Tonight, I am planning to kill myself. I have planned many times to but I have held back because of what seemed like people who cared or the sacredness of what people would think if I failed. Tonight, however, ends all of this. To if you were my friend or you call yourself a friend of mine, I am sorry, but you should have known this was coming. To my family aside from my adoptive mom, I am sorry. To my teachers and other adults, why could not have done something. I know you guys have seen my cuts and scars. Some of you have […]
Tag:
Knowledge
I have great ideas that would benefit everyone in my workplace and make things simpler and more efficient, but since I’m “still a newbie” (I haven’t been there over a full year yet, but almost.), all my ideas are dismissed without being heard or even given a fake attempt of appearing interested in hearing them. I get cut off and talked to like I’m stupid. I have a really good point if they would just hear me out to the end. I’m a smart girl with good ideas and I hate being silenced or treated like I’m slow. I can’t move forward with life and gain […]
Can someone please help me end this? This is ridiculous.
For me to have the strength to end it all, i would have to have some motivation. If I had any motivation to do anything, I would cling to it. I would survive.
At this very moment, though, I only have the precious remnants of it. I’m drunk, so there’s some dopamine or some other shit in my system letting me be enough of a human to write this. Letting me be a man. A man which is strong enough to send a hopeless and desperate cry for help.
I work 50 hours a week and I give […]
My hands are shaking. My heart is breaking. I know I’ve lost you. You say I’ve moved on but I know I haven’t. I’m just not okay. I’m not happy. I’m not.. ANYTHING. I have my rope, waiting to slip around my neck and for me to take that plunge.. And I feel numb. Nothing. I know I hate myself. I know a lot of things. But nothing compares to the knowledge of my love for you. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s the truth. You are my soul mate and I will die without you. I can’t talk to you because you freak […]
That sure has been the case with a few of my most important posts. 😛
I hate everything about the world. Today my dad got mad at me because I was by myself at a theme park looking for my group. He says I would have “no chance” against any fat fuck trying to pull me into a van because I’m “16 and 5-foot nothing.” Also, yesterday, I was out walking, and a boy in a car rolled down a window and shouted “Take it off, *****!” at me. I’ve gone through this a number of times. I’ve been whistled at and shouted at by boys […]
Let me just begin by saying that i have contemplated suicide many times in my life time, mostly during my adolescence, but just recently also. I have been observing this page for a few days, and have been reading all of your posts.
I happened to stumble upon this article while searching near death experiences, and was amazed and humbled by the words so much that i began to cry. (not from sadness, but from the pure warmth of peace) I hope this brings you peace, and if not peace, a better understanding on why you are here now, and why we all MUST suffer sometimes… […]
am 19 year old, a second year student of Psychology from St. Xavier’s College.
I do not exactly remember how long it has exactly been but I have never had a good relationship with my parents since I was some 16 year old after I had my first relationship with a guy.
Though they let me go out to college, but my life is equivalent to hell. I do not say I am the only suffering person in the world, but for me, at this moment, only my pain matters.
Day before yesterday when city enjoyed one of the loveliest weather, I asked my mother […]
Raining endlessly, the usual bipolar weather of New England. Cold & drabby, yet a constant reminder of how she feels on a regular basis. Allows her to empathize with at least something, but ironically rain has no vitalities, schedules, appointments, nothing. Mere droplets, all without knowledge, lacking a single breath of life, just free falling, rhythmically dancing with not a even a slight reason or for any purpose. It’s all just there, forced to fall by the weathering ways of Earth’s atmosphere, its recycling. Yet may still compare with individuals prior to “living,”, born without a choice, forced to live amongst others, unknowing & dancing […]
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years. Â I’ve been thinking pretty much these thoughts throughout the entirety of that time period- the thoughts becoming more complex and clear or unclear as time passed. Â I’m 18 now. Â It has been especially bad this year getting ready for college. Â The thoughts of moving out and beginning the rest of my life are eating away at me. Â I never really thought I would get this far but I did. Â The fact that I’ve only been here 18 years is killing me. Â I’ve only been here 18 years. Â How can I possibly put up with 70 more years […]
The world is quite a peculiar place that I have yet to become accustomed to. Sometimes just the sheer aspect of living overwhelms me. Does that in itself make any sense at all? I very much doubt so, but it pervades me nonetheless.
Even now, looking outside my window; at the beautiful tranquility of the night, the pure brilliance and wonder that the night evokes. Looking off into the glittering scenery before me I can only wonder about life. The significance of everything, The sheer luck and probability that life has unfolded and used to mould and influence the present. The magnificence of it, the questions […]
I am making a list of things that I could do to help me make it to Tuesday…
aside from stuffing my face with crap (which does not help in any way) what can I realistically do / accomplish / come up with / fabricate / engineer / occupy my time with / invent / rearrange / be proactive about / just to get on with it?
* take a shower
* eat a healthy breakfast
* work on details of a resume to help myself on Tuesday so the appointment I am putting such stock and hope in is able to help me go forwards…..
Need someone to talk to about opiate overdoses and its effects
by MrSebastior
written by MrSebastior
Basically I need to ask questions about said topic.
please email me if you have a fair amount of knowledge about opites!
MeSebastior@gmail.com, thanks
I have been lurking on this site for a while, and a few months ago I began to post some of my own thoughts here. Within a short span of time this site has begun to play a very important role in my everyday life. It has generated a wide-range of emotions from me, especially the SP-Chat.
Through this place I have experienced some of the happiest moments of my life while at the same time it has caused me much emotional and mental anguish. I’ve become quite addicted to visiting this site, reading posts, hearing the ideas and emotions people are expressing and learning from […]
Up, up, up she climbed the mountainside
A wanderer ever tattered and forlorn
Pausing a moment as she arrived
At her edge of the world
Having travelled far and wide
Paths trodden once and never again
Gazing over the graceful cliffside
With which no beauty could contend
Her soul emitted a spent cry
For she had passed a life
Simply alone, completely untied
To anything in the realm of Time
Yearning for a peaceful culmination
For her broken body, if not her broken mind
During this regretful lamentation
Sharp weathered eyes suddenly spied
The wispy smoke of a village down below
Floating up into her cloudless starry night
Down […]
It’s petrifying how little from the world truly exists: only the now.
Such a narrow flickering glimpse.
The past is memory. The future is simulation. And they are both occurring in the now, the recalling of the memory, the playing of the simulation. Aren’t they?
But the mind refuses to admit it. The mind finds this microscopic now terribly boring. How can you compare this skimpy moment to the vastness of the past and the future? it asks.
I wanted to try something to get more knowledge of what songs people might like to make them happy..they say classical music stimulates the babies brain so maybe if I listened to good music that makes you happy then we could be on the same page..that’s what friends are for right? I like leona Lewis, footprints in the sand & I like beyonce, I’m here. Now it’s your turn..what songs make you happy?
So I forgot to close out this website before letting my mom borrow my computer. I don’t want to talk to her about it. Why? Because there is no communicating with her. I’ve tried before. -chuckles- You know what she said? “If you do it don’t do it here”. Like that is going to make me open up to her. I wont say I HATE my mother, cause I don’t except when I’m mad lol but I do dislike her ALOT. I just don’t understand why people are so blind. I’m not perfect. There I said it. But I am trying to work on myself […]