I’m writing here to tell you guys how I feel. As one of the posts I read, this person implied that he/she isn’t suffering from anything dramatic such as a traumatic experience, death of loved ones, problems in relationships or family matters. I myself could say the same. Anyone would want a simple life like mine but guess what.. Even I’m suffering. I’m suffering in a way that doesn’t make sense at all. I think of contemplating suicide, some days more than others. Why? Because of these horrific and nightmarish thoughts I have. I can’t stand the fact of knowing we are like […]
Tag:
Life Doesn
We all seem to share one thing… The question, why do we want to die, why are we alive, why do we feel this way? I can only speak for myself we are all very different. I just turned 18 and have a world of opportunity. I’m considered pretty and envied by others and I’m off to a great school for fashion merchandising, my passion, at the end of August. I have best friends and a boyfriend. It all sounds perfect right? Wrong. I constantly wake up wondering why I woke up. Sometimes I lay and stare at the ceiling and feel like a hole […]
I am someone who has gotten help for my depression before. I went to a treatment center and it helped considerably. But…I still feel like something is…missing. I still feel pain for no reason, want to cry when there’s nothing to cry about, and just feel, well, lousy when left by myself with nothing but my thoughts. If someone said, ‘Here, I have a painless way to die. You’re gone instantly.’ then I would probably take it. Life…doesn’t have much meaning for me. It’s like, ‘okay, I exist’ but nothing more. I’d be content to just stay in my house all my life. I don’t […]
whatever ill use the tags in the title general rant, but one more fucking day and i am done with this bullshit and turning out the fucking lights.
by ezrakata
written by ezrakata
theres nothing i can say or do is there? well it wouldnt matter if you said yes or no bec it doesnt change the fact that there is nothing i can ever say or do that is the right thing- i thought I was doing the right thing and now i have no idea about anything really. even though my life was screwy I had these constants that were just there…certainties that I thought well if this ship goes down at least these things will still be around. at least i have this or at least i have that. reality check you dont have anything […]
I’m so tired of being alive. Everything is so pointless. Nothing matters. We’re just a tiny speck on a speck of a planet in a speck of a solar system in one tiny galaxy among trillions and trillions and trillions of galaxies. Nothing makes a difference in the long run.
What happens right now will affect your life, but it won’t make a big difference. Sure, it might a few people, but what does that matter? We’re just numbers on a gravestone. My insignificant life doesn’t matter, but I should at least be happy, so I can enjoy it just a bit while I’m here. Right? […]
It’s been said that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I don’t see that as a deterrent, who wants a temporary solution to any problem? Solutions are good, permanent solutions are even better. Anyways, my life sucks. Life doesn’t suck, just mine. And there is no one to blame but me. I don’t care enough about anything. I am unmotivated to make my situation any better. I just don’t care. People sometimes tell me to search for that desire or goal or want to strive for, only I don’t want anything. I don’t even want to die, I just don’t want to live […]
There’s very few people who know me really well. However, those who do know that I am, in fact, a shitty person. Everything about me is shit. I am selfish, ungrateful, bitchy, rude, and anything else with a similar negative connotation. I am not a good person. The worst part is that sometimes I don’t even notice it. I’ve hurt the person I care about the most. I’ve failed them. I’ve also failed myself. What’s the point of living in this world when you’re not benefiting it? I’m not going to do any good for anyone, so why should I be here? I despise myself […]
Life is just luck of the draw
I wish I was luckier. Life has been going down hill for such a long time, and honestly I’m not sure I can endure.
I’m growing so tired, even my health is declining. I feel so sick, and I’m only 18
Life doesn’t seem to hopeful, and its not just because I’m young,
everything in this world is controlled by might, by power, and I, have no power
Sure, everything is in the mind, illusion and manipulation, but honestly I’m so tired
This world is full of the mindless, the uncaring and ignorant
So many horrible things are […]
If so, I’d like to know what it is. Life doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I came here out of desperation. I have nobody to share my feelings with. I am alone. I’m afraid to be close to people because they always hurt me in the end. Or maybe I’m alone because people generally do not want to be around me. “Freak,” they’ll call me, telling me how I am not worth their time. “Tell me, why haven’t you had a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” They’ll ask me. Outraged, I deny, but they don’t believe me. It isn’t my fault nobody wants me. It isn’t […]
im not gonna say that my feelings for life doesn’t change every now and then. that would be a lie. i have good days and bad days like everyone else. and this lady’s and gentlemen is a really bad day.
no its not a bad day as in: someone f**** me over or i’ve been stabbed with a knife or my boss hates me or anything like that. its just the god damn feeling of being alive. people say its a lovely feeling. i think its gross and uncomfortable. and just FYI. don’t try and say that you know how to fix this or. just give […]
im not shure and i honestly don’t care if anyone has written anything even remotely similar. my life doesn’t suck. yeah it has its moments. but no. i like my life.
but. im tired. thats all there is to it. there is nothing left for me here. i just feel like i am done here. i need to move on.
i got help for these suicide thoughs. but honestly. nothing worked. in the end of the therapy i pretended to be healthy. but… you cant fix someone when they are already dead inside.
some things are beyond therapy i guess.
im not old. im 18. and appear like everyone […]
Sometimes I feel like I’m pretty and smart but then I look in the mirror and every name I’ve ever been called just comes flashing back to me and I try to be strong but I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t want to deal with this anymore, I don’t want to be me anymore. I tried reaching out to someone in real life but she thought I was kidding and she doesn’t understand. She’s never felt like this for a day in her life. I understand that I’m not the only one to feel like this, but I’m the only one here, where I […]
Ive been thinking alot about all sorts of things. Uhm I just don’t know what to do I honestly can say though taking my life doesn’t seem right at all someone made me relize that sure I’m still going to struggle through this and using these small things to numb the pain but one decision has been mad that I’m not going to take my own life if anything I’m just going to let what ever happens on it’s own and maybe I do need help but that will be decided at a different time I havnt even taken a hit of dope today even […]
(no particular order, i will add to it, i don’t mean to offend anyone, please don’t take it so personally)
People who make too much eye contact when your talking to them.
People who STARE…
TALL pEoPlE
i hate how im so different
PEOPLE WHO CALL YOU SHORT
I HATE HOW LIFEÂ doesn’t make a shit load of sense
POPULAR PEOPLE-kill them all… no im kidding…. ..
People who use you.
PEOPLE WHO DON”T LISTEN TO YOU, you need to scream until they answer
MORNING PEOPLE
BAD ACTORS (NICK CAGE-WTF borring
I love sleep
Dislike:waking up
DIslike:bedtime(insomnia)
i hate sleep paralysis
 I LOVE BEING ALONE
I hate how im so meaan to myself
I hate how i think im a pathological […]
Maybe I don’t know who I really am. I catch myself contradicting myself a lot when I think. I’m trying to figure this hell of a life out, so maybe things will get better. Maybe I just want to understand how everything works. But there’s never going to anyone who knows everything about everything else, especially life. Life doesn’t mean that much and it isn’t that great sometimes, But is it worth it to even stay around just to see what the future holds?
i feel like shit, it feels like i am only myself when i am like this: suicidal, depressed, angry , and what more. Its like i am half awake when i am ”acting” happy in front of others. i can’t really explain it, lately i have been thinking about something to cause me a lot of pain. i need hurt to feel alive, but i find myself doing nothing but praying for pain. i am weird , i really am, there is something wrong with me. i ”bully” myself a lot less when i am already in pain, and i also mean terrible situations. […]
Its been a while since ive written here, I’m writing this on a notepad on the bus but I assume a lot has changed, I’d like to meet some of the new guys here.
But, anyway.. Reason for posting, it’s not really so much about me, there’s just a shitload of stress happening to people around me. My best friend is having the shittiest year at school right now and I feel really bad for her, which is nothing I’d be doing a year ago, but ive gotten different too. I guess life has been gotten more boring and I’ve woken up and started caring about […]
if you have no one relying on you, then what’s so bad about killing yourself? I have family and friends, sure, but none of them needs me to live. I see friends every other week, try to see family less than that; I know I’m not necessary. I’m not necessary to any one other persons existence. People would be sad but so? Life is saddening.
No kids, no spouse or prospects of any kind, no pets, no car or mortgage and no hope.
If I continue living, I’ll just be seeking out ways to stay happy, like everybody else does. But nothing makes me happy, […]
Today, I am full of angry thoughts. I just checked the gun. How surreal. It’s there. Several are in this house. Now, I need a bullet. 32mm. I find lots of 22 mm, but don’t think that gun is good enough. I’m crazy writing this. I know this is my thinking, my old thinking & thoughts that need to die. I am a follower of Byron Katie. She is a teacher of “loving what is” and this reality raises itself again & again. www.thework.org
I admit, I missed my medication for 2 days. I took it today and will probably be feeling normal soon. I’m so […]
I will make this quick because I’m preparing to die any minute. I’ve become so fed up with the world—with all the people who said they’d be there for me when I needed them. I’ve fought with depression for years and its finally got the better of me. I sit here writing this feeling myself drift in and out of consciousness after taking 12 Oxycodon pills and slitting my wrist and I’m kind of upset I’m getting blood all over my keyboard. The love of my life doesn’t love me, isn’t that a pity party everyone goes through? Only I’m not sure people truly understand […]