everything and do whatever you ask. you’re a grown man…act it . Be responsible for your own shit. It’s all about poor you…you’ve destroyed me in your path. I have to get out from under you in order to survive. If you are there in the end things will be different but I have my suspicions that you will be long gone, when the favors stop.
I’ve been wanted to end my life even at a young age because of the loneliness I felt inside my heart. I use to get bullied when I was young and I was pushed around with no one to help me. I barely made friends because they found me weird and ugly. I made some a few years before high school who were good people but none could ever understand me. I always felt misunderstood and hopeless. High school was the worst time of my life for freshmen and softmore year. I couldn’t stand school and I felt so lonely I even just felt the urge […]
Some time life’s great tell you realized your quest in life Is Worth it but only to you .in the end do people really care about u .or were u just part of a lust full delusion of an illusion. I’m happy in life and have no real issues to speak of ..but I feel like seeing what’s in my next life .
I refuse to let whoever the fuck is running things up there, the satisfactions of watching me, suffer, wither and die an early death by suicide. I refuse to give up, even though I have all the odds against me, even though I can’t love myself, cause there’s always regression to the mean; Things can’t always be good, but they can’t always be bad either, it has to mean out. I refuse to let my future loved ones down, by swallowing the pills in my hand. I refuse to give up on myself; i refuse to die unhappy, alone and young. I’ll fight […]
Part of me still hopes for a safe resolution, maybe find someone that is not a religious crack head to try to repair me? Is just false hope, I know that. I’ve known that for some time. I wonder why I kept holding on to this noise. I knew that everyone was going to walk away, to move on.
Everyone moves on, in the end we are nothing but memories that linger in time and eventually fade into nothing. Unless you find one of those people that can never forget. If such a thing even exists.
I’ve been researching more locations in the area that […]
I keep dreaming of a different life
I keep hoping to be a better person
I keep praying for a brighter sun
Yet I keep holding this knife
A new start they say
Its your chance to be whatever you want
But every time I try to imagine, my mind taunts me
With these fantastic images of what may be one day
You’ll be a hero, a friend, a savior
You’ll change the world for the better
You’l finally forget her
You’ll finally change your behavior
These pictures in my head
I can see they are lies
And I know that even if I tried
Soon, I’d just […]
I really do, i feel humans invent these fake ‘gods’ to make us feel like there is some point to it all. Its like that line in that Dylan song ‘All along the watchtower’ : ‘some of us here feel that life is but a joke’ its like ever since i heard that line many years ago i feel it resonate with me.
Its like who cares ‘who’ you are, how much money you make, how much you impress other people at the end of our existence what does it all matter anyway. Who cares if you indulge in certain unhealthy activities, life is short just […]
I have had it with everything.
for all im concerned I have had a pretty good upbringing.
although my mother liked to drink a lot and party and take drugs, she looked after me and my siblings well, that’s what I thought.
everyone els wanted to take me and my brothers and sisters away from her. they got there wish.
and she just started picking herself up and I was going to live with her again.. the only person I trusted, loved, felt safe around… she died a year ago..
since then I have been picked on and bullied.. I have tried suicide a fue […]
Around this time last year, things were going so well. Was working towards a job, was feeling positive and got a real pretty girlfriend.
I didn’t really get the job in the end, I felt really shitty, and me being schizo I went on a rampage took it all out on my gf, and lost her too…
I was so fkin heartbroken I vowed to myself I wouldn’t be with anyone else until I had my feet on the ground…
I use to be quite good with women and I kind of just threw it all in the drain on purpose cuz of the break-up and how it […]
After much contemplation, I’ve concluded that life is essentially pointless. It doesn’t make me depressed as much as it makes me apathetic to much that happens. But there is a certain freedom to apathy. It helps me see things for what they are, not through some emotional distortion, and see that life’s really not that complicated. In the end, enjoying life is the only worthwhile pursuit. And if you find yourself unable to enjoy life due to your circumstances, then you’re pretty much screwed (I’ve also concluded that life is inherently unfair).
Also, this site could do with a little DEATH METAL!….on the ukulele.
Everything I do is worthless,everything I feel is useless,everything I hope for is always a cruel mirage and my soul is so full of pain I don’t feel like I have any strength anymore to keep forcing myself to live,what for? in the end life just hurts you,people take advantage of you the more sensitive and empathy you feel the worst and unlike they say it never actually gets better is all a lie it just lifts you up with a false pretense to throw you against the ground while it laughs at you and there you go again like a masochist standing up in order […]
How do you tell them?
How do you tell them that you don’t want help?
How do you tell them that you don’t want to find a new job?
How do you tell them you don’t want to find someone else?
How do you tell them you don’t want to move away again?
How do you tell them you don’t want to start over?
How do you tell them you don’t even want to leave the house?
How do you tell them you don’t want to sleep?
How do you tell them you don’t want to be awake?
How do you tell them that none of those things make the emptiness go away?
How do tell […]
Im so a fuck up in life it always seems that I can’t do anything right i will try to buy thing to fulfill the empty void that i feel or reduce the feeling by putting myself into situation or doing things that i feel will help with the pain but i always come back and i sit here and think why don’t i just end it I could there notting to hold me back anymore nobody would really care you would move on it seems like everyday that past my life falls apart piece by piece I’m spiraling out of control yet nobody can […]
She’s proud of herself but she won’t tell you why
It has now been a month since she’s last even tried.
The voices won’t stop but today she’s won
She put down her razor and put down her gun.
After hours of thinking silently to herself
She goes and picks up her old friend off the shelf.
Overwhelmed with emotions she picks up her blades
and disposed of the evil that would send her to the grave.
So for the first time in awhile her lips crack a smile
It won’t be easy but in the […]
Through the eyes of a child,
Everythings new.
The whole world around them,
All that they do.
All that they see,
All they can feel.
They learn it from us,
And they learn it is real.
They learn how to love,
They learn how to hate.
Growing each day,
They learn even more.
Some live in good homes,
Some get kicked on the floor.
Life teaches us well,
That we’re really alone.
Life teaches us hell.
To be as cold as a stone.
Do unto others,
As they would do unto you.
What a lie that is,
Coz they’ll still screw you.
In the end […]