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in the

I’m barriers to his exit

by deep 4/21/2015

written by deep

hello everybody.

what would you do if…?

your partner wanted to go his own way, live his own way, cut all the links with people he has known and live as a hermit, wanderer in the forests far away from the human noise?

He was just about to do it when we first met. He’s a man-hater and says he could live without people happily. He despises the whole system, machinery, life full of bans, laws, taxes and doctors.

He often reminds me of his wish and lately, I have been feeling worthless and an idea came to my mind: If I weren’t here, he could have fulfilled his […]

4/21/2015 4 comments

A short story I wrote back in high school

by majesticwalrus 4/21/2015

written by majesticwalrus

Seriously, I wrote this as a kid, don’t judge it too harshly, hopefully it’ll distract you guys from your worries for a bit.

You know how it is, when there’s someone who wants to be your friend but you don’t want to be theirs, and you can’t ever tell them you don’t like them because it would hurt their feelings. So every time you see them you say hi and talk but you never really hang out with them one on one. They might suggest it, but you always have some excuse, you hang out with them in a group if at all.

Michael was like that […]

4/21/2015 1 comment

A darker time with rays of light

by positivebeing 4/21/2015

written by positivebeing

It was June 2013 and a friend recommended me to a self help workshop called world works. It was a cult. They used sleep deprivation and yelling techniques to control 30 of us in a room with limited breaks. There a 3 levels of the program and I reached level 2. I quit after that but they were still bothering me writing nasty texts and kept calling me. They were awful and tried to make you feel terrible. My friend asked me whats the matter. I thought not talking about would make it go away and it didn’t. I felt like I was being followed […]

4/21/2015 4 comments

my best friend is a jerk

by bnubs1 4/20/2015

written by bnubs1

my best friend has turned into a total jerk lately. he has literally taken the only thing i cared about and then threw it away like it was trash. he’s taken the past two girls I’ve actually liked from me one of them while he was still hooking up with my ex-girlfriend. he’s stopped talking to me completely and still tries to hang out with all our other friends without me. granted we all talk about it behind his back and we all kinda hate him now. i had decided this guy was gonna be my best man at my wedding. we’ve known each other […]

4/20/2015 1 comment

I´ve had it with life!

by tomcat42 4/20/2015

written by tomcat42

I´m going to have to have dialysis again, I´m being accused of a crime I didn´t comit, impossible to find a good woman. Just can´t stand my life and it failures and people keep asking me for money in the street. I´m so angry with everything…

4/20/2015 0 comment

Clouds

by cephalus 4/20/2015

written by cephalus

Set to the music “The Fool on the Hill.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNfS9Ywb2Cc

I have become the clouds. No feelings, just expression. They only appreciate in passing. A compliment here, a compliment there, their heads turn back, to the ground. Beautiful, for those that look. But I am not beautiful, its just a point of view. Clouds at night, hidden from everyone. Unable to see no matter how hard you strain. Sadness, happiness, productive. Irrelevant. No one understands the work that goes into forming me. The sun, creating a phase transition of water, condensing back down… I form rain, snow, thunder. Some hate, others love. Emotionless either way. Some fly […]

4/20/2015 3 comments

This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?

by niki 4/20/2015

written by niki

I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?

everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]

4/20/2015 5 comments

Silence is my Insanity

by LaFreakALeShow 4/20/2015

written by LaFreakALeShow

Silence is my insanity,

Mother, Mother, stop beating me.

Silence is my laughter,

Father, Father, don’t slaughter her.

We all make mistakes, We all make mistakes,

Stop all this madness and remove all the breaks.

Silence is my sanity,

So why won’t it help me?

4/20/2015 2 comments

Everything was good until my last court hearing.

by Benjamin2004 4/19/2015

written by Benjamin2004

I’d gone almost sixty days since my last suicidal thought. My court date last week changed all of that and suicide is again heavy on my mind. Now I am faced with the prospect of my future self being happier than my current self. Which do I believe. I don’t see happiness in the future.

4/19/2015 1 comment

Need a little push out the door

by Canyon 4/19/2015

written by Canyon

Alcohol… makes me feel great for a few hours then horrible for about 24. Last night I drank two-thirds of a bottle of wine, way too much for this middle-aged woman. Pills have never been my friend and I try to avoid sedatives as much as possible, but insomnia, a companion since childhood seriously kicked in the past few months along with my suicidal tendencies, and I’ve been reaching for that bottle of pills too often. While the pill hangover is zombie-like the booze makes me want to die even more than ever.

In the past year I’ve managed to almost completely isolate […]

4/19/2015 7 comments

So scared of myself

by FeelingFunny 4/19/2015

written by FeelingFunny

My life has finally come crashing down once again. So much has happened in the last 48hrs, too much to handle, and it’s too late to fix anything. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I fucked up. In so so many ways I have fucked up. 48hrs is so short, but trust me, I’m too late.

4/19/2015 12 comments

Listen,or don’t read this or don’t

by falling_soup 4/19/2015

written by falling_soup

http://youtu.be/bFHKBCz-ml0

I have been in this place one to many times. I have been in the deep dark depths of my mind and I can’t seem to escape from my sadness. I have been able to recover and travel a long way in my life and saying FUCK YOU to those who have fucked me over and choose to bully me and beat me down. I come here out of all places to receive love and support not to be bullied. I have been beaten down so many times and I have been pushed to the ground. I don’t want to be here anymore and I […]

4/19/2015 2 comments

It never fully seems to go away…

by misssK88 4/19/2015

written by misssK88

I’ve had two serious suicide attempts:

The first time I tried to kill myself (around age 14) was after my best friend had done the same a week prior and I couldn’t stand living without him. I chose to hang myself, but the beam I used to tie the rope on ended up snapping. I fell, hit my head and was knocked unconscious. My mother heard me fall and found me up in the attic and then called the EMS. I had a huge lump on my head, which ended up being a mild concussion and my throat was all sore and messed up afterwards. I […]

4/19/2015 3 comments

Is Extreme Solitude Selfish

by teana 4/19/2015

written by teana

I have become increasingly withdrawn from people in the last few months and in doing so I have improved my physical health and acquired new hobbies of reading and piano, which I neglected for a long time. I’m in college now, but I was wrapped up in a materialistic/superficial mindset ever since middle school and I feel like I’m just starting to get to know myself again. So I feel good about these growing aspects of myself but am constantly plagued by guilt of questioning whether I’m an “evil” or bad person…I know these can be symptoms of depression. I don’t feel that I can […]

4/19/2015 3 comments

Why it is like that what it is?

by MoonShine 4/19/2015

written by MoonShine

What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind?
Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery?
Why should one person be a mental prodigy, and another an idiot?
Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies?
Why should some be linguistic, artistic, mathematically inclined, or musical from the very cradle?
Why should others be congenitally blind, deaf, or deformed?|
Why should some be blessed, and others cursed from their births?

4/19/2015 10 comments

noob

by SallysLament 4/17/2015

written by SallysLament

Um, hi. So I’ve been visiting this site for a quite a few months now and finally feel like I dont want to lurk in the shadows any more. Perhaps its because my bf of seven years just broke up with me and I finally feel like I seriously want to end it now. Maybe I am just an attention seeking weakling that should just get over it… idk. All I do know is that I feel different about suicide now. Before the thoughts were scary but now they offer a sense of comfort. Planing different ways I could do it is more exciting to […]

4/17/2015 5 comments

Wish Someone would put me out of My Misery

by JustReallySad 4/17/2015

written by JustReallySad

Saw my new counselor today, for I think the 3rd time. She’s nice and all, but I think naïve. Nothing she says really makes me feel any better. Next week she says we’re going to work on the grief I’m feeling over the breakup of my marriage. Sounds like a good plan to me, but I don’t really see myself getting over being dumped after 24 years of marriage. Taking new anti-depressant but its not helping. Visiting with my son tomorrow which is good, but in a way he just reminds me how much the ex hates me. The misery is just a constant now, […]

4/17/2015 4 comments

After reconciling my husband left me again

by jenn1983 4/16/2015

written by jenn1983

He reconciled with me went for counselling with me while his restraining order was still on. He broke that and also moved in with me. He asked me to lie in the court so he could not have a record. I did that and the day judgment came out: all charges withdrawn, he left me.

So distraught over this. What am i suppose to do?

4/16/2015 5 comments

Every, every, every day the same SHIT!

by flatliner 4/16/2015

written by flatliner

The title says it all. Every single day i am so fucking depressed and nothing can change that. Many people say tomorrow will be a new and different day and that you will be better. BULSHITS! I am so fucking desperate and every day that i wake up from the 10 minutes that i can close my fucking eyes nothing gets better and nothing is improved. My depression becomes worse and worse, and when i think that this pattern will continue in the following years makes me sad and desperate. Suffering never ends…

4/16/2015 6 comments

It turned out bad

by deep 4/15/2015

written by deep

hell, I was so happy last year. New flat, new work, old friends, the most amazing boyfriend in my life…and now?
I fear death. Not my own. I can’t bear the thought of surviving while my beloved one doesn’t. I can’t see my beloved die, so I die first. don’t we have the right to choose and push the escape button?

It is so dangerous to love and then fear the death of that loving person.

4/15/2015 6 comments

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