The lines you hide scream out
“I am alone.”
And even though they were once open,
you have remained as closed as they are now
for your entire life.
But I have seen the forbidden scars,
and how I wish I could put my hand over them.
Not so that they are covered,
but so you know that they can be accepted,
that you are no longer alone.
Im working as a temp and have been for a couple of months. I may have had a chance to get hired on but i just no call no showed now i may be jobless. I kept calling the temp and company the past few days to see if i had to work with no answer with either. Now someone is telling me i did have to work and idk what to do. There is a dam 10 minutes away i can always jump. Im soooooo tired of always fucking up my life. My plan was to just go but i overslept woke up hella […]
It’s a cold autumn morning, early in May, and we were making our way into a rural township some five klicks from the nearest checkpoint. Just the five of us trekking through a treeline and making haste for a derelict well. One of the guys fixed eyes on a silhouette sat beside a bucket; they were within speaking distance:
“Hello there. Can you hear me?”
The silhouette remained still. We surrounded them from both flanks as I moved forward and approached them. It was a girl no older than nine, wearing a mossy green overcoat and gumboots, with her hands bound together — an ANZAC poppy sat […]
There’s not purpose in my fucking life so what the point in even living, it’s so lame, so boring. I don’t want to live another stupid year, kill me now.
Just curious- how many of you guys have hope that your life will be better and that you’ll be happy / find happiness at some point in your life? And how many people believe that they’ll be depressed forever or that their life isn’t likely to get better?
Also, if you could include your age, or approximately how old you are (like 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 65+, under 21, teenager, tween, etc).
Just wondering what the state of mind is of the people on here. And if age matters on outlook. Thanks.
I think that I’m really not cut out for life.When I think of my future, I see myself alone. Not because that I suck at doing stuff but because of my anxiety. I am always scared to do things out of my comfort zone, I panic fast, I get angry in little time, I speak before I think and that I am a pessimist. I unknowingly ruin relationships with other people because of these. I wonder if I can get life through with this. I have put all my efforts in changing myself, even just one step at a time but still to no avail, […]
Woke up this morning with that knot in my stomach again. That basically means today’s gonna be utter crap. Been thinking more and more about my end of life, starting to become a more attractive option. Part of me wants to just sleep and not have to wake up again, and another part wants to try and fight these feelings. The latter part is fading more and more each day.
I cant see myself growing old. Somehow I just know that my death will not be a natural one. Ive spent my entire life on my knees just trying to crawl through this darkness with no end in site and I am so tired. When I ask myself what the best part of living is I immediately think death because it is the only thing that ends this unbearable cycle. I spent the first five years of my life being regularly raped by a family member and watching my mother die from an incurable illness while being beat on by my drug abusing alcoholic father. The […]
It’s impossible to explain the feeling of wanting to be at peace and that the only way your mind offers you the opportunity to obtain that peace is in death. It’s an unfamiliar feeling that’s become far too familiar, visits far too frequently and leaves you feeling far from your rational chain of thought. You don’t want to die, you don’t want to hurt those that you love and those that love you yet you can’t find the resolve within you to carry on. Each day is as painful, if not more so than the next. Regularly visiting the aquatic depths of depression that you […]
All I think about is killing myself . I try to be happy in moments but I can never seem to do it . All I have been thinking about lately is wanting to die . I don’t know if I can make it in 2016
Memories are flashing through my head constantly now like a movie stuck on replay. All of my mistakes and superficial triumphs… In an effort to escape them, I resorted to my old self-harm habits: hair pulling, scratching, biting and eye gouging… With the very hand that is trying to rip away the past reflected in the eye above, so will it end the future. I find it ironic that if I came to SP sooner, I might have not “thrown away my ex due to depression” venting on here instead. Oh well… That superficial nymphomaniac probably would have dumped me anyway since I might as […]
Thirty years of my life I am told that those glowing red embers in the fire are hot. Thirty years of my own experiences have told me that the closer I got to those embers, the more I could feel the heat.
“It’s not true”, says my Psychologist. “You can’t let what others say affect your entire life. It was your depression making you feel a heat that wasn’t really there.”
“Now, go ahead, reach into those flames and grab a big handful of those […]
Hello all, it’s been years since I last visited this site, under a different Alias. I wanted to share my experiences, maybe to give hope, maybe just to get things off my chest. I’m a male, mid 20’s. I was emotionally and physically abused, and I lost several friends (and a loved one) to suicide, and I myself attempted thrice. I was shattered, broken, and in a dark place. I felt unloved, unnecessary, and evil. I used to cut, and still get the urges whenever an episode strikes. I just wanted to say there’s hope.
I know it’s hard to believe, and nothing I can say […]
Hasn’t felt like Christmas today at all, haven’t felt that so-called Christmas spirit throughout the run up to today at all this year. Seen so many photos of other people being happy today, and it just deflates me even more. Had messages from a few people saying “hope you’ve had a good Christmas” but ended up just ignoring and not replying cos there’s no way of really explaining to them how I’m really feeling. Feels like crap like any other day. Will be the same tomorrow. Wake up, feel like crap for the whole day, go to sleep, repeat. What a great life.
I just want to run away and leave everything behind, everything is all so boring here and I’m wasting me life here.
I’m only 15 so I have to wait like three years and then I can finally leave this place.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Trying to get in the right frame of mind for Christmas.
Here is my Christmas poem.
Christmas Eve Suicide
Twas the night before Christmas
When I’d carry out my wish
In a relaxing hot bath
I’d cut both my wrists
This time I’ll succeed
I’ve planned with such care
Either heaven or hell
Soon I’d be there
My problems and worries
will no longer matter
My tormented life memoirs
written in blood spatter
I hate Facebook today.
Last night, I learned that a friend took her own life. Her Facebook page is full of pictures with her arms wrapped around her children, positive quotes, jokes, “happy” pictures with friends and deeply spiritual thoughts.
We post glimpses of our hearts not wide open pictures of our real life. We are careful not to show depth or vulnerability. God forbid that someone would see our flaws or pain.
I am learning that the keyboard becomes a template on which people […]
First of all, i want to make sure that you know, i would never take my own life.
I just currently finished yet another book about a girl taking her own life… Why, and how… Always a mystery.
Im not suicidal. I have never been. But for a long time i have been in love with the idea of the picture of taking my own life.
Always about how i would do it. How people would react. Would anyone regret things they did to me og what they never told me.
Who would find me, would anyone find.
I had the same crush about eating disorders.
I feel sick […]