all my life , I’ve been that fat girl, the ugly girl. The girl noone wants to be around. Okay . I’ve had my fights and stuff but I just still don’t get why nooone has ever liked me. I’ve had ftoends and boufroends but I always find out what they really think of me.. its always my personality .. Im numb.. all I do sometimes is cry. My dad used to be an alcoholic now my mom is an abusive alcoholic.. my first love is now gay.. Im 17 years old.. I weigh 200 pounds. I have acne all over my face and body […]
I am in the military and my wife has been telling me for years “Ever since that last deployment, you just haven’t been the same”. Can’t say I was blown up by an IED or anything of that nature, but the experience was bad enough that the the thought of going back out gave me enough anxiety to want to rip out my chest. I should have gotten help when I got back. It took 3 years but it won. I broke.
On January 24th 2013. I tried to commit suicide. I tied an electrical cord around a joist in my basement. Then I tied it […]
fourth grade and things didnt get better. People didnt really talk to me and if they did, they never had anything nice to say to me.I constantly got called names; Fatty, little miss piggy, worm (because i had my hair braided and they looked like little worms), four eyes, book worm, slob, ugly etc. I became very drawn back and I started to write poetry. My first poem was called no one cares about me. its a self explanatory poem. the names got to me. they weighted on my heart so much. I became bitter towards the world. I started to get a really bad attitude. I fought back […]
I finally got a job, which is wonderful. It’s helped me get out of the house, fill up my time, keep me busy and not feel so lonely. But the thing is… they are all so judgemental. It brings me down sometimes, I mean if they are talking about others like that, what are they saying about me?
First things first, I am a cutter, however I have always cut my legs, and the ones on my arms are done in such a way that they are either hidden or they just look like an accident. Anyway, there was a girl working for us for about […]
had a good day at work today. then-a wave of despair comes over me out of nowhere and i am bawling by the time i get home. just like someone flicked a switch or something. feeling very detached . don’t want to see anyone. don’t want to talk to anyone. don’t want to exist. my self imposed isolation has served to make me wary of people. but i hide in plain sight. feel myself slipping away. i am so damned tired. my body is aching , like i have been beaten up again. don’t know if it is depression or the meds. probably some combination […]
Today has been better than yesterday was for her. No yelling, no fighting, no hurtful words were propelled at her.
Last night was rough on her. She had to meet her regulars, some nice, some not so much. There was always those men who were very aggressive and since they were paying they felt entitled to anything they wanted. The girl would stop arguing after the first hit, she would stop resisting and let herself float into subspace waiting till it was over. The girl would awaken with noticeably black bruises up and down her arms, her neck, and down her legs.
She is afraid to go home, she […]
Your heart is hard
You think your legs hurt
You smell of aching sweet success
Your head’s a supernova, and you would like
Anything to stop the pain
From your fingers
Screaming
Up-turned razor
The air is thick with karma
A sutra of the way down
Well listen boy it’s a long way down
Down through heaven’s gate
To heaven’s gate the step’s the step
The tower of pride
The devil lied
It can always be worse, I mean I could not have legs or something. But the idea of outward problems that can easily be identified seems so much Better than what I suffer with. It’s those little inward things, that eat you out slowly, dying on the inside, dominated by things that shouldn’t own me. I’ve attempted suicide, I’ve drank too much took too many pills. I’ve hurt myself just to feel something, and speaking from experience it doesn’t work. Whatever’s on the other side has to be better than what’s going on for me over here. I can honestly say that I don’t have […]
stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]
I am not a wall
I am not a door,
Why is it okay for me to always be ignored?
Lack of importance, lack of self-respect
Suicide conquers alot of people,
please let me be the next.
Day by day,Night by niight
No more battling
I can’t win this fight.
Scars are there to remind me, how I used to feel,
but I take a step back to look,
nothing seems to be real.
I go through the motions,
every fucking day,
but when you ask me what’s wrong,
I don’t know what to say.
Darkness is around me,
everywhere I turn,
Happiness is what […]
Last night was just an all around bad night. My girlfriend needed to go to the hospital and I offered to go with her, but she said “no” because I need to sleep for school, understandable. And then my boyfriend said he will go with and she jumped at the idea which honestly just bugged the shit out of me. I mean, how in the world did it make sense that she only wanted him with her. I just was so mad. And then again I was bothered because they just automatically assumed I will watch their 2 year old daughter. And yes, I know […]
 
Hello people.
I am 15 and from Brazil. I think this post is gonna be long, but I ask you to read it.
The point of my post is not sharing my self-harming story. But let’s start with it.
The time was 2011. I had some problems with people. Actually, people were my problem.
These Internet fads were rising at that time, in my country. Not only that, I was 13, that moment when we start to grow up and realize how people are […]
“wake up” no one says and she rises to a lonely cold morning, its only four and shes not tired.. she walks to the kitchen, feet padding softly on the white tile. The bright glow from the fridge lights up half of the small apartment and she sighs. “thanks for the dinner.” she muttered in pain, the girl hadn’t eaten in two days because everyone else got to the fridge first. after a burning hot shower she stood in front of the steamy mirror staring at her horrid reflection.. tan skin, almost boy short tangled hair and scars on her face.. the girls took her […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA
take some time to watch this video. No matter how bad you think you have it someone probably has it way worse than you. Life is a gift, its so special we cant even understand it. We try to figure out everything but why we live such a short life, what we have here now is special. Make the most of what you have because whats worse than being alive? we simply don’t know. Smile today because you can still walk. I had my legs taken away for 3 months and soon another 3 and I understand I can do anything I apply myself too.
I am 19 and I’ve been cutting myself since I was 15. I cut on my legs so that no one will see them. I do it to distract myself from the sadness and emptiness and the constant thought of suicide. I feel like I’m not going to amount to anything, not going to do anything great with my life and be a complete failure. I’ve kept it a secret all this time. This is my first year in college and one of my new friends found out what I’ve been doing. She’s been tring to get me to stop but she doesn’t know what see’s doing. She […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while… But it’s because I’ve been doing better. The reason I’m back is because I can’t just leave. I was put through this site for a reason, and I believe that as much as it was to help me, I have to try to help the others on here.
So. Suicide tape.
I have been taping my wrists, ankles, and waist for the past few weeks. Like actually taping off the areas I like to cut. I use hockey stick tape, or sports tape because its more comfortable and I can write on it like paper. It also doesn’t attract […]
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
be straight up I suppose…. My names Serena , I’m in 7th grade at Bemidji Middle School , I have a smile on my face most of the time(= , but everybody knows im ‘depressed’ , because …. I cut myself , a lot… my legs , my arms , my wrists , my stomach…. It make’s me feel better. I don’t know what else to do! , I ALWAYS get called a ; HOE , WHORE , **** , ***** , FAT , UGLY , WORTHLESS , ATTENTION WHORE , DUMB , BOYFRIEND STEALER , etc.. It sucks , a lot , I don’t […]
Everyone always says that high schools bad. That people being mean is just a part of life. But why. I mean what have i done to you to make you hate me and say those awful things. Did you not notice the scares plastering my arms, legs and stomach in gym class. Did you not relize that i left for several months at a time. Did you notice anything.
What would you do if your mother who would push you down stairs throw water cups at you, had men come in a sexualy abuse you, then when you finaly are taken away from her and move to your […]
rope, beam, stool, sits in a cardboard box, so a friend committed suicide by hanging, wife found him strangled on a beam located in master bedroom, been thinking about doing similar thing except its just me in the garage, my dad died when i was young, thats when i learned the true meaning of death, meaning your not coming back. told friends “hey i want to kill myself” in junior high, and high school, they looked at me weird yet it didn’t hit me as weird to do so. even my teachers noticed in my writing while doing essays in class. then i realized maybe […]