Tag:

Insurance

Countdown

by No_more_pain 5/15/2012

written by No_more_pain

I set a date for myself last week.Â I’ve been counting it down since then, day-by-day.Â Â Every day that I count down makes me feel almost…hopeful.Â Â What irony, huh?Â Â I don’t know whether I’m going to be able to follow though, when the time comes, but I’m seriously going to try.Â I’ve been making concrete plans and actually doing things to make come about.Â Â I won’t give away the actual method (since we’re not really supposed to do that here), but let’s just say it’s going to be as quick as possible, with little chance for any mistakes.Â

I’m trying not to be selfish about this, […]

5/15/2012 2 comments

Father father tell me where have you been.

by thegirlwhocryedwolf 5/11/2012

written by thegirlwhocryedwolf

Myï»¿ mom and dad split when i was 4 because he was addicted to crack. I didn’t see him again til i was 10. Now he has a wife and step kids.i’m not important to him anymore. He lives in a huge house and he’s a successful psychiatric. But he’s toï»¿ selfish to even pay for my insurance. So i have a disease that went untreated for 2 years. I am now permanently deaf in my right ear. and he doesn’t event know. Because he doesn’t call.
The only thing that’s making me feel any better right now is the song a trophy fathers trophy […]

5/11/2012 3 comments

Thinkin of ending it

by Nash10 4/24/2012

written by Nash10

This is my story, just need to share.

I was raped (sodomized, whatever you want to call it) a few times when I was a kid by my uncle, my grandpa knew but didn’t say anything about it. Grew up with that hanging over my head, told a few friends but all they said was, “man, that sucks.” I didn’t really expect them to say much, but nothing would be better than that. It’s the reason I don’t have a gf, I’m afraid that that abuse will carry over. My parents got divorced when I was 7, dad remarried shortly after that to a […]

4/24/2012 1 comment

Why bother

by frodor 4/16/2012

written by frodor

I was abused pretty early on by my father. Mentally and physically. He tried to kill me with a gun.Â It misfired twice. I used to think I was fortunate that happened, now I wish when heÂ shot, he killed me. I would have saved me a lot of suffering.

Went to school teased there as well. Stood up to them didn’t matter. Beat them up. Didn’t matter. Told school officials didn’t matter.

Then my mother abused me mentally. She checked out on life for a number of years by taking percocet and valium.Â Which left me at 8 to pay the bills. The money was there […]

4/16/2012 2 comments

Let it f*cking end (L.I.F.E.)

by StayStrong 3/31/2012

written by StayStrong

I wish i had the courage to die, i wish i werent such a wimp and would just do the deed.Â I honestly can’t find a reason to live anymore. Any help i get is just a waste, any ‘hope’ story is just depressing. Everything is depressing. I just can’t take it. I can’t be honest with my therapist because she has proven how fast she’ll go and tell my dad. My dad is getting tired of taking me to therapy, i can tell he wants it to end but he doesnt get how bady i still need to go. my friends dont know the […]

3/31/2012 6 comments

An idea…

by countingdown 3/14/2012

written by countingdown

I was talking a few people on here the other night, and it set me thinking that maybe I could make a massive difference when my time is up…

At the moment suicide has a negative stigma attached to it, with the stereotype of the highly emotional, desperate victim making a final call for help. This may also be why it affects so many friends and relatives as they feel guilty they missed this cry for help before it was too late. Lets look at the other other side, the rational unemotional decision that you should be able to control at least one thing in your […]

3/14/2012 21 comments

Kill me

by Zixo17 2/23/2012

written by Zixo17

I am doing this because there is a small part of me that doesn’t want to die. The rest of me is sure that this gun sitting in my lap is the answer for all my problems. Being born from day one with a debilitatingmedical condition is one thing but it time and time again hurting me holding me back, making me lame and weird growing up and a psycho into adult-hood is about all I can take. After finding my insurance canceled me as a client and won’t re-consider the same week I find out I am going to need surgery is the last […]

2/23/2012 3 comments

Alone.

by jimmors34 2/19/2012

written by jimmors34

For too long i have kept up this charade. Pretending to be happy when im not. Im probably like alot of people…for a long time, everything seemed to be going ok, and i had dreams and aspirations and a plan for my life.

But, somewhere along the way, i failed. And i dont have any resentments about it, i know most of the reason as to why i failed rests with me. Im not perfect, im sure if i worked harder, i couldve accomplished more, made something of myself. But, i didnt. I understand that, and thats not what really bothers me anyway.

For too long, my […]

2/19/2012 2 comments

Weird sensations

by porphyrous 1/18/2012

written by porphyrous

Okay, y’all, important safety tip.Â If the psychiatrist gives you a prescription for ant-depressants, you don’t let them write it with ZERO REFILLS.Â And certainly take some care to ensure you don’t run out of a Friday night so you have to wait FOUR DAYS for your pharmacist to get said psychiatrist’s approval.

I’m just sayin’.Â Seriously, I could actually hear my eyeballs moving.Â Do you know just how weird that is?!?

And certainly don’t make me wait two weeks to see my new therapist one-on-one.Â Insurance won’t cover another week of IOP?Â Put it on my tab, that’s what HSA is for.

Yeah.Â Not a good day. […]

1/18/2012 0 comment

My Last Post

by nikster 1/16/2012

written by nikster

It’s been one big shit storm the past few months, with the past few weeks bringing more pain than I could bare. I botched an attempt two weeks ago which landed me in the hospital. As a result I have lost my apartment, my health insurance, my disability and my sanity. At almost 6 months pregnant my only options are to depend on my mentally unstable grandmother for assistance, and a “mother” who has her own life sort out. The pain, and uphill battle are too much to bare at this point, and I have checked into a hotel this evening with my helium materials […]

1/16/2012 11 comments

First time failure.

by sandysuicide 8/20/2009

written by sandysuicide

Ok, so I want to talk about the first (and only) suicide attempt I’ve ever made. It took place about a year ago. It was a pretty fucked up time in my life, as I’d just gotten my 2nd DUI and almost at the same time I was breaking up with my girlfriend. I was so in love with this girl I won’t even bother to elaborate on it, as it would probably make most people sick. That said, I was on my way to work one morning shortly after I’d gotten out of jail, and recieved a call from my ex. As we were […]

8/20/2009 1 comment

suicide as a hopeful thing

by heidi 8/16/2009

written by heidi

Hi all, i’m new. i’m feeling suicidal, having been on and off for some time. But for me it is a source of hope. I feel as if the universe is telling me that my presence is no longer required. I can’t find work, i’m running out of money, i have serious health problems and no insurance and i will probably lose my house. my great fear is that i will be forced to live in my car. i think if i was told today that i had terminal cancer i would kiss the doctor. it would be such a relief.

Planning my death gives focus […]

8/16/2009 4 comments

Ready to die

by fisherminisher 7/21/2009

written by fisherminisher

I’m glad there is a forum like this that I can relate to. I have a wife and 3 kids and I am 30 years old. I’ve been thinking of suicide for years now and over the past few months have gotten past this weird barrier that I had before. I was so cautious and scared to kill myself before and now I feel like nothing is stopping me. Sort of like a green light. Now I don’t obsess about it as I used to and have moved onto phase 2 in finding the right way to do it. One thing I learned is that […]

7/21/2009 5 comments

Seriously considering this

by dyingj 7/6/2009

written by dyingj

When I registerd here I was seriously considering ending my life…I felt that I just could not go on anymore…my heart was broken, as well as my spirit.Â I had just finished crying my eyes out, and cursing God, why when he had the chance did he not take me…I had replayed are the hurtful things my husband has said to me over and over in my head…I also had just watch another amature video of him and his girlfriend post on the net…I watched and listened to all the things he said to her…and thats not the only one of them that he has […]

7/6/2009 2 comments

I’m glad this is here. (The work of Byron Katie)

by Asshole 6/23/2009

written by Asshole

Today, I am full of angry thoughts.Â I just checked the gun.Â How surreal.Â It’s there.Â Several are in this house.Â Now, I need a bullet.Â 32mm.Â I find lots of 22 mm, but don’t think that gun is good enough.Â I’m crazy writing this.Â I know this is my thinking, my old thinking & thoughts that need to die.Â I am a follower of Byron Katie.Â She is a teacher of “loving what is” and this reality raises itself again & again. www.thework.org

I admit, I missed my medication for 2 days.Â I took it today and will probably be feeling normal soon.Â I’m so […]

6/23/2009 3 comments

To: Donna Meta

by jeannie812 6/13/2009

written by jeannie812

So much has happened to you.Â Â How can you explain it all?Â I would be talking gibberish if I went through that.

One thing I have learned from my life is that the more bad stuff we have to explain,Â the less sense we make.Â People tune it out.Â They are looking to “fix”Â our problems and when it gets beyond “fixable”Â Â they tune it out.

Sweetie,Â go to the Mayo’s clinic.

There is one in Rochchester,Â Minnesota,Â Â and one in Rockchester ,Â New York.

The Mayo’s clinic is the best.Â Â They will fix you.Â smile

If your insurance won’t pay,Â well,Â then ask for donations.Â Â Ask and you will […]

6/13/2009 0 comment

When I lost me

by chrissibear 5/28/2009

written by chrissibear

It all started in Jan of 2001 I had a house fire and lost everything, actualy it started way before that with the abuse as a child from my grandfather, then later with my 2 ex husbands. But in Jan 2001 was the start of me lossing myself. It was a usual day I had got the kids ready for school, the night before I had a arguement with my husband about his drinking and his stealing my sons ridalin. So it wasn’t a good start to my day to begin with. I went to work ended up a hour later getting a call from […]

5/28/2009 1 comment

chronic case

by dreamachine 4/3/2009

written by dreamachine

i’m suicidal all the time. it’s always on my mind. i’ve only made one “serious” attempt that got me in the hospital, but i’m scared of asking people for help and i’ve made dozens of mini-attempts (that no one knows about) or put myself in risky situations countless times. i just wish i could die already. i’m scared of what comes after death (i’m agnostic, i don’t have a particular belief because i don’t know.) but i’m scared of what living will bring me as well..

my story is not particularly abnormal or interesting. rejected by a drug abusing father, raped at 18, kicked out of […]

4/3/2009 5 comments

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