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Mass Distortion / Blue

by Bisban 4/25/2015

written by Bisban

Time from a, burning flame
Got to start ’cause it won’t
Out of the, for the last
My Mother, through the vast space
Became my God-Mother
I love you forever, and I’m coming
Tonight, inside the congregation
This calling of befallen
That I do not know how to say
Through this balance of equilibrium
Echoes through what I
Enclosed never there somewhere
The binary

Oh man . . .

They both were, and they both wanted to
My new homies that I just made but now it’s
Mecton, I don’t know what the
But this push to give me of a stride
I’m going where I need […]

4/25/2015 0 comment

To Those That Have Lost Hope…

by whats_left 4/25/2015

written by whats_left

Hello to everyone out there reading this post. I posted what I thought would be my last post nearly 3 weeks ago now. I posted and then went on my last walk to the forsest preserve where I was to die. Had all the supplies in my bag, I was ready for it all to be over. I had finally felt this level of peace that I hadnt felt in over a decade. I was happy that it was finally almost over…..

Well obviously it didnt go according to plan as the branch must have snapped and I woke up on the forest floor. I immediately […]

4/25/2015 7 comments

one last time

by worthless_loser 73 4/25/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

As I’m near the end for the third time in 2 1/2 weeks, my main wish is for success. I have read the statistics on suicide attempts over and over. I know the dangers of a failed attempt.

So my realistic, rational wish is to be able to do it right and not leave myself in even worse shape than I’m now. Because as much pain as I’m in now, it would be worse if I fail.

But regardless of that wish, I still have another wish that is not realistic. It’s actually quite irrational, as it is not possible and would never happen.

Those that have read […]

4/25/2015 10 comments

That time again

by bluesun 4/25/2015

written by bluesun

I bottled it last time. Something stopped me. I hope I have more courage this time. The thing that stopped me last time is gone now. No more. Destroyed. Just like I destroy everything. I don’t feel now which is a blessing. I really can’t take anymore. If I’m lucky by this time tomorrow I will have found peace. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. All I do is destroy. I’m selfish and difficult and I hurt people. I don’t mean to but my very existence, by being what I am hurts those around me. It’s better that I go. I want to […]

4/25/2015 3 comments

Saturation

by whatwentwrong 4/24/2015

written by whatwentwrong

I would not categorize my self as depressed, but as an angry, lost, and weak individual. I’ll start my story in the year 1986. My father and mother have meet, fell in love and decided to get married. My father’s family was against it due to social, culture, and financial difference. But my father went and got married anyway, Romantic you might think? But it’s not. My mother had so much shit from his family and here family [they refused to help and just got money]. And my father did not do anything but stood in the corner and did nothing. He was, he is selfish.

Speeding […]

4/24/2015 4 comments

reciprocity

by comomequieranllamar 4/22/2015

written by comomequieranllamar

So a friend has been talking with me in WhatsApp for the last week. We hadn’t seen each other for months, and I had stopped talking to her months ago cause she didn’t reply.

So she has been talking to me this week, and today she called me crying. And, stupid as I am, I immediately drove to see her.

I could feel her pain, and I could relate to everything she was telling to me, as I feel it myself. But it just felt so wrong to be there for her even when she’s never there for me…

4/22/2015 8 comments

it’s my party.

by worthless_loser 73 4/22/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

I remember that old song “it’s my party and I will cry if I want to.”

I kinda feel like that today. As my time comes to an end, I find myself doing a lot of things for the last time. It has a bittersweet quality to it.

My life before her was neither happy nor unhappy. I was just rolling along, existing the best could at any given point in time. Some ups, some downs, but mostly even keel.

Then she came to me and everything changed. Both for good and bad. But mostly good. I got to experience love and family. The two most important things […]

4/22/2015 5 comments

why

by radi0active-f_ckup 4/22/2015

written by radi0active-f_ckup

I will never understand why I did it, but I did. I let him take control of me, & I let him take all of me. He took away all of the innocence that I had. I was 13 at the time, & he was 24. I knew it was wrong, & I have hated myself for it ever since, but I let him sleep with me. I don’t even know if I gave consent anymore. Not because I regret it, but because of me being so young & looking up to him. Did he just manipulate me, or did I give consent? I don’t […]

4/22/2015 5 comments

magic pill

by worthless_loser 73 4/21/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

I wish there was this magic pill out there. Actually, it really doesn’t even have to be a pill. It could be any form. Solution, injection, whatever.

This is how it would work: Once you take it, there is no turning back. No one and nothing can reverse it.

The first 15 minutes you are fine. Gives you time to write a last minute note, record a video, make a phone call, whatever it is you want to do.

At 15 minutes you rapidly start to feel sleepy. You have to lie down. Your speech becomes labored and slurred. Your thoughts are muddled.

At 30 minutes you are completely […]

4/21/2015 3 comments

This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?

by niki 4/20/2015

written by niki

I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?

everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]

4/20/2015 5 comments

Everything was good until my last court hearing.

by Benjamin2004 4/19/2015

written by Benjamin2004

I’d gone almost sixty days since my last suicidal thought. My court date last week changed all of that and suicide is again heavy on my mind. Now I am faced with the prospect of my future self being happier than my current self. Which do I believe. I don’t see happiness in the future.

4/19/2015 1 comment

Worst Ever

by FeelingFunny 4/19/2015

written by FeelingFunny

So I tore myself apart last night, I mean that literally. Even thought about how the scars would look once healed, but I still did it. No sleep, a scandalous female in my bed who is just 100% using me, and I think Im gonna get fired from my job.

4/19/2015 2 comments

when nightmares are better than real life

by survival0302 4/19/2015

written by survival0302

Last night I had a nightmare.

When I woke up, I was relieved at first. My heart had been racing, and I started to calm down.

Then I “woke up” again and remembered what my real life is like right now – worse than what was happening in the nightmare.

When your nightmares are better than your real life…how do you deal?

4/19/2015 1 comment

Suicide attempt last night

by fallensovietgirl 4/17/2015

written by fallensovietgirl

I attempted to commit suicide last night by suffocation. Did not work. I also tried hanging myself: no success there. Think I might try a drug overdose next time.

4/17/2015 7 comments

by kimhj 4/16/2015

written by kimhj

it’s my first post but i don’t know how to put my words in a sentence. I have lots of things that is hurting me from inside n outside. i kept all my problems to myself, Every things bad happens to me i feel like this is the end… i can’t take these are anymor I’m done and, when i talk to my self i say hey, u need to be strog enough to live but, right after that smt worse than last time happen and im just like WHY!?!?! What shoul i do? Im so weak now

i’m scared to do smt wrong ????

(sorry if my […]

4/16/2015 1 comment

It was suppose to be me

by lost_soul 4/15/2015

written by lost_soul

My classmate killed himself last week and this morning was his funeral. Many of our professors and classmates attended, specifically from our year. Some were saying he shot himself, others were saying he hanged, but it doesn’t matter since he succeeded. The thing about him is that he was the life of the party and was the popular one in school; he was not the one expected to pass away. Whereas here I am, the loner, and I was planning on being the one to die in our year. I would not be as much of a loss to anyone. If I knew he was […]

4/15/2015 0 comment

morte et a morte

by cathy arsis 4/14/2015

written by cathy arsis

sanity can fall so abruptly, with such disarming ease, and swifty become a casualty of life,
we are so quick to allow all things tragic that alight on all sides of this life to hold sway,
most of which we musnt only bear but abide by so it naturally follows that from time to time we
might hope for some permanent respite, and think sweetly upon death…. all have felt this way,
some more than others I suppose. this can be chalked up to the human condition, for us to feel as
though we’ve been cheated
God closes his eyes, breaths in deeply, so many […]

4/14/2015 0 comment

by ligo89 4/13/2015

written by ligo89

I’ve been attempting to take my life since I was 14. I always have found ways to talk myself out of it. I’ve got to graduate college. At 20, I’ve got to get my BS degree. And now at 26, I’m here getting my PhD at a reputable university with a beautiful wife. What I feel at my core has not changed.

I want my aunt’s and my wife’s approval. Situate them with loaned money and then disappear the way I would like. I’ve done therapy. I’ve been on many prescription drugs. Still I find myself here.

I’ve been thinking lately that this never gets better. Everyone […]

4/13/2015 3 comments

Guilt

by Turned new leaf 4/11/2015

written by Turned new leaf

I always find myself coming back here when I lose hope. I post and you amazing people reply and I somehow get the strength to pull myself together.

But honestly guys, I want this to be the last time I come here, because I want to leave this world, for good.

But it is hard, the only two people I think about when I make up my mind to end it all are my Mother and Father. They will be shattered. Is there a way to make sure that they will be ok with my committing suicide?

Please help, I dont want to carry a guilt to my […]

4/11/2015 7 comments

.

by quaero 4/10/2015

written by quaero

However I know why I didn’t. I might throw up and blame myself for not going, and perhaps I’ll keep doing that for the rest of my life, but I know precisely why I didn’t run away last year. I was ready, fully ready, I know that. I am not a coward.

I used to have a lot of desires and instincts. But eventually, with the passage of time and suffering, many of them faded away. And only two were left. Only two prevailed. They were: Desire for truth & Hate for society.
Society is my proverbial enemy, my arch enemy. But I am not a psychopath […]

4/10/2015 0 comment

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