I can’t do it anymore I’m only 14 a girl can only take so much I wish the last time I tried killing myself worked I have noone to talk to so here I am and still people won’t probly care sadly being raped by your father and friend for years and finally getting away and now your stepdad is a creep also is hard for me I try to be a good person and help a lot of people but I have no one but my boyfriend that’s not enough for me I miss my sisters I can’t see them because my family on […]
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Last Time
I am 17 years old and have been depressed for a few years now, suicidal for about a year at least… I keep reading things online about how depression is only going to get better, but in my case it keeps getting worse. My health continues to spiral downwards and make me feel like a complete invalid.
A few months ago I believe I posted another story here regarding the reasoning’s behind my depression and since then it has become much worse. The thought of suicide has become an idea that is able to make me feel at peace.
My whole life has been a battlefield between […]
I wanna cut so bad tonight. The knife looks really tempting right now. Maybe just a few cuts… It won’t do much harm unless I can’t stop like last time, right?
I honestly don’t know anything anymore, I’m not sure why I am here, what my purpose is, or why I do any of the things I do, but I do them. My suicidal tendencies continue to stay in my mind, and in the last 24 hours they have grown considerably. Now that I think about it, the last time I left the house to do anything social was months ago, sometime around February. That part I don’t fully understand more than most things. I consider myself, and I’ve been told by other they consider me, to be a kind person, quite fun and a good […]
Amy, its been 3 years since your passing and I want to leave you a message but never knew where without being ridiculed and questioned whether or not I’m not ok. I was thinking of the day we me so young and carefree I was hopeless and depressed when you met me. That changed so quickly I suddenly had purpose for everything I had a reason to like myself and to like the world around me. I still have your glasses from freshman year safely perched next to the last picture of us, the last time I didn’t fake my smile, the last time […]
I’m so sick. Everyone wants me dead. Why do I keep trying to find someone to hold on to? Noone will ever care about me. I can’t keep the happy face anymore, it’s just too much. Everytime that I show someone the agony inside they’re like “Run for the hills”. I will always be alone. Noone could ever love a stupid loser like me. I thought that I could help if I would talk to people around here. But how could a fuck up like me ever help anyone when I can’t even help myself? Everyone is going to be better without me. Nobody will […]
That awkward moment when that person you forgave betrays you in EXACTLY the same way again.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It’s actually funny because of how screwed over I am.
But don’t worry, retaliation is coming, *****. I let the last time slide because I must be a fucking saint, but this will not go unpunished.
MWAHAHAHAHAHA. You’ve yet to reckon with me, sweetheart.
Last time I spoke with another person was 14 months ago. And I don’t really suffer from social phobia or anything like that. I think I’ve become Human Cockroach. Kafka wrote about it but I used to think it was a joke or huge exaggeration. And sadly there is not even a trace of struggle here. I could really appreciate it, struggle equals life. Instead I’m trapped in airless wastelands. Why I’m still alive, when all hope is long gone, that’s truly a mystery to me.
Hi, my name’s Mady. I’m 14, and I’ve tried
killing myself 4 times. I wouldn’t say I have the
roughest life, but I do go through a lot of stuff.
And, like everyone I have bumpy roads. Many of
them in facr. The first time I tried suicide was a
couple years after I started cutting. First time
I cut myself, I was around 10? And, first suicide
attempt I was maybe 11. The first time I tried
cutting myself ’til I died. I was sorta hoping I
would bleed to death. I don’t know what I was
thinking. Second time I  was maybe 13, and
tried drowning myself, in  my bathtub. It didn’t
work out bedcause my little sister walked in.
I […]
im just writing down my lifestory shortly and i wont go into details.
i grew up on a farm. well i lived on a farm for 14 years. my dad used to force me to watch him kill sheep’s for dinner. he wanted me to learn how to shoot them in a painless way. the first time i watched wasn’t that bad. it went quick. it died in a split second. the second time. a year or a half later my dad got drunk. really drunk and dragged me into the barn and shot a sheep and yelled that i had to learn this by now. […]
All my life no one has really had high hopes for me. No one has ever motivated me into doing anything. Only my oldest sister has went to college and she still can’t find a job. My mom tells me there is no point in going to college in today’s time. Â Me I don’t care what my future holds. There is no future only a present. I get pissed off when I get treated like shit cause I have worked my ass off in school without ANY motivation to keep me going. I have done it all on my own. I decide always to work […]
All I ever wanted was to be excepted, I made friends with some of the cooler kids, got a girlfriend, got a car, but it’s all gone now. People change, my girlfriend cheated on me, and I wrecked my car (douche bag shouldn’t have turned out in front of me…). I decided to follow in my fathers footsteps and become a welder to make him proud, maybe he’d except me, but he never did… He thinks that I’m just some dumb kid who breaks the law, just like every adult thinks. I used to hangout with my girl, or my boys on a Friday night, […]
Tomorrow is my judgement day
The day I’ll see if I will live
Because finals start on Wednesday
And I’ve given all I have to give
If I fail a final I fail the class
That will be the end if that
I’ll just commit suicide
And die
Tomorrow I find out if I can take the stress
That has been building up inside me
The last time finals came around
I wound up in The Oaks
Tomorrow i find out if my best friend is going to leave me
And never speak my name again
Once again I do know
I won’t be able to take […]
I need help.
But you need to know my story first. My mom got married for the second time in 2007. Everything was fine he was really nice and he had his own daughter who was younger than me and my sister. After 2 years everything started getting worst I’m going to 9th grade and he starts acting werid he tryed to beat my sister and she went off on him and told my real dad and he had a gone crazy too. But after a couple months he started to coming inti my room at night and well, doing stuff to me. This happened […]
I have known for a long time that my death would be at my own hands. This has never been a passing whim. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t want to die. I suppose that makes me a coward because I can’t face life. My fear of suicide is only that I will be unsucessful. I am house bound and have very little access to means to end my life and no one will see it my way and help me. My biggest regret is that I had children. I should have been more carefull with birth control because no child deserves a […]
Tonight I feel the same way I did last week. Very low and super depressed. I’m depressed everyday but not like this. Everytime I cut and I think why am I continuing in this life when all I ever feel is pain and sorrow and worthlessness? Why do I keep on when I continue to feel this way. How many more times will this happen before I truely decide to try to kill myself again? Will tonight be the last time? I’m so sick of thinking that if I get through tonight it willl get better. Because that psychology doesn’t work since I’m back to […]
fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. what more can i say besides fuck? im sick of myself. sick of depending on everyone else, sick of wanting everyone to support me, sick of the charity that comes with being a depressed fuck. i wish i could get rid of myself already. i cant do shit at this point. im too fucking drunk to do anything besides finish this bottle and die. and just so you know, SUICIDE HOTLINES ARE FUCKING USELESS!!!! the last time i tried, the ****** just stuttered like, shit, what do i say? dude ill tell you what to say: fuck me, i […]
Things were starting to get better. It’s been almost two weeks since the last time I sliced myself. I finally told my dad to get me a therapist since my mom doesn’t give a shit. I guess my dad forgot about me again. Not a surprise, my family seems to forget about me alot. I even tell them I’m their forgotten child.
I really hate my family. Especially my mom. She thinks it’s hilarious to make fun of me. She’s over done it today. Haha very funny to make fun of your daughter in front of my dad and little brother. I always just […]
Theres a darkness when you’re not around,
A sense of sadness that clouds my surroundings.
The tears flow down my face,
And a question of “Why†enters my space.
My chest covered by my knees,
And I’m here crying out please.
But no matter what I do or say,
You can’t come back not even for a day or two.
A sense of sorrow starts bubbling up,
And my hands are cupped around my eyes.
A tear rolls down my lip,
and my stomach does a small dip.
This is all I feel,
Something so unreal,
And that’s all I will ever say or feel.
Yesterday, I got arrested for obstructing justice. My parents were not pleased, obviously. Especially my father. I don’t have a close relationship with my father, so I think it was pretty easy for him to disown me as his son. My mom tried to defend me and say that I’ve accompolished a lot in my lifetime, but then my dad pointed a finger at me and said, “when the fuck was the last time this stupid son of a ***** did ANYTHING right? Give me date!”. I wanted to stab him so bad… But then I realized he was right. I haven’t done shit with […]