So my baby is gone I and so upset and I want to slit my throat every moment I think about changing things and I think about my baby. My boyfriend doesn’t even act like he cares. His mom told him before it all happened that we should get this over with so he could gwt away from me. And he wont even help me with this. His mom doesn’t care. I want to just be gone. I want him to know that I want him to help me tgrough this cause I fell stupid. He wont understand I hurt. His mom is like well […]
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it all
My mistakes consume me.
When ever one crosses my mind,
It crushes my lungs till I can’t breathe.
It replays in my head till I go insane.
It makes my stomach lurch, till I loose everything I ate.
The pain on other peoples faces spin around me till I hurt myself just as much as I hurt them.
Then when it all finnally fades away, I get reminded again.
And the cycle repeats.
This shell I have is tough to crack, no one sees the pain just the smile. I cannot get the attention from anyone and I’m fine with that. But lately I’ve been getting withdrawn from people. Family, friends, work and I can feel what’s around the corner. The suicidal thoughts are ringing heavy and I have to play music louder to get rid of them. Surprisingly no one sees that I am changing and probably heading for the worst what holds me together is my immediate family. The only reason to live has been not to disappoint her. But I am losing touch with relationships, […]
So I’ve had these thoughts before that I just want to go but this was years ago I mean like ova 5/6 years ago. These were always easy to understand that in a bad place bad times not happy etc.
Now all has changed, I have no issues in life or with people all is good, but now I feel at ease with it all.
Recently thoughts returned and I’m quite happy about it how at peace I am with the idea, the thought of going mostly puts me in a really good mood and crack on with the days work looking forward to later […]
I can’t begin to describe the hell that I’ve been put through for the last 8 months. I won’t even try. All I can say is that I have been scammed, robbed, taken for all I have/had and left to suffer the financial consequences, the shame and the betrayal. I can’t believe that someone that I helped through the worst times of their life could do this to me. Bottom line, they robbed me for close to 30k.
All I can think about is that if there was ever a time to end my life, now is it. This is rock bottom. This person has made […]
How can I feel so numb from everything an everyone yet still be in so much pain. So much. I just want out, I’m honestly tryna make it work but then I wake up in the morning and it all repeats. At least I’ve still got my plan, I hope I wont need it but I know I will.
Can the pain just stop, can it just FUCKEN stop for fucks sake. Can I get a chance to breathe can I catch a FUCKEN break?!!! Why, why the fuck do all these issues have to pile up why does life have to be so FUCKEN hard???! I swear times like this death seems like the right way to go. I genuinely try, I try so FUCKEN hard but life doesn’t get any easier. I carry around this FUCKEN pain and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of it!!! Because this pain is from the relazation of how fucked up life is!!! How […]
The truth is she’s a mess. Once so well put together. Once was that happy girl that smiled twenty four- seven. The girl that had great friends and was nice to everyone. She was complete with joy. That girl faded. That girl doesn’t exist anymore. A gloomy depressed girl now exists. Battling for her life every day. Battling with life. She went from going out with friends to staying up all night crying. She shut down. No words spoken. But she woke up the next day and painted that smile on her face. Look in her eyes and you will see a world filled with […]
Life’s just one great big illusion.
People telling you how to live your life, how to look, how to act, how to feel.
But screw all that.
We’re all the same.
Even if you’re always getting the short end of the stick and the asshole next to you’s rich.
Just remember that it’s all some big illusion, you’re the one who’s the better person.
Music qoute of the day: “America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition, get yourself a brand new motor car. Someday soon we’ll stop to ponder what on earth’s this spell were under, we made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.” – […]
i havent been on here for a long time iv seen some shit im my time (god i sound like a vam vet !) but you know that dont meen shit people stoped calling me emo now im the hippie guy who smile all the time no one can seem to get to him some one said theres something abotu my eyes something dark if only she knew but ill tell you what ever sins i droped acid once no more no less its opened my mind just enough to let the light and truth in the people are lieing to you the world loves you and its beautiful you […]
i may spell your name wrong and other words… i may lose fath think you will never come back i may some times think wtf am i doing but you know what fuck it all when i get that emaile my belly flips and we met on this sight just over a year ago now and i love you more than evre are frends who we knew here are probaly dead or thay got better (better what is better) were still roleing on well not realy roleing iv tryed to kill my self agine twice now… iv had the thoughts even when im dancing with […]
I can’t stop thinking about it. For hours now… It’s on my mind. I just want to be away from it all. I feel like I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do any more. I’m trying to make it through one day at a time. I can’t shake this thought. I’ve thought it all the way through. I am debating almost every day now. I know better, but I am so close. I have reached out for help and tried to help myself in every way that I can. Nothing is working. I really fell worse. Like I’m digging myself a hole.
I can only tell you what is working for me at this moment in time. I am taking a multitude of meds at the max doses and my mind is clear. I still have suicidal ideations and nightmares but I’m a single mom and have chosen for today at least to write this post and give another option. I believe in mood stabilizers and other meds when combined with counseling. You have to put in the effort and tell your drs what is and isn’t working. I know my meds and have tried every combination and strength. Some didn’t work at all. Some made me […]
I would like to inform every lost soul on this website that there is hope. I haven’t concord my depression or anything, I know it’ll be back sooner or later but right now in this very moment I can say I’m glad I didn’t kill myself. The scars are there but you know what? I like my scars , they show me that in a point and time of my existence I didn’t want to live and it makes me feel a hell of a lot better that I could figure that out. I am aware that I’ll be on here in like a month […]
I just want to die.
I hate my life.
Try to live my life.
Live with my ADD.
Live with my social awkwardness.
Live with my slight autism.
Live with it all.
It’s a fucking nightmare.
I’ve tried getting help but it never works.
It never will.
I’m done.
It’s over.
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
I have an amazing beautifal sweet caring loving girl. She’s psychologically sound and cant understand my plight. As i was doing so good for a while. I had a job making 32 bucks an hour 64 on weekends and i threw it all away for no other reason then i didnt like it and hated the boss. I sometimes wonder if having a girl who’s been where im at would be any different? One who understands me. From experiance. Like we could help each other . My girl is too normal as wierd as that sounds and i feel like shit sayin it
I am tired of being an incest survivor with no family or partner
Watching myself age alone
Feeling helpless and trapped
So much pain, no God to care, no man to care,
Nothing but SHIT
Worst of the worst
Never did drugs either or drank to excess
The world is nothing but PAIN
My heart feels like it is bleeding inside and out
Yes, I want to die, all the time
I am just tired of it all now
Life is hell with ptsd
HELL
Forgive me Lord
Oh yes, religion if hell too and the guilt
All
Hello whoever wants to read and share some insight feel more then welcome. I’m gonna share a condensed version of my life story I think it will be good for me dunno but it cant hurt. here goes.
well I was born in 85 im an only child and I have two loving hard working parents always were always will be. I had a great first 5 years according to pictures and stories from family. the family next door and my family were close friends. well as close as neighbors can be I suppose. always cheerful and doin things for each other. always welcome in each […]
I never realized how exhausting it is to research ways to die, along with writing a note that explains it all. I’m so exhausted I’ve taken 3 showers today just trying to get it all done. By the end of Friday I don’t intend to be here anymore. When my boyfriend at the time talked me into an abortion I didn’t want he promised he would be around afterwords, I made sure he said he would because I knew I couldn’t handle all of this alone. He left regardless and I told my family about everything because I was afraid of what I would do and […]