Love is after us 24/7 . But in the end ,you ended up in Hell…if
you make that fault mistake ………………… but mine you ,you’ll
 still be in Love. I am Human but I bleed just like everyone
else. When she has her trying days, I listened to the rocks and
stones that come my way. Â Is this Love? Love is who you,
Surrender too. Whoever ,you think you where. That’s when
ever thing changes, when Love, comes knocking on your
door. Love blinded you to a Fault, it Trust everything. It has
Faith in honor, without question. Believing is to convince
your mind, that the heart in your soul is safe  ,and that […]
When I woke up this morning the trees didn’t work
Birdsong had turned to gunfire,
and the stars were in the dirt
Snow feels like a heatwave,
sunshine feels like rain
If a feather touches my skin it causes me pain
Come back!
Come back, and make the world work again
Come back, and put an end to all this mess
Come back, and prove the world’s not heartless
Come back, and prove the world’s not … heartless
The air is thick as tar,
and my skin is bruised and stung
I try to talk but no one understands my tongue
With every passing second I age […]
Lyrics to a song have always been a huge deal for me, I like to always decipher them and hear the inner story… I came across a song I hadn’t heard in years. Hearing the familiar song made me cry, not the silent kind of tears, but the body shaking sobs that take you over for hours at a time… The kind of cry session that makes you think of every single event in your screwed up twisted life. The words to the song spinning in your head over and over again…
It was probably the most amazing thing I have ever felt… Finally […]
Just actually sit down to think about it
Love is a myth and you can live with out it
Love and pain go hand and hand
If you cant see it why believe you can
You want to see you want to believe
In your heart its not make believe
Use your mind your heart’s deceived
By the one called your hearts thieve
In the end why feel the pain
From the myth love let your mind restrain
To let your heart be broken and stained
Is a huge risk and in the end what do you gain
When you think your in love
Fall […]
Im on this roller coaster and I don’t remember buying a ticket. The last 2 days have been exhausting. Â I’ve been getting very low then thinking wait it’s okay maybe, then down again. I literally just ended up sitting on the floor hugging my knees and crying..
ps, i DO try, because I think I read on here yesterday about people not trying and it really pissed me off because what one person sees as someone not trying might be that person trying very hard. well, that is a very confusing sentence but you know what I mean. Â But I better just calm down or I’ll […]
I’ve not always concealed my emotions. But ‘Never ever would I be caught in a vulnerable state again’, that was my promise to myself, that is my promise to myself. But I find that my promise is causing an unhealthy balance of sadness and the want and need of escape.  Holding everything inside is causing random explosions of emotion and confusion as to which causes me to question everything. Even the stable facts that I already know the truth about. The world in my eyes quaking and the  voice in my head screaming/ yelling.  I distance myself. Pull my heart out from within and lose […]
Dear Reader,
My Grandpa committed suicide when he was 75 years old. He took his life in 2005, and my Dad found him. My Father. found. him! I, a 15 year old, watched as my Dad crumbled into a million pieces, literally broke down. A 6’3″ italian goomba fell to his knees in pain over the loss of his own father. My grandma was frozen in shock, numb to the fact her husband (going on 50 years) was no longer coming home after work, or bringing her white daisy’s on Sundays, or laughing to get her to smile. He was gone. Forever.
My grandpa had three beautiful […]
Hearts beats together as one
Brown eyes stare
Hand shivers at your embrane
Knees weaken
What, Why is this happen
Tears falls
A silent mumble
Falls slowly to the ground
Will you be there to lift me back up
No no you wont
These emotions, these feelings
Of solitude , of loneliness has overcome me
No clue nor understanding
What do you want of me
I am dead , cold ice cold
These emotions have caused murder
I died in solitude and alone
Hand-written 🙂
I was about 11 when I realized nobody cared I mean family is suppose to care. I never had a stable family drugs or liquor ruined my family yet there sober now and they are so caught up in the mess they made that I’m invisible to them. I am no longer sober from liquor today just was so bad I had to drink my psychiatrist  thinks I’m crazy because of the scars on my arm I had to show him.. I broke down and cried in front of people I never cry in front of people. It’s just it’s hopeless. I don’t feel like trying anymore. The whole world can […]
I could fight, but then I might
All too knowingly invite
Useless hope into this life
A life that isn’t right
Made of dark, afraid of light
Called to empty, endless night
A life that isn’t even life
I could plead, get on my knees
And beg my God to fill my need
But where is He now when I bleed?
And then I sit alone and read
Of those who in their pain secede
To death’s thirsty, luring greed
Let me follow where they lead
I could fake and lie and break
In secret, cuts and bruises make
To cope with a life I long to take
Hating every day I wake
Living only for your sake
Drowning in this burning lake
Sinking down […]
I recently read a post from a person feeling deep depression for a major part of his or her life and feeling that God is removed from involvement in her life. Â I have done a great amount of soul searching in understanding this as well. Â I have discovered through the death of my brother from his suicide a firmer understanding of God and his complete involvement into our lives. Â I recently discovered in my need to understand that I was not listening. Â I have been reading the bible where Jesus is witnessing to his followers disciples that they need not fear the ruler of this […]
I am something broken. I was beautiful once, but I lost pieces of myself. I’m trying to find them but they don’t fit right. Do you know what it feels like to look down at yourself and cry because you hate what you see? To feel such loathing towards your own body that you have tried to rip it apart bit by bit? Forgive me if I’m quiet, reserved. I’ve got so much going on in my head that I can’t see straight. I should stop trying to fit in because really, who would ever love a girl with as many problems as me? Oh my God. […]
User muspelhem posted this in a comment earlier today – it’s a good read and worth the few minutes it takes to read and ponder objectively –
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
For the record – I’m an atheist – but that doesn’t change the relevance of the following parable:
Crosses To Bear
A young man was at the end of his rope, seeing no way out, dropped his knees in prayer. “Lord, I can’t go on,” he said. “I have too heavy of a cross to bear.”
The Lord replied, “My […]
So, I went for a hike today after work and found this spot, its so beautiful. I think that had I had the freedom I would have jumped. But there is still some busness for me to finsih before I am able. There is some family debt I want to clear, some things I need to make sure are to the proper owners and I need to file my tax’s so that my family can have the funds. 🙂 But all in all my plan is going great so much.
One month
Two days
Then the pain is over.
How could it be
This land of make believe
What’s a life when you stand for nothing? Nothing. You have to stand for something. If you stand for nothing, then anything will send you over the edge. You’re already on the ground, all that happens is everything washes over you, and you begin to sink in the dark swirling mess. But if you stand for something, you have to get brought to your knees before you fall. It doesn’t sound like fun, and it isn’t, because each time you fall to your knees, hope seems to be lost. Many times people will stand up for their dreams, but dreams are shot down, and then […]
The tears they fall unfiltered and pure
Pouring out pain that nothing can cure
Tumbling, cascading like the waterfall
The vivid mark of agony’s call
Those salty drops of feminine curse
Trapped under weight, day by day growing worse
no one to catch them, no one to see
No one else lost in this hell-hole but me
Screaming in terror at the walls closing in
Dropping to my knees, my head starts to spin
Feeling the rage within growing stronger
What in the hell have I done that’s so wrong?
The quickness of breath and tightness of chest
I have endured through it all, gave […]
Its another morning.
I awake. I sob. I’m awake. I’m still alive. I wish I wasn’t.
I suffer from dysthymia, a form of mild depression that is persistent. All I know is down, all I have ever known is down. I also suffer from Major Depression, episodes of extremely severe depression that last 1-12 months at a time. Yes, they put depression in my depression so I can be depressed while I’m depressed. This is called double depression. One of its features is being more hopeless than someone with one form or the other, another is that it is hard to treat.
I also have generalized anxiety. Tons of anxiety all […]
Don’t ask why I’m posting this, I’m bot persuading you not to do it. I’m showing you the only reason I’m alive.
Ok…here we go…:
You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready To give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and re-written over ad over again…you take out those razor blades,and cut for the last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
[…]
I’m so sick of the lies
Sick of the trials
Numb to the pain
And cold to the fires
That burn
Whens it my turn
to feel okay…
I’m so broke
I’m so beat
I have scars on my knees
from falling to keep
everyone on their feet
and it burns so
whens it my turn to feel okay?
(I’ve been working on this for quite some time)
There’s nothing quite like that feeling of rolling up one of your dreams like an old news paper, and placing it in that ubiquitous furnace in your mind. The place you send thoughts to get rid of them. Like an unpleasant situation, or a traumatic experience, what was once your dream is now your nightmare, and you suppress your thought, realizing it’s beyond you, accepting that your dream…will remain just that. A pigment of the picture of the figment of the imagination. As thin and immaterial as ether. Putting to rest your airy desire for love […]
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