Well I’m pretty much ready to go. I made my noose today and it looks great should do the job nicely. Peace out !
Right now, I am contemplating life. What’s the point? Purpose eludes me. At this moment, I don’t see much point in going forward. My life is mediocre at best. And even if it gets better.. what is “better,” and what is it really worth? Does better mean more money? At this moment, I couldn’t care less about money. Money can’t buy happiness or love. It could buy me a house, but what would I do in it that I don’t already do (eat, sleep, bathe, find ways to entertain myself..). I could go back to school.. to do what? Get a better job to make […]
Five years ago I lost the best job I ever had.  I worked there for 18 years and just like that I was out. I can’t let go of the past. I think about that job everyday. Random events remind me of that job and it makes me cry. I don’t know what to do with myself. I really need help but I don’t know how to get it. I see a psychiatrist once a week but he’s nothing more than a pill pusher. What I need is someone to talk to – really talk to. Someone who can help me put my life in […]
I can’t do it anymore. Or can I? Even my own brain can’t decide what it wants  anymore. I use to be happy, I used to enjoy life but not it seems that that enjoyment is more and more fleeting. I seem to have about 1 good day in life every month, but even that seems to be becoming a struggle. Everything I had in life I lost, everything that was good and worth living for was lost. The only man who I have ever loved broke up with me for someone else, I lost my job due to a serious knee injury whilst playing […]
So im new to this site, but i need somewhere to vent some thoughts and feelings ive had for years. First I guess ill intriduce myself. Im a rock/metal guitar player. I feel this title best illustrates who I am. Guitar and rock/metal music are my only passion in life, it is what drives me forward and has kept me going so far. I love it. Anyway, playing guitar in a band is all I want to do with my life. However, I feel like that dream is moving out of reach more and more as time passes by. Its my parents. They are supportive […]
Alright im 19 years old. You guys on here think you’ve been threw stuff? My Bio dad abannded me when i was born. Another man Adopted me and called me his. Only for me to find out it really wasnt him who was my dad. Brother died of cancer. I pretty much raised him. I have attempted suicide many times and i believe that it has put me in an inbetween of this and the next life. I look around and everything seems darker. The whole world just angier.
When i began expiermenting with drugs i did many things. Ive done anywhere from pot/DMT/Spice/Coke and about […]
hi everyone.. im michael and i sometimes think about ending it.. alot.. i feel alone in this country.. and im scared to be myself.. i dont have any motivation to live for.. and i dont have a gf.. and im scared of girls and everyone.. and everyone looks at me funny and i worry what others think.. i overthink things and get depressed.. so i want to end it.. but im scared to do that i want to get away from my mom and i have no goals in life.. i cant post stuff on facebook. because they banned me.. so i want to end […]
she is mad because she can’t control me, she gets with guys to control them and when they break up with her she tries to go to Church to control that!
If you’ve followed my posts you would know exactly the type of person she is.
She lies about everythin . She brainwashed me into running away from my grandma and running away from CPS only to call on me to get me intoruble. But I kept coming back thinking what she said was the truth , that she wanted to be a mother for once. Ever since I ran away to be with my mom, she […]
I’ve been moving on lately. Not in the way one would imagine. I’ve become raw and uncut in my creativity. I’m exposing myself to the world with photos of what i see, thing I model in a virtual space, things i may draw by hand and music. Oh no I’m still not happy. But I’ve decided to keep pretending.
I”m doing light work. Work as in making amends to old flames if I possibly can. Maybe an offer of friendship or two. I’m learning to forgive my parents even though they still bait trap and subtly belittle for effect, and myself because I keep making mistakes. […]
Feel horrible today. I walked out on my job, because I couldn’t stand the bullying anymore, and I know I shouldn’t have to. Doesn’t change the fact that my friend had to pay my rent this month, and I need a job to pay bills. Makes me feel guilty as hell… I’ve never taken money from anyone. Now I’m just sick. I have no idea how I will face my boss, or how I will get the motivation and the courage to go out and look for another job.. this one was bad enough. Can’t even keep a shit job. What’s the point, I think… […]
I hate to say it but I’ve heard it from so many sources. Just be happy! Maybe there’s something horribly wrong with me but I can’t push myself to be happy. I should be though-from the outside my life kind of seems pretty fucking OK. Nowadays I feel guilty and anxious because I can’t bring myself to enjoy it. It’s there, right in front of me but forcing myself to be happy?
That only deepens my anxiety making it so much worse. I tried to ask for help, to make people understand me but they can’t. Now the plan switched to: I’ll off myself if I […]
I’m 36 years old, a bad mother, a worse wife. no job, no life, I finally got the storybook family and life I always wanted, but now I have to sit by the sidelines and watch it go by. I’ve tried a total of four or five times now to get rid of myself over my lifetime, and I can’t even get that right. I am a useless, burden to my family. They would be better off without me and won’t even know I’m gone. I use to believe that I was here for a reason and that everything that I have gone through would mean […]
Well I’ve become friends again with a girl i went to high school with, not sure if I’ve mentioned it before… But anyway every weekend for the past 2 months we go out clubbing and everything but she doesn’t invite me out on Wednesdays or Thursdays which are the most social days of the week here… I don’t want to ask to go because like that’s just asking to be around people who don’t or might not want you around you know?
Uhhh I don’t know what to do at all, I over think things to much and create problems that don’t need to be […]
Over the last 3 or 4 years, I have been sinking further into despair. I am now at a point where I am ready to exit. The times I have been most at peace over the last few years have generally been when I have been sleeping; I figure that a sleep where I never wake up would be a good thing. I know this might sound like a First World Problem, but my descent began when I got made redundant during the GFC. Since then, I have had to take jobs that have paid less, and also had to use up all of my savings during […]
Wow, you know I never thought I’d say this, but I’m enjoying life. Ive got a boyfriend, but its long distance.. Still though hes wonderful.. Calls me beautiful and always full of compliments.. I got a job, im just.. Relieved things are going so good. Im sort of surprised but its nice. I hope your all doing okay. Please, dOnt give up, find something to occupy yourself with.. Distract yourself, take your meds,eat healthy, excersize. Your all wonderful here.. And I love you all. Thank uou do much for helping me, im glad I didnt take my life like I was going to. […]
I am the third and youngest child in my family. My eldest brother David has never been nice to me no matter how hard I have tried, and recently he told me I am no longer his sister. My other brother Timothy was born with brain damage and got all of the attention from my parents. I was always ignored and my parents never realised I have had depression for a very long time. Even now that I have been diagnosed, they still don’t believe me. Of course it’s okay for my brother David to be depressed but not me.
My so called friends were never […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
underage high schooler living with  a clinically depress/paranoid mom.
everynight around 11pm-8am my mom would have these urges to freak out/cry/yell. the things I hear is that everyone treated her like crap. she would look in the mirror and yell at herself how she gotten so ugly as a person. the “freak outs” have been going on for a year. it’s getting financially and emotionalbad worst. let’s say, if tmrw I loose everything I own I won’t be surprise. I’ve been clinically depress since the 7th/8th grade. so far I’ve attempted suicide twice. ended up in the hospital and depression center both times. seriously I think […]
On the plus side, I did finally purchase the second shotgun needed for the exit. On the bad side, I seem to have talked myself into going back and “trying one more time.”
It is incredibly stressful to wake up and realize that today’s the day you promised yourself you would kill yourself. By the middle of the day, you’ve talked yourself out of it…again…and convinced yourself that there’s too many people who love you to go out now without trying one more time.
I’d like to think that knowing that there are two loaded shotguns waiting at home with its name on them would convince my […]