I am a 20 year old female attending university within my home town. I honestly feel lost within my own life. I am a waste of space. I do not know how to cook, terrible at cleaning, and struggle to manage a workload in school that others would find easy. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I was never social as a child; I can’t go up to someone and start a conversation. I had a happy childhood, up to a point. Our home has come under disrepair within the past decade or so. I love my parents, at least I […]
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Insurance
I really don’t know what to do. At least I’ve had my life insurance policy for several years. But, the payout is only $100,000 and the family could use more. Over time, I’ve crawled into a deeper, darker hole. I go through the motions, but even that isn’t what it used to be. I used to be able to fake it all much better. Now, my home life and work life are affected and it’s been in a downward spiral for months that is worse than the years prior. Is it better to have my son grow up with a parent who seems depressed and lost […]
I have been lost for such a long time. I sometimes think it started the day my mother died but that isn’t it.  Or the day I asked for help the first time I tried to kill myself, and the military discharged me instead. I really don’t know where I went wrong. It seems when I ask for help, or try to talk about it, people either don’t want to listen or don’t believe me. I mean really, how can someone my age be going through this. I am the one who has these feelings and I struggle to believe it myself.
I left my life a 5 years […]
My name is John and I and 19. I have no real friends to speak of, I’ve lost interesting in the only thing that has been really keeping me going and I’ve been wishing the past few years for something to happen that would get me killed. I can’t commit suicide because my mind and body physically won’t allow me to do so. I don’t know when exactly I started feeling the way i did, but the feeling has only grown stronger over the years especially in the last few months.
I have no job, no drivers license because i can’t afford the insurance, no friends […]
really angry and irritable for some reason. maybe it’s the heat. i am lonely yet i want to be alone. i am tired of talking. tired of being me. i have little patience for social niceties. i guess you would call that isolating myself. i am pretty good at that. i find myself lost in my head a lot these days. losing time. not paying attention to the here and now. seems like i am fading away. almost have myself convinced that my demise wouldn’t be a big deal. i wouldn’t be missed by too many people. there seems to be more times where i […]
I had never heard of this sight until tonight. I saw a friend post about it on Facebook & instantly thought that it was a sign.
Let me just begin with a little bit about me. I am 18, I live in a town I hate, & I hate most people. I’ve never really blogged, but I’ve always wanted to. It really helps me to write & I need to have a way to calm myself down. I really don’t know how to explain myself because I don’t really know who I am anymore. I don’t want to hear that I’m too young & that I […]
I don’t event know what to say anymore. I can’t post on my Facebook or twitter how I’m feeling and I definitely can’t talk to any of my friends or family members about my brilliant idea to end it all. Ironically, one of my jobs is suicide prevention- and here I am the preventer and I’m so far gone. I fight with myself constantly to STAY alive, because I have children, and I will miss them and I know at least three of the four I have will miss me- but today I just give up. The first thing people ask is do you have […]
I hate careers. I hate dead-end jobs. I hate money. I hate corporations. I hate the government. I hate having to buy things in order to exist. I hate having my time delegated to being productive so that someone else can profit from my labor. I hate paperwork. I hate commercials and advertisements. I hate that creative people get sucked into marketing for corporate interests rather than producing their own art. I hate lobbyists. I hate insurance. I hate predictability (except that I might hate all of the things listed here – that kind of predictability is OK with me). I hate the commodification of […]
So I was at my father house planning on making breakfast when 3 police officers came in and said basically you can either come voluntary or were going to force you. I didn’t run cause I would it would be a criminal charge and I would go to jail and then maybe prison for some bs cause I’m on probation. So I said I’d go voluntarily so here I am I the ER chillin. I’m glad I have insurance cause no doubt they are going to bill me. The psych -some Jewish guy named Ira- came in after a few hours and talked to me. […]
I’m not lost, I’m not in pain, I’m not under that much stress (22/m/In college), I don’t have too bad a life actually. My dad is unemployed so with my part time job I’m helping him stay afloat back home but I don’t mind. He wiped my ass when I shat my diapers as a baby and now I’m repaying him by helping him when he needs it. I’m not religious. I never understood the whole God thing. Not that I didn’t go to church. I really tried to believe, I wanted to believe, I just couldn’t buy into the invisible dude in the sky […]
had a therapy appointment today. as long as i am still going i guess that is a good thing. my therapist mentioned how scared she would be if i was a no show to an appointment. i told her she should be scared. the pro death part of me is rather insistent. i have come to the realization that i probably will kill myself. the question is when. that i do not know. all the suicide sites say that one should be alarmed if said suicidal person suddenly seems calm or even happy. it means that a decision has been made. well that decision has […]
I just need to get it out. I’m 30 in July. I’ve never once had a job. I’m mentally disabled but can’t get on disability. Everyone treats me like I’m trash not worth helping. I’ve been bullied all through school, treated like I’m scum by the government, and my own family looks at me with contempt.
All I do anymore is sit and cry. When I try to talk to anyone it’s always “What do you have to be depressed about.” I can’t afford to get help, the government keeps denying me help because my parents aren’t complete assholes, and every place I apply to looks […]
My family hates me and I hate them.
I have no job.
I have 1 friend, but I am rapidly bringing her down to my level.
My purpose in life just got smashed. I realized it’s a lie and I’ve wasted my entire life on it.
I am not afraid of death. Death is the only thought that comforts me.
If there is a god, I want to meet it so I can kick its ass.
I am in physical pain 24hours/day from an accident.
My insurance runs out soon and I won’t get any more physical therapy or pain meds.
I am getting evicted […]
I came here today to search some posts in hopes of obtaining an easy, painless, peaceful way to leave this life. I read many similar posts and I too can’t seem to keep my depression in check. Sadly it DOES effect every other part of your life. I manage to ruin or push away any good thing in my life. Each time I try harder to gain control of my emotions and depression it only seems to end even worse. I have lost count of the jobs I have walked away from in a huff, friends I have lost due to being overly sensitive and family […]
My over zealous wife signed me up to do a relay marathon tomorrow evening at a zoo. Â She is hoping to break me out of my “funk”. Â Maybe I will jump into the gorilla pen and they can get the life insurance.
Hi all,
I notice that a lot of people posting are in the US, and know that you do not have a national health service. So I’m curious, is there no support at all for people who are having mental health problems unless they have private medical insurance? Are there community services available?
i hope you are up to date with your reading. someone is jerking me around. your office says its the insurance co. the insurance co says its the office. either way for some reason my co-pay to see you has now tripled. been waiting for some edict from on high saying i need to stop seeing you so often. guess now i got it. something to do with specialist services versus therapy services. blah blah blah. i love insurance companies. oh well its only money right? my current financial crisis notwithstanding. i keep saying i am worth more dead than alive. yet another example. someone […]
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray someone in my house will sneak
Up to my bed, pillow over my face
Perhaps with a gun make my room a discrase
My blood on the bed her tears on the floor
While my wife gets away and crys for me no more
Her life would be better with me in the ground
I wish to run away and never be found
My life is so hard, no I’m not the only one
Stupid Canada can’t get a gun
A hose to the window as I take a long nap
The engine runs hot I’m sick of this crap
Why death leavs me to struggle I’ll never […]
i’m 21 with no family, i’m a dropout, no job, no license, no car, warrants, overweight, gynecomastia, ingrown toenail, extreme back pain, no insurance, girlfriend that i fucking hate(we hate each other) we argue every fucking day nonstop, and nowhere else to go. ending it feels like the only option.
I have been off work for two days with a migraine. I work away from home so I can’t even be with “loved ones” when I am like this. I have no one to talk to when I am away and am getting so very tired. Thankfully I work in a job where killing myself is very easy and can be an “accident” so that someone will still get my life insurance. I have thought about killing myself so many times it would be strange to have a day without those thoughts. I don’t know why I feel this way, I have a loving family, […]
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