I never wear regular or low rise jeans. Not because I’m insecure about my body. Not because I’m “in love” with the high-waisted jeans. It’s because I cut myself on my hip. Lines and lines of tiny cut marks all over. I cut my hip and watch the blood flow and relish the pain. It’s the only thing that stops the pain inside my head.
Tag:
Jeans
so here is a piece of my story that I’ve only told 2 people about….
As you can imagine I’m terribly nervous about doing this.
When I was 5 years old, my Great Uncle and Great Aunt came down to visit..
I never really liked my Uncle Jerry but this just gave me more of a reason to not like him. I remember that day like it was yesterday (when it happened 12 years ago) I was watching 101 Dalmatians the cartoon with him. We were sitting on the bed and I was wearing sweatpants and a green turtleneck. It was right around Christmas that year. I went […]
I guess i am not the ordinary 17 year old kid, I walk around with a tophat with goggles, long leather coats with spikes on them and jeans with chains. But this not even why people threaten me everyday, or throw rocks at me because they did that before I started looking weird. I guess it’s just me, for some reason I probably deserve it, because no matter what i do, no matter where i go i always get punished. When it’s not people punishing me it is faith, broken bikes with 15km to  go and no one to reach, trains suddenly all stop, beehives […]
im a sophmore in highschool, and i have gone through a lot with my mom. My background story is fine nothing wrong as a kid my parents are still together blah blah. But it started in 7th grade. My mom started making me more and more angry as the days went on.. It didnt get real bad until 8th grade though. My mom was driving me to the point where i was suicidal. I didnt want to live here any longer. I attempted, was too scared and gave that attempt up, then about a week later, one of my former good friends decided to take […]
I went to my old high school today. It was awful. I arrived and I couldn’t find anyone for a while so I just decided to randomly walk around the building for a while. I got made fun of for wearing my sunglasses indoors by some random dude (really? REALLY???) who apparently thought I was ‘trying to be cool’ (in reality I was just really fucking stoned… how sheltered are these people?)… I eventually ran into an old teacher of mine who found one of my old friends and I went to sit with her and two other visitors (apparently, she’s really popular??). I was […]
So how many of you have gotten hate mail before? I bet a lot of you have and, let me tell you now, it isn’t fun right?
Honestly, I like getting hate mail because it shows how many judgmental sons of bitches are in this goddamn world. I’ve been told that my scars from self-harm/cutting were FAKE.
Seriously?! Do my fucking scars really look fake? What do I do, spend hours in front of the mirror drawing every single scar on my wrist, stomach, chest, shoulders, arms, thighs, legs, and ankles? I spend ten hours making sure each scar is there and then I cover it up […]
I do. It seriously feels like a disability often. You have so much that you have to worry about like making sure you don’t get raped. Every time I go out somewhere, I’m always told not to be out too late since it’s “especially dangerous for girls.” I hate that. That makes me try to dress as much like a boy as I can, so maybe I’ll be mistaken for one. I think about cutting my hair short and not shaving, but then I’ll be labeled as a “butch lesbian” since I am gay. It’s not fair. Aside from the obvious things like getting your […]
I have a friend, my best friend.. Â we have been friends since kinder garden, we were always there for each other.. no matter what.. and that is great and all, but i feel like i don’t deserve that friend. Because a couple og months ago i was at a party having a good time and all, then this really hot girl walks up to me and we start talking, everything is fine we start making out we walk to a bed room start undressing, and right before we are gonna do it my fried enters the room.. and he sees me with the girl and […]
I’ve decided to bore you all with a day of my life to see if anyone can relate to having “a good life” and thus having no reason to feel so bad all the time. Let me save you some time and summarize: whine, whine, whine, *****, complain, I hate everything, my friend tried to kill herself.
BAM. just saved you oodles of time.
It’s 6am. I’m tired, already tired and the day hasn’t even started for me yet. I couldn’t sleep last night, just like most nights, and stayed up until 1. I put on clothes, they could be any clothes really, they could be […]
I Have Depression .. Really Bad. I Get Blamed For Everything, I Find My Self Ugly , Fat Or Even No Good! When People Tell Me Im Pretty I Think There Lying. When Im Upset And Somebody Askes Me “Whats Wrong” I Usually End Up Crying Right At That Moment. I Been To A Clinic To Get Help. Im Now On Depression Meds Now! When Im Upsett Or Real Low The First Thing That Comes To My Mind Is Suicide. It Feels Like I Have No One To Talk To. To Trust. I Feel As Though Im A Loser 🙁 I Get Picked On At […]
Today was actually ok, my dad didnt yell that much my mom was nice and everything went pretty smoothly…only probelm is tommorows monday amd get to see all the bitchy cheerlearders and other annoying assholes…i wish my friends understood, whemever i start to tell them they get this wierd arkward lookso i always end up making it into a joke and pretend it was nothing. Im tired if trying to conform into to someome im not..i dont even know who i anymore. From basicaly kindergarden i was the “wierd kid” the one who was always too mature, my mom used to call me an […]