Bieng someone who has struggled with suicidal tendencies up until about 3 years ago, i have attempted suicide at least a dozen times and numerous other careless acts against my body i know the struggles and know that it can get better. I am 21 years old have been severely physically and mentally abused by my father my entire childhood from being and infant till i moved out when i was 18. He has come at me with an axe on several occasions, beaten me with peices of wood numerous times, ( like a 2 by 4) broken my guitar on me,kicked me(normally with his […]
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kill
I spend more and more time thinking how to kill myself.
It’s funny how the people that were so called their for u but at the end your by your self ur probably so hurt that u don’t even know wat to do either to kill yourself or overcome your self and I find it really hurtful wen u know u been thur so much yet no body could see that they just think u thank happy girl or boy but once u let one person in and u tell them ur reall life and they go n tell people ur stuff and then seconds ur called a slut or fag or nothing but no body […]
Last year I was hospitalized (self-admitted) because of severe suicidal ideation. Â I spent a week in an emergency mental health ward and then was released and stayed in a recovery facility.
I’ve been to therapy and still see my therapist. Â I have a psychiatrist and still take my Wellbutrin. Â I’ve had ups and downs, but since I was discharged I haven’t had any more suicidal thoughts…until now.
I’ve worked at CBT, I journal regularly, I don’t isolate, I have a support system. Â My wife is wonderful, and we have a strong relationship. Â I’m close to my two college age daughters. Â I remember how much pain I caused […]
How do you actually know if you’re a living with depression or not?? Yeah you read up on it but how do you actually know. Only recently I’ve had thoughts about killing myself again. Had these thoughts in the past but never gone through with it. Like HOLY FK could my life get any worse now? no money, no savings, filed bankruptcy, a car that needs fixing and now it’s being reprocessed, a gf who wants to leave overseas (but really who would blame her for leaving) it’s in her best interest she leaves me cause I’m just nothing wasted space.. Can’t make the right […]
Hi Guys,
How are you? How’s your life? How is your day? Don’t forget to comment down below how you are! I do want to know!
NOTE: Really sorry for this being a long post… I didn’t really try to… Writing is the only way I can get my feelings out.
How am I? Does it even matter how I am? Does it matter? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. How am I? Physically? Sore. Bruised. Hurt. Scarred. Mentally? Broken. In Pain. Hurt. Scared.
My physical state… I keep getting headaches… Waking up this morning I hit my head on my wall and it hurt like crazy, but […]
Sometime I just wanna kill myself but people are in my way and I cant do anything but I really don’t want to live anymore here,i hate the fact that everyone talks behind my back and they were the ones I thought are always their for me.And it hurts a lot like I really don’t wanna be here .
Sometimes I hear or see something I don’t want to when i’m with a group of people , and I see things that just hurt me and I want to burst into tears but I don’t want people to see the true me. It hurts being one of the only people from you’re group wanting to kill yourself every minute of day.
(Long post. Sorry.)
Only in the last few months have I felt this way, and it seems to be getting more intense (although manageable). I’m in my second marriage to someone that I love, respect and adore, but that is quickly falling apart. She can’t stand me. This morning she told me that she wants a divorce, and she’s serious. I will give it to her for her sake. Left up to me I’d fight her on it, but she really, really just wants out, and I’m 100% the reason why (her words).
My ex wife always said I was controlling and abusive, and I initially thought […]
The only thing that keeps me living is knowing that at any moment I can choose plan B. I would go  crazy otherwise. I’ll eventually do it anyway. You can’t fire me. I can quit. Why stay at a job you hate. I think its funny when people say don’t kill yourself. You will go to hell. Don’t you want to go to heaven? Lmfao. I know there is a hell and you don’t have to die to visit it either. It’s not that I want to die. Just wish I didnt have to be around another minute to suffer through it more. I don’t […]
At 12 when I did my first depression, I really wanted to die so badly. Then I found that what I really wanted in life was love. Everything I ever did what for that goal and it’s the only thing that makes me happy. The only thing that could keep me alive, the only thing that would make my life worth living. So yea, I needed to be loved and didn’t try to kill myself, it was some kind of a second chance I thought. Second chance… for what? to feel even more miserable, hurt and dead inside? The only thing that keeps me alive […]
We fuck up what can’t be fucked
Master may I rip out your virgin heart
Spit claw eating out danger
I’d kill a thousand men and it wouldn’t be for you
I’ll kill a thousand more before I’d kill beside you
But I couldn’t kill one if he looked at me like you
Does it hurt me to love you
It hurts me to hate you
Break up me up when the blood rises
We look at each other when it suits us to die
Your master possesses when you want to tell lies
Cry touch playing a victim
I’d fuck a thousand men before I’d ever want to touch […]
I hate the fact how i can do good not being sucidal and staying out of hospitals.Then you make one stupid mistake and it ruins everything.My mistake was being curious and that curiousity led me to find the pills my mom hid away..I now have a bunch of those pills and dont know when i will snap and try to kill myself.I just know i cant help it and it willl happen.I will try to kill myself at some point.Ive only told my best friend she asked if she could tell my parents i threatened to do it sooner if she did.I felt bad about […]
When I was 11, I tried to kill myself.
When I was 13, I tried to kill myself. Four times.
Then when I was 15 my boyfriend told me I’d be better off dead. Of course, guess what I did? I tried to kill myself.
I wrote poetry depicting my mind’s perpetual spiral down into hell. I blamed myself. I said things like Well if you weren’t so darned stupid maybe you’d deserve to live.
But why would I say that? Who am I to judge?
Really that makes me selfish to think that. Everyone on this damned planet suffers every day. Every. Fucking. Day. Why should I get the cheap […]
So im 33 and have hoped my life would get better…the past week or so has proved me wrong and there is nothing left to be hopeful about.I have several health problems any of which could kill me at anytime.I have 3 girlswhoi lovemore than anything even tho only one talks to me anymore.Within a week or so after i postthis i plan on taking my life,i know its a selfish act but there really is no other choice.It feels good just to write this down thanks to anyone who reads.
It is not okay to kill yourself. It is mean, it is selfish, it is disgusting. My bother was my best friend in the whole world. He was my go to guy for everything. He was strong, he was beautiful, and he was horribly selfish. He took his own life and left me here to try to live without him. It was too mean, too horrible, too awful for me to wrap my head around it. My mother can not stand to get out of bed, my dad had to cut his baby down when he found him hanging in the basement. My brother is […]
first sorry for bad english
This is the last year of my life if i dont change my life in the next 11 months i gonna kill myself so this is my story i am 25 year old and weight 45 kg(i am male) i eat 4-5 meals a day but i dont get weight, most of the time i am mistaken for a 15 year boy and its driving me nuts nobody takes me serios or always makes fun of me i dont mind about when somebody make fun of me because living in this skinny weakling body made me funny(o i just tink […]
tbh i wish i had something to kill myself with in this house and theres NOThING Here it makes me hate this place 10 times more…….i need to die soon
Ok so ik when i say i wanna kill myself.. nobodies gonna say shit because im not important anymore. Nobody fucking cares about me except maybe one person and im loosing her to her boyfriend. She says i have a perfect life and nothing is wrong with it, thats because i dont tell her everything.
I cut myself, so deep i couldnt pay attention to anything but that during school, i cry myself to sleep.. Every night, i never knew my real dad and i got my two foster Brothers taken away from me, my step dad ruins my life, so i was thinking, if […]
Feeling so guilty over the fact that I’m going to disappoint my parents(have to break some bad news) yet again! it’s killing me inside and now is making me think to kill myself physically too! I was doing about okay when this piece of news dropped on me.. its my life story..when things are about to go okay there will be something to kill off any progress..
hate my life and truly want to see the end.. life is not worth living