I’m just so tired of life. All the responsibilities, all the sadness. I think I’ll fake insomnia to get sleeping pills to overdose on.
The past couple of weeks, I’ve been really down on myself. Looking in while looking out at the same time. It’s been hard. I don’t know what I really want from life, I really don’t. If I am honest, not sure I want anything at all.
I came by this forum a few months back, been hit or miss for me, like a mad hit and run. You guys are great. And the I thought I would share something totally off the wall with you all. I was in very much in need of a good laugh, so I turned to a program to which again, […]
God dealt me the shit hand really I didn’t asked to be born a fuck up iv come to terms with the first born child is always really a mistake having to stumble though life trying to find your purpose or meaning then you have all the life experience that mess you up and make you self harm depressed and anxious about everything then the doctors want to give you meds just to keep you on a level or think they can fix you but can you really fix something that was broken to begin with don’t see the point in the struggle anymore I feel […]
what happens if you try meds therapy etc and that don’t work am I mean to sit back and watch life move on without me even no I’m alive I would rather not be around sitting in the shade do depressed people get better or isit for life cause this sucks just surviving each day with no goals I do dread waking up most day to do the same thing all over again the next day
I recently gathered myself together working on a better me but things have been making a comeback pretty bad I think this life just isn’t made for me I don’t think I can take the pressure or pain anymore
So, I had a great last day. I swam, I surfed, I fell off my board a few times, got smashed up the last time. Pic to prove it. I laid on the beach, I just got down with a long soak in the tub. I’m changed and I am about to go down soon for a very light last meal. I know I have to have a empty stomach in which to take “N”.
My last night is beginning….I’m waiting […]
It’s ironic how our life experiences are meant to make us the people we are meant to be but they seem to be crippling us at the same time pushing me right to the edge is this my destiny to live in the shade were the light in the dark ?
🙁 Life sucks….
My life up to now has been nothing but crap….. Superficial, fake, and just tiring. I’ve grown tired of having to fake how i feel just to cope with family and friends and life in general when inside i feel the opposite of what i’m faking. I was told that if you worked hard you do anything. That nothing was impossible… To only find out that i was being lied to. Everyone else acts like life is great when it really isn’t… They blind themselves from the thought that there really is no point to it. Anyways i was wondering how could i […]
This may be the 5th of crown talking, but I have noticed a theme here. A trend if you will….
Seems like lots of men here (like myself) with broken hearts…..
And the woman here are just generally are tired of life and have significant others.
I am not sure quite what to make of this revelation….
Lately I’ve tried to respond to posts here on SP and for some reason they don’t show up. Wtf? Even SP is rejecting me. I am at the end of my rope. I’m unemployed and can’t find a job and I’m going to run out of money soon. I’m scared and alone and freaking out. I just want to sleep forever and not have to deal with this nightmare called life. I wish I could find the strength to over come my fear of failing at my suicide attempt. The method I have access to takes about 24 hours and I’m scared of getting found […]
Hey guys. I’m new to this place but I thought I might share something I wrote a couple weeks back. I read someone’s post online saying he was going to commit suicide that day, and I felt this rush of empathetic love toward him. It led me to write a passage about depression.
A very short background about me: I’m a junior in college. Five years ago, I went through a two-year-long period of depression. I attempted suicide in the summer going into my sophomore year of high school. Since then, life has gotten increasingly better each year and I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t succeed […]
8am- scheduled wake up
10am- actually woke up
10:02am – ah fuck late again
10:05am begin caffeine/nicotine regiment
(Blank area)
12pm- work starts to go to hell
12:30pm- spouse is in melt down
(This continues as a back and forth on which gets attention, which sucks the life out me more)
2:30pm- spouse declares I’m the problem, relationship is over (not hopeful, never is)
3:15pm- work days fucked, with 10 hours to go, isolation is creeping in, the sun is too shining, happy people piss me off with their happiness.
4pm- me: here’s the issue
Boss: no that issue […]
Last week I thought I was starting to get better. I started to let go of my depression, trying to live normally and forgetting about everything that cause my depression. I thought I was doing well. But right now, everything… everything is starting to come back. Everything is starting to fall apart again. Everything is breaking. I’m now being consumed by my depression again and I can’t control it anymore. Maybe I can’t ever be saved from my mental illness. Maybe this is my fate. Maybe life isn’t really for me. And I’ve decided, I’m going to end this fucked up life.
Tonight at symphony rehearsal, the director had a sad announcement to make.
One of our trumpet players was found dead in his car.
He was maybe late 20’s or early 30’s, and I’ve known him for over 10 years. For as long as I’ve known him, he has had a lot of problems with drugs.
I remember sometimes after rehearsal, a small group of us used to go out for dinner, then we would sit around outside and chat for a few hours. I remember he would freely admit that he was willing to try any drug he could afford, legal or not. It helped him mentally escape […]
Suicide runs in the family. Dad killed himself almost 8 years ago, then my cousin who most identified with did the same a year later.
I know have had some form of bi-polar with major depressive episodes throughout life, and for sure major anxiety, but somehow have always been able to pull through when times got bad.
I have faced the darkness and abyss of just wanting to die and slowly pulled myself out of it, maybe it was easier back then, being younger, in college, more involved in people’s lives, my mother still cognizant and father still alive.
Mom has alzheimers now, I uprooted […]
I saw my friend again for the first time in forever (like 2 months!) which is the longest it’s gone without seeing him. And he says the same old thing, that it’s not all about looks to him but it clearly is, because no one is up to the very high standards he sets for girls. If she couldn’t be a supermodel or a hot stripper or porn star, or is too many additional 1lb increments over the 100 lb limit, then there’s not a chance in hell they could get with him. And that’s how he is whether he will admit it or not.
So anyway, he […]
Is there a point of living life when nothing interests/satisfies you? I don’t think so. 24/7 bored, I blame who I am
Now that I have your attention,
You are probably thinking that this post will be about how to actually kill yourself. Well it is and it isn’t.
I had one of those god knows how to spell the bloody word apifiny, nope doesn’t look right. Anyway one of those light bulb moments.
Flash of genius, whatever you wanna call it.
I realised the only true, successful, way to kill yourself without really physically killing yourself is to just get in there and slaughter the hell out of your thoughts, feelings, actions, demons, and the list goes on.
Throw a bomb in there and explode them all in to a million pieces.
Steralize […]
Maybe one day,
people would be more careful to what they say.
Maybe one day,
we’ll find a better way to lessen the pain.
Maybe one day,
our hearts will be healed.
Maybe one day,
scars will remain.
Maybe one day,
life will give us reasons to live.
Maybe one day,
we can learn how to stand again.
Maybe one day,
we can find ourselves.
And maybe, just maybe
It can all happen one day…