hello. im back. ive been gone for over two years, i thought my life was going great! i wasa loved and loving, hoped for and hoping, cared about and caring… i am 18 now. im not the same scared little girl i thought i was before. im a confident young woman… or, thats wat the world thinks… thats wat everybody thinks, i mean… thats the point, right? i guess u could say that i am on the right track? i have a good job, i have all the right connections, i have all the correct scores when it comes to the life test. i have […]
Tag:
life
Suicide is NOT the answer.
ive learned that.
Plus because im a youngyin’.
even tho’ life gets bad once in a while.
you gotta pick yourself up and find another thing in life to worry about.
maybe something more important than  the thing your worrying about.
dont sweat it,
I promise,
life gets better.
MUCH better.
i love you no matter what.
never forget that.
the clutching curiosity of death is grasping me relentlessly. i wonder the thoughts that would race through my mind as i plummeted towards the pavement, i wonder what people would think when they discovered what happened to me, i wonder what people would think when the found out my true story and how shitty i felt while i was laughing at their jokes.
i will end my life, i will end it, i will, no one else, nothing else. this is me taking control of my life.
Hey everyone, Frodo here (for those wondering, no that isn’t my real name, though it’d be pretty cool if it was). I don’t really know what this site is for, as I found it while searching up how painful it is to overdose (apparently very painful). Â But I decided to register because I thought someone here might be able to help me. I just can’t take any more of my life. I know it sounds insanely selfish, but I just don’t want to live anymore. I feel incredibly weak for having these feelings, as I see people who have much worse lives than me be […]
I should be studying for my quantitative management exam I have tomorrow morning. I should be applying for internships for the summer. I should be out and laughing with friends. I should snuggling up with my ex-boyfriend. I should be watching Dirty Dancing with my best friend. I should be the happy go- lucky 20 year old that everyone expects me to be. But I’m not. Instead I sit here alone contemplating what my life is really worth.
I’ve always had that side of me that was never happy, and sometimes it would rear its ugly head and tell me how pathetic, worthless, unsuccessful, unattractive, […]
Why did I come here? I have no intention of dying. I wear the mask of happiness day in and day out. No one knows my secret pain, and I shall keep it that way. I came here for release. A place to put down words that express the emotions I must compress, day in and day out, while I wear the mask for the sake of others who cannot bare the face behind my mask.
I do not want their pity. There is nothing they could say or do to make it better, for nothing at all is wrong. My life is perfect. I just…hurt. […]
i live for these moments.
the ones im sitting in the little nook of my room, listening to my favorite song, sipping peppermint tea, and blogging. the moments when im at the perfect temperature with a flannel blanket wrapped around me, and my cat pacing indecisively across my lap and all i can think of is you.
It could’ve been a lot worse. I could’ve had a life like you, and you, and you…
What is it?? Do I really have a warped mind? Am I sick? Do I need someone else’s help? Am I simply ungrateful? Lazy? Stupid? Ill-intentioned? What is wrong with me?? Why am I this way???
Do you know what I mean?
That feeling when you wake up and the first thing you want to do is go back to the world you were in the whole night. A world where you can be anything, achieve everything. Where nothing is weird and you can be truly happy?
I do.
Since I was fourteen.
If I could make one wish, I would wish I could live inside my dreams.
I have been thinking about suicide a lot… But you know…
I just can’t.
Maybe you expect me to say that I can’t because I don’t want to hurt my family. But that’s not it.
If I die, I can’t dream […]
Heya. Â It’s me. Â I don’t really know what to put now that I’m trying to..
Let’s start with school (?) then home I guess.
Everyday I put on a pair of skinny jeans; most of the time they are plaid or a cool color like a greenish-blue, but other times its just blue jeans. Â Then a shirt which is either a band shirt that is too tight or one of my other shirts (including some band tees) that are way too loose. Â I have no shirts that actually fit me. Â Then I go to bathroom for hair and makeup. Â I almost always put on black eyeliner that […]
I too have lost a love and still wish to be with her. she loves me too, but says she just cant be with me. Just watched the movie and want to die. Anyone want to be Wilson and shoot me?
Faded smile. It can say a lot, or it can say nothing at all. As a kid you have a smile that just brightens everyone’s day. But as you get older you may still have that smile and it may still brighten everyone’s day but the one person who needs it the most is you and your smile doesn’t help you. Years go by, friends get lost, deaths appear, heartbreaks… Things that as a kid never existed. Soon we are shown that our lives are in our own hands. That we just as much as others can take it away just like that. And soon […]
I want you to think of something, but not just anything. About you. About you life. Ever wondered how many people around you actually care and how many are just people waiting for gossip. Or if the people you loved so very much would care if you just one day disappeared. See I recently discovered just how many people “care”. We try to hide the things we love the most, and that’s exactly what I did. For many years I had a best friend. Someone who knew everything about me and the one person I thought really cared. I chose not to see who she […]
I am 16 right now. I would not be 16 if it hadn’t been for a mircale.
I was that kid who always seemed to be followed around by bullies. I had constant thoughts about what the world would be like if I were not in it and once even asked my friends if they would miss me if I were gone. Of course they said they would, but then, I didn’t believe them.
One day, I was walking home from school and I saw a big semi-truck coming my direction. The light had just turned green for him.
I thought about how painless and […]
I don’t really know how to start this off, So I guess i’ll just start by saying Hi. I’m Anna. The age that i’m stuck with is thirteen. So. Yeah.
I guess I’m just going to rant about my problems like someone actually cares… I don’t know if It’ll make me feel better, or make me feel worse, But it’s worth a try right? Aha, I’m actually trying to be optimistic for once.
I’m just going to explain my life from the beginning. I’m a child born into the world because my mother needed a reason to stay with my father. So… Alcohol + Birth control pills […]
I feel numb.
I feel so sad.
I need time, and I need life.
I hate being alone, but I’m always on my own.
Loneliness has become part of me, it’s always near,
I’m afraid of it, but I let myself embrace in it,
I want this to go, It really fucks me up.
Trust is a powerful word and most don’t even realize it but i learned through to many experiences that no one in this world can be 100% trusted. I trusted a group of people from a small town i used to live in and look where that got me…it ended up with me getting bullied day in and day out i trusted every girlfriend i have ever had and look ive been cheated on and used or the bullshit brake up lines like ” its not you its me ” and always over text or by Facebook. I know that their are other people in […]
Life is a *****… what else is there to say? I deserve to be happy don’t I? what have i done wrong? what sort of punishment is this? a torture where life is synonyms with the pain that surrounds me…
I’m 18 years old and I feel trapped in my life. Every single day since I can remember, I’ve woken up miserable and hating myself. It started when I was 4 years old and my parents got divorced. My dad got married a few months later and I lost almost all contact with him aside from our three hour visits each month, which are forced and I dread going to. I grew up living in an apartment complex and my family was in a horrible financial situation. My mom would yell and complain and take out her depression on me and my siblings every day of every year. She and […]
Well, at a request, this is going to be a part of what I go through in life.
I’m fifteen. My mother died when I was six, I only saw her until I was three. My dad is getting married soon and I’ll be moving to a different state where the ground is sand, with three new siblings. My close relationships are with one of my friends, maybe two, My brother, my soul brother, and my boyfriend, who I’ve been dating since 12. I have social anxiety/phobia and paranoid schizophrenia. I don’t hear voices, I just get really sick and scared. I cut myself, but I […]